my writing, mostly

i figured i use this blog enough to merit writing one of these.

im fin! im a 23 year old university student who fate decided would be into cgl/abdl. i'd describe myself as a switch but more or less all the writing here is from a more dominant headspace(sorry in advance to the fans).

11. How many strikes can a little get away with in underwear or pull-ups before they need to be diapered?

I think one strike in underwear gets you into protection. On the other hand, pull-ups are supposed to be for when you have smaller accidents, so I think maybe a 3 strike policy is best. If you leak, though, fast lane to diapers.

6. Do you have any ABDL-related icks?

Maybe not an "ick" per se, but I'm not super fond of regression that is overtly cruel or sadistic. I like it when regression is for the little's own good, or at least a justifiable punishment, rather than something the dom is doing because they just feel like it.

7. Are you more of a gentle dom or do you enjoy dominating in harsher ways?

Absolutely more gentle. For me domming is more about having someone in my care than in my power. I am not totally against being harsher, but it's not my main vibe. I'm too much of a softie, I think.

15.Do you prefer a bratty or obedient little?

3. Should littles wear be forced to wear diapers or do you prefer it if they wear because they want to?

Ooooh, there's nuance here for me. I think I like wearing with gentle coercion. Like the little doesn't want to admit it, but they definitely need/get comfort from their diapers and the CG is not letting them pretend otherwise.

5. Do you think accidents in padding or clothing are cuter?

Definitely padding. I worry about the cleanup with clothing, and an accident in padding means you win the argument with the little who was insisting they didn't need it five minutes earlier.

8.How much should a little help out(by cleaning up, getting out changing supplies, doing chores, making dinner, etc)?

I like taking care of housework even when there's no kink dynamic involved, so I'd probably shoulder most of it. But I think it'd be cute to give them ridiculously small tasks and then praise them effusively for completing them, kind of like a real toddler. Like wow, what a big girl, you managed to set the table all by yourself!

9.What's your favourite way to tease a little or make them blush?

She checked her phone. It was 8:45. "Are you serious?"

"What, about bedtime? Of course. It's a very serious matter." He turned to head into their bedroom. "I'm going to grab your jammies. Can you be a big girl for me and brush your teeth by yourself?"

It looked like he was. For the past week, he'd just been making up an earlier and earlier "bedtimes" for her and waiting to see if she'd crack. "It's barely even dark out!" She protested, pointing out the window at the soft pink sky.

"We're not having this argument tonight." He stated. "I'm going to go get your jammies, and if your teeth aren't brushed when I come back out, we're going to have a conversation. Are we clear?"

"....whatever..." She mumbled.

"I love the enthusiasm," He quipped as he ducked into their bedroom. She wasn't a fan of early bedtimes, but she was even less a fan of corner time, so she, to her own chagrin, went and brushed her teeth. Midway through, he came into the bathroom to check up on her, her pajamas slung under his arm. He chose the frilly pink nightie with the big smiling unicorn on it. Barf.

He gave her a proud squeeze on the shoulder as she finished brushing her teeth. "Look at you, doing it all by yourself! Such a big girl." He praised her. "Okay, let's get your jammies on. Arms up, honey."

"I can get changed myself, too!" She shoved the nightie away as if it was radioactive. “And I am not putting that on.”

"I'm sure you can, dear," He said in the sort of tone you use on a child trying to tie their shoes on their own for the first time. "Can we put our arms up? Can you show me what a good listener you are?" He started trying to pull her sweater off, but she fussed and squirmed away.

"Honey, can you please-"

"No, I am not going to just-"

"Just hold still, and-"

"You're treating me like a child, and-"

"Excuse me!" He suddenly raised his voice. "You had better start behaving yourself right now, or you are not going to like what comes next." That got her stock still. She obediently raised her arms up. "Fine..." She murmured.

"Thank you," He said, and pulled her sweater up and over her shoulders. "See how much easier things are when we work together? It doesn't all have to be tantrums and fussing." He praised as he finished undressing her."

"I wasn't having a tantrum..." She mumbled, discontentedly crossing her arms in front of her chest to retain a hint of modesty. "Of course you weren't. Step in, honey." He extended a pair of pull-ups in front of her. She blanched. "You said I didn't have to wear these earlier!" Despite her protests, she still stepped through the leg holes.

