bad at grammar

In my last hidden space I must confess that I'm not certain I'm doing very well. I'm having trouble saying no to men and making some terrible mistakes. I'm sure there's some issue I'm not dealing with that's making me act out this way. I'm not sure what it is. This behavior isn't really the direction I want my life to go. I'm sending out what meager magic I have left in hopes that somehow something will come around and change me. Some kind of realization that brings to mind the issues I can't seem to bury.

You love him more than I. I don't dare say it aloud. Another man lost to the curse that is I. The first look penetrates deeper than your flesh ever could. I can see your thoughts. through my plastic rimmed glasses I attempt to hide my own. You will leave me. You will meet your love that far surpasses me. And by no fault of my own you will love them more. Let me show you how meaningful heartache can be. Peer through the veil. I am alone again. Another day wasted. Another dollar spent trying to repair the spoiled junk of yesteryear. Giving up was never an option when perseverance had been thrust upon me in my sleep. The curse inside is stronger than ever and upon our very first kiss I knew. I knew that yours are the arms I want to hold me when I'm sad or unwell. Your kiss is the ending of the uneven road. The long journey has come to an end. You are my safe arrival home... But you have another. A man you look at more fondly like a rose. I the tarnished silver lying dormant in the attic. I was never a gleam In your eye. Not like he is. Not like they always are. Not like this doesn't happen every time. Goodbye to the fools errand of companions. May it sink to the bottom of the ocean. Surrender your virtue you feigned to win me over.

We all have that friend that is a sweetheart and means well but is a completely different person in relationships. It's so difficult to appear to genuinely care about that person but be concerned when that person dates someone you know isn't like that. How do you explain that all your friend knows how to do is destroy good people's lives? You want that person to grow up and change and have something good in their life but at the same time you know it's going to end in flames and the nice person their partner once was will be gone forever. People have to make their own decisions and learn the hard way. Be upfront and honest about who you are as a person because when you finally do show someone who you are it's a lot to take in. It's like having the wind knocked out of you. Taking into account that I know for a fact he is lying about himself and making it seem as though he's just rough around the edges

Belonging to the moon Trapped under the sun I stand Muscles bare Bones sore At the precipice at the sea's end Knowing full well my decision I cast myself into your ocean I will not recover not for a while anyway You are the sea I wish to float on the dream I wish to be in the foam of your shores swells deep into my days I think of nothing else My thoughts envelope the moment we next kiss When it passes I want for more My greed for you surpasses all I've experienced Lucid are my days under the sun

In 90 days time the dead will rise up The moon masked in the blood of our youth will sway beyond our reach Tides rise in ethereal moons wake Blood boil Skin bake Hide beneath the surface of the highest hill Steal away any cheap thrill The dawn is coming Darkness approaches

I can already feel it. It hasn't even happened yet and I've been ignoring it for weeks. I already miss you.

Prince Charming always swoops in to save the damsel at just the right moment when everything sucks the most. Three years with cancer and no Prince Charming. I'm giving up the idea of the beautiful savior/soul mate because I'd like to believe even more that things aren't going to suck more.