uninspired & very tired

being dumb and bi is in now. if you’re dumb and bi you’re basically the coolest person on earth

adulthood is just a constant struggle of, “man, i want cookies for breakfast, but I also recognize this is a bad nutritional decision.  On the other hand, the only one who can stop me is me.  i know that fucker’s weaknesses.  i could totally take me in a fight.”

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo

If you’re doing this, it is because you, like the tiger, need enrichment and variety in your life. May I suggest cramming just a whole bunch of raw hamburger into a pumpkin and rolling it around your enclosure?

tearing bread apart and handing it to someone else is so… spiritual and intimate

lets give this bread

so many men have no idea what to do when confronted with a woman who isn’t putting on a customer service personality

But so many women also don’t turn off their “customer service personality” for a guy when he wants to know the real them.

Maybe you should think about why you scare women.

You make me feel a little less tired.

You make me feel a little more safe.

You make me feel a little more celestial

You make me feel a little less nervous.

You make me feel a little less scared.

You make me feel a little more normal.

You make me feel a little less cold.

You make me feel a little more cuddly

You make me feel a little more in love

you make me feel a little more happy

You make me feel a little more magical.

You make me feel a little less lost.

You make me feel a little more at peace 

You make me feel a little more strong

you make me feel a little less empty

you make me feel a little more calm

You make me feel a little more understood ♡