"I said you didn't have to wear them during the day," He clarified as he pulled the garment up her legs. She barely had time to register the soft, puffy feeling before he pulled the pink nightie over her head. "But we still don't want to take any chances with little night-time accidents, do we?"

Her face flushed with indignation as he took her hand and started leading her towards the bedroom. As much as she didn't want to admit it, she wasn't entirely confident in staying dry the whole night. She wanted to sulkily stare down at the ground, but doing so just led her to make eye contact with the smiling unicorn on the front of the nightie. She decided to give voice to her discontentment. "This whole production is ridiculous," She proclaimed.

"I know, honey."

"I'm a grown woman. I don't need you to do this!"

"Sure you are, sweetheart,"

"Are you even listening to me!?"

He turned back to her with a warm, tired smile. "Of course I am, honey. I always do," He assured her. "And I love that you have such an active imagination. But we have this same conversation every night, and if we don't get you to bed soon, you're going to be all over-tired and cranky tomorrow. We can play pretend in the morning, alright?"

"Oh my god!" She groaned. "I'm not...you're so...ugh, whatever!" She kept following him, but stomped her feet as she walked in an act of daring civil disobedience. When they reached their room, he crouched and switched on a small nightlight. "I don't need that," She grumbled as he stood back up.

"Oh? My mistake. I'll turn it off," He went to crouch back down, but she grabbed his arm. "No, it's fine. Uh...you can just leave it."

"Ah. Well, that's very kind of you, saving me the trip down." He said, before scooping her up and planting her on his hip. "Hey! Put me down!" She fussed. He, obviously, didn't listen. Instead, he carried her over to the bed, pulled back the covers, and softly laid her down. Her protests became slightly more muted as he pulled up the covers, settling them around her chin, and softly ruffled her hair. "Alright, love. Sweet dreams. See you tomorrow. Call me if you need anything, alright?"

She grabbed onto his hand as he tried to pull away. "Wait..." She said, in a much quieter, less strident voice than before. "You promised we could read a bit if I was good today."

"I do remember that. But there was another condition. Do you remember what it was?"

"Umm...hmmm..." She squirmed a little bit.

"You promised you would be good, and you wouldn't give me any fuss about bedtime. Did you keep your promise?"

"Well...I didn't fuss a lot...and I had a really long day at work..."

He gave her a look that plainly said that he wasn't convinced.

"Come on, please? Only five minutes? I'll be really good tomorrow, I promise." She extended a pinkie to show how serious she was.

He thought for a moment, before completing the pinkie swear. "Alright, move over." She fought to keep the grin off her face as she sidled over to make room for him. He slid beneath the covers, and she flopped onto his chest, nestling her head in the crook of his neck. "I think I indulge you much more than I should," He said as he picked up the book from their bedside table. "We're going to have a conversation about your behaviour tomorrow,"

"Mmmhmm..." She sleepily agreed as he cracked the book open. After much more than five minutes of reading, he set the book onto the bedside table and went to get up. Her tranquil, half-asleep face twitched into a soft frown as she tightened her arms around his neck. "Nooo..." She quietly protested.

"No? No, what?" He asked.

"You...you hafta stay." She whined.

"Oh, I do? When was that passed into law?"

He was teasing her again. She managed to wrench her eyes open and give him a look. "You...mmm..." She was interrupted by a pressing yawn. "You hafta stay until I fall asleep. It's the rules."

"Oh, the rules. How could I forget?" He ran a hand through her hair. "I think my big girl just wants a little extra attention. Maybe she's not as big as she thought,"

"Am too!" She complained. "Just...just stay a little more."

"Alright. But you're going to be on your best behaviour tomorrow, agreed?"

"Wait, wait, wait!" She stepped out of the bathroom, her hands preoccupied by pulling her hair back into a ponytail. "I literally need five more minutes. I'm almost ready."

"Is this the same five minutes you needed half an hour ago?"

