how does one reach the point in life
when it is acceptable to own a life-sized puppet of yourself
and dance with it in public
will i ever be that brave?
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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trying on a metaphor
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

Product Placement

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Today's Document
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we're not kids anymore.
h

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@badalaskanads
how does one reach the point in life
when it is acceptable to own a life-sized puppet of yourself
and dance with it in public
will i ever be that brave?

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i just can't anymore
"Trade a gun for an ATV? No problem!"
o alaska...
this is way too cheerful for a psa about drunk driving
moral of the story:
women are the source of all your problems
bro

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
"What does Christmas mean to you?
Is it buying a tree and hanging lights that glow?
Is it sending cards to the folks you know?
Is it a chubby old man in a suit that's red
Saying ho ho ho from his seat in a sled?
Well, it's all these things in this season of joy
But most of all it's the birthday of a very special little baby boy.
Altrol Heating & Cooling, 2295 Van Horn Road, the company you can trust...
Let's remember to keep Christ in Christmas."
altrol heating & cooling, succinctly expressing all of the creepiness of christmas in one terrible poem
there is no good reason that a child should need a chiropractor
this segment is aptly titled:
Balls
who doesn't love a talking dog
"What about you, you got any balls?"

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
the fuck is this? stick figures?
this is pretty standard service at diners
you'll probably be drinking coffee with marge whether or not you bought a good car
after all these videos for “the hawk shop” i am still unclear what in the holy hell they are trying to advertise
cheese burgers?
diet pills?
electronics?
a podcast?
hawaiian vacations?
Honestly, the Hawk Shop remains one of the most confusing things I’ve ever encountered at home.
Wait so THIS is the illustrious Hawk Shop?
Yep. I would sometimes see the last few minutes of it because I’d turn on the TV early to catch some show on Sunday or something. It’s literally him sitting at a desk with people calling him or emailing with something they want to sell, and then other people calling or emailing and saying they’d like to buy. It’s really boring.
I always thought the one where he was wrestling a burger looked like he was humping a burger..(ps I tried to talk to the mans son about it and he got all defensive like “it was a private joke omg you’re so insensitive other people understand them!” and I’m like “uh, no I’m pretty sure they don’t…”
Anyone remember the “Hawkshop rap”
It’s just like, It’s just like, I mini mall, y’all…
…putting private jokes in commercials is a really bad marketing idea. Oh my god, that commercial was the absolute worst. So confusing and creepy. And the bit where he poorly photoshopped his lips onto the monkey’s face and then it kind of melted in weird inverted colors? Fucking nightmare fuel.
Okay wut?
I need to see these things.
or… do I…..
As an aspiring cinematic art major with a minor in ad/graph (advertising/graphic design) let me just say that this could easily be my worst nightmare.
In fact, I think it might be.
http://badalaskanads.tumblr.com/post/63509828464/if-there-were-a-commercial-for-the-kind-of-drugs
these nonsense ad jingles haunt me, literally day and night
do you realize how many times i have watched this video, even sober, wondering:
what is it? what is like a mini mall? WHAT IS IT
after all these videos for "the hawk shop" i am still unclear what in the holy hell they are trying to advertise
cheese burgers?
diet pills?
electronics?
a podcast?
hawaiian vacations?
portraying a trans woman as a physically distorted peeping tom pervert?
have you even met a transwoman before?
you probably have AND DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
if i spent $10 on every product/service that had an ad telling me to spend my PFD
i'd be broke
and very fat
do you ever see people so disgusting
that you feel like washing your hands?