“Self-sabotage is often a way of avoiding that moment of showing up, of facing potential loss, of being strong enough and courageous enough to surrender to the unknown — but also, to surrender to the goodness of ordinary human beings.”
“When we’re immature and addicted to fantasies and we resist surrender, when we live in the world of “I have to be on top, charming, impressive, better than anyone else, and only then will I deserve love/success/happiness/high-caliber friends and lovers,” we view surrender and being present as the realm of sad drippy nothing people who speak in sentimental cliches but fail to set themselves apart, who connect but aren’t original, who commune with others, but only because they’re a little simple or a little stupid. Or they’re suckers who will get hurt eventually. Or all of the above.
The beauty of surrender, though, is that, contrary to your prejudices against it, it isn’t stagnant and sad. It doesn’t keep you small or hurt. It propels you forward, into a world of connection and feeling that not only generates more love and inspiration and hope, but also gives you inspired, clear, focused, generous energy that you can share with anyone. It’s so sad that the active resistance to high-capitalist fantasies is painted as the stuff of hippies and commies and losers in our commerce-dominated world, because it’s the difference between alienated suffering and feeling alive and good and real and in love, not just with one person but with the whole world.”
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