naruto but instead of him saying “multiple shadow clone jutsu” he says “yea can i get 1000 more of these little blonde bitches” 

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

will you please take my whimsical ass seriously

babe what's wrong you've barely touched your vanilla extract

No offense but where are the male porn bots

The show is so realistic cause look how much ammo they wasted on two clickers, they’re just like us.

I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation

i’m ugly enough to make people question their sexual orientation

bought a big black umbrella recently and now every time i use it i think about "thought the cunt was turning into a bat"

the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.

That's called being an adult

no it’s called being the bravest girl on planet earth

the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.