My Headspace

"Mmm..." She mumbled, shifting in closer to him, seemingly already halfway asleep. The sound was muffled by the pacifier in her mouth, and nearly drowned out by the crinkling her diaper made as she squirmed a little. She'd recently been in pullups most days, so the diapers were only a preventative measure for bedtime.

"Want me to keep going?" She nodded enthusiastically. "Really? You seem distracted all of a sudden," He said, dog-earing a page in the book and setting it aside. "Do you need to go to the bathroom? Should we get up?"

"Nuh-huh," She shook her head resolutely. "Does that mean you don't need to go, or you don't want to get up?" He asked. "Nuh-uh," She reiterated, helpfully.

"Come on, can you use your words like we talked about?" He asked. That was met with another uncompromising head shake, followed by an incensed finger pointed at the closed book. "This is a big girl book, honey. We're only going to read it if you use your words like a big girl."

At that, she finally pulled out the pacifier. "I kind of need to go a little. But only a tiny bit. And we're at a good part. I can just go later." He shook his head. "Come on. I've read you a book every night for like three months. I know that by the time we finish this part you're going to be even sleepier, and then I'm going to have to drag you to the potty with you complaining the whole time. Let's go."

"But I'm so comfyyyyyyyy!" She lamented, cuddling into him more. "And I have to take off my jammies, and my diaper to go...it's so much work." He shrugged. "Well, it's better than...wait, are you peeing right now?"

If the sound wasn't enough to convince him, the devious smile on her face would've sealed the deal. "Now we can finish the story and you can change me after," She said cutely. "Good solution, right?"

He found himself at a brief loss for words. "I forgot what a brat you can be," He said, shaking his head as he reopened the book. "I hope you have fun wearing diapers for the rest of the week," That caused her smile to fall, and she sat up with a . "Um, what?" She balked. "I don't need them, though." She sat up quickly, grabbing his arm and shaking it a bit. "I only need pull-ups, remember? We agreed before. You can't change your mind now, that's not fair!"

"Well, that was what we decided then," He said. "But if you're just going to pee in your diaper because you don't want to get up, obviously you're not ready for pullups."

"But, but, um, but it's different!" She insisted, clearly trying to come up with some sort of convincing argument. "I didn't pee my pullups. It was a diaper. They're for peeing in. So it's totally okay!"

"Yeah, nice try. We'll have this conversation again in a week. If you behave yourself, that is." He pulled the book open back to the dog-eared page. She sat back down against his chest with a pouty hmph. "You're mean," She complained.

"I know, you're so terribly mistreated. Want me to finish this chapter?"

Everyone else is walking ahead of us on the trail. No one's going to notice if I gently pull back his waistband. Not that they don't know he's wearing a pull-up. "Or did you...oh, yeah. You did go in your padding, didn't you?"

He kind of half-smiles, hands twisting together by his face. "It was an accident..." he starts, but trails off. Both of us know he's not going to be able to get away with lying.

"It's okay. I could tell you needed to poop when we were at the store."

He squirms away from me, covering his face with his hands.

"What? It's not like anyone else noticed. It's just easy for me to tell because I know you so well. You were doing that little thing where you squeeze your hands into fists. And you looked so tense."

We're pretty far behind the group now. Our friend Brian turns around and pauses, waiting for us to catch up. I swat baby’s bottom.

"Is it sticky? Do you need to get cleaned up soon?"

He shakes his head. "I need to go more first."

"Really? You know, you always..." We're catching up with our friend.

"Everything good?" he asks.

"Yeah, thanks for waiting for us." I wonder if he suspects what's going on. By his expression and the way his eyes linger on Joey's crotch, he might.

The group pauses at a sign about the different birds in the forest. I glance over at baby and see that he’s tensed up, hands balled into fists again. I reach out and rub his bottom.

“Are you gonna leak?” I ask quietly in his ear.

He shakes his head, as if to say he doesn’t want me to ask him about it in front of the group. Everybody else has started moving again but we wait a second so that he can finish. We start off, trailing a little behind again.

“I always thought you took so long in the potty because you were going on your phone or something,” I say, reaching up and ruffling his hair. His face looks so pretty in the dappled shade of the trees. “But you still take a long time when you have a diaper on. Or a pull-up.”

He looks away, kind of smiling and blushing again.

“You know you aren’t really meant to do that in pull-ups, right? You remember that?”

“I remember…” he mumbles.

“But you went in your pull-up. You went in the bathroom and made it to the stall, like you were going to use the potty. All the other boys went in the potty properly. But Jojo decided to go in his pants, huh? Don’t shake your head, baby. I know it wasn’t an accident.”

“I just realized I didn’t wanna go in the toilet. And I knew you’d take care of me if I…”

We’re almost caught up to the group. “I’ll take care of you when we stop, okay?”

We’ve reached a fork in the trail and start heading down a path through the meadow.

“This is a good spot,” says Lacey, and the boys help her unfold the picnic blanket.

“Can I have the towel I put in your bag?” I ask, and Lacey nods and passes it to me. “Great, thanks. Joey and I are going to go behind those trees over there,” I say, pointing. “Don’t wait for us to start eating.”

I think everybody knows what’s going on. We walk over to the trees and I check the ground for poison oak or any other danger and spread out the towel. He takes off his backpack.

“Do you just have pull-ups in here? Oh, nope, you packed a diaper. Good.”

“I’m not sure I need a diaper…” He sits down on the towel and leans back on his elbows.

“What’s that, silly? Of course you need a diaper today. You packed one for yourself.”

He smiles and rubs his hand across his lips.

“Was this your plan the whole time? Pack a diaper in your backpack, go potty in your pants, and have Mommy clean you up and diaper you?”

He smiles bigger. “Maybe a little bit…”

“Then don’t be silly and tell me you don’t want it.” I kneel down and lean over him, grabbing one of his hands and pushing it back onto the towel next to his head. “Do you need kisses?”

He nods. I lean down and feel his nose squish against my face as I find his lips. “I let you get away with so much,” I tell him.

“I know.” I start to straighten up and he raises his head off the towel, trying to keep his lips locked with mine.

“That’s enough,” I tell him, pressing a finger to his mouth. “You’re so greedy.”

He rubs a hand over his face again. I look down and inspect his pants.

“You wet your pants a little bit. Let me guess. Did you bring an extra change of pants, too?”

He nods, looking sheepish.

“Aww…” I unbutton his pants and he helps me pull them off. His pull-up is drenched and stained. “Baby. You destroyed this.”

He’s sucking on two fingers.

“Tell me what you did,” I say, ripping open one side of the pull-up and then the other.

“I went in the bathroom with the other guys. Everybody went to the urinals except me and Brian. There were two stalls so Brian went in one stall and I went in the other one. I looked at the toilet and thought ‘nope’, and I squatted down and I pooped in my diaper…”

“How did it feel?”

“Good…” he says. His legs are starting to squirm and I grab one of his thighs to hold it steady while I coax the pull-up out from under him. It’s so messy. I search his backpack for a ziploc bag. “It was kind of hard at first and the pull-up made it right against my bottom…”

I put the bagged, messy, stinky pull-up to the side. “Let’s do wipes. Keep talking. What happened next?”

“I pooped a lot but I knew I had to go more. It still felt kind of heavy in my stomach while I was washing my hands. I wasn’t sure if the other guys knew I went or not. Everyone was just acting normal when we left, but I could feel it swinging under me a little bit.”

“Uh-huh…and you didn’t tell Mommy because…”

“I didn’t wanna. I like it better when she notices on her own…”

“Yeah, and I did notice. I noticed you had to poop and then I noticed that you were stinky.” I’m almost finished wiping him. I have another ziploc bag ready for all the dirty wipes. “Did you bring the soap and the water bottle?”

He nods. “It’s in the backpack, too.”

“Good, that means I can wash my hands properly after this. I’m going to need to. You got really messy.”

“I know…” Now one of his hands is under his shirt, playing with his nipple.

“What are you doing? Does that feel nice?”

“Mm…maybe.”

I brush my fingertips over his erection and he wiggles on the mat. “Does that feel nice?”

“Mmhm…and the sun feels nice on my face…”

“Silly. I think getting your penis touched feels better than the warm sun.”

“It’s a good combination…” I wrap my hand all the way around him and he lets out a little desperate noise in his throat.

I lean up to kiss him again.

“We’re going to be late to the picnic if you…” He cuts himself off with another little groan as I start to stroke up and down.

“What? Are you telling me you don’t want to cum right now?”

He shakes his head. “No, no, I didn’t…mm…”