"Okay, okay, point taken! Just let me put my hair back and we can go," She ducked back into the bathroom. He heard a series of drawers hurriedly opening and closing, and 30 seconds later, she emerged fully dressed for the night out. "Ta-da!" She said, punctuating the reveal with jazz hands. "Pretty good, right?"

"You look amazing. That's the dress you got last weekend, right?" She nodded with a grin. "Alright, perfect, I'll pull the car around. You've got a pullup on, right?"

Her grin became slightly more sheepish. "Ah, yeah, about that...I thought that since I hadn't had an accident all week, I could probably just...you know...wear panties tonight."

He stopped putting his shoes on and gave her an incredibly unimpressed look. "Seriously? Come on, we agreed you always wear protection when you're going to drink, just in case."

"I knowwww....But we're already so late, and it takes, like, forever to get these boots on and off...let's just leave! It'll probably be fine."

Ah, so that's why she took so long to get ready. "Yeah, nice try. Points for creativity, too. Go change."

"Come on...We're going to be, like, half an hour late if I do..." She wheedled. He didn't budge. "Ugh. Fine!" She acquiesced, with exaggerated disappointment. "But I personally think you're being completely unreasonable."

He shrugged. "I personally think it's better not to ruin a $150 dress by peeing in it."

"I wouldn't have done that!" She denied hotly, face flushing, as she stomped off to the bedroom.

====

They arrived at the bar dead last, more than 15 minutes after everyone else. Given he was typically the group's "punctuality Nazi"(a title he, personally, thought was a slight overstatement), everyone thought it was hilarious. When one of his friends asked what they got held up by, all he initially said was, "Well, it's a funny story...". He let it hang long enough to make her sweat before launching into a made-up story about accidentally putting his keys away at the back of the cutlery drawer. She breathed a sigh of relief, before realizing she'd been teased and giving him a subtle kick under the table.

Both of them made their way to the bar, bought drinks, and split off to mingle individually. He posted up with his buddies at the end of the bar, while her friends had ended up clustering near the pool table. He glanced over at her from time to time, just to keep an eye out, and couldn't help but notice empty glasses piling up near her end of the table at an impressive speed. During a break in the conversation, he walked up behind her and got her attention with a hand on her shoulder.

"What's up?" She asked, turning her head around.

"Nothing urgent. I just wanted to check if you maybe needed to go to the bathroom?" He pointed out the cluster of empty glasses.

"Oh my gosh!" She gasped, clearly more than a little drunk already. "I didn't even realize! I almost got a frowny-face on my potty chart!" She mocked.

"I'll take that as a no?" He guessed.

She gave him a look. "Listen, I know I'm wearing...you know.." She lowered her voice. "...that..." She looked around the table to make sure nobody was listening in before returning to full volume. "But I'm an adult woman. I can deal with taking myself to the bathroom, okay? Just relax and have fun. You don't need to mother me constantly."

He shrugged. "Sure, whatever you say. Just figured we should be careful." He turned and went back to his seat at the bar, but couldn't help but notice a minute later when she hurriedly excused herself from the table, and tottered off to the bathroom as quickly as she could while pressing one hand down onto her crotch. She noticed him watching her, and he gave an encouraging thumbs-up, which she returned with a middle finger. Classy.

When she came out of the bathroom, she took a detour over to his spot by the bar. He greeted her with a self-satisfied shit-eating grin. "Make it to the potty okay?" He asked.

"Bite me." She responded. "Just wanted to let you know that I am still completely dry. Proving, once again, that you are always wrong and I am always right about everything."

"Completely? I don't know, seemed like a close call to me..." He instinctively reached forward to check her, but she batted his hand away. "Don't!" She hissed quickly. "Uh...you can't just grab my crotch in the middle of a bar. People are going to think we're perverts!" She hastily added.

He turned and looked around the crowded bar. Not a single soul was paying them even a shred of attention. "Okay, well, anyways," She said, "Good talk. Come find me when you want to leave. Okay, bye! Love you!" She turned and walked away.

======

He was finishing up a round with a friend around 2 AM when she came over and shook his shoulder. He turned around to see her gingerly massaging her forehead, staring at him with a sad-puppy look. "Everything okay?" He asked as he stood up, already knowing the answer.

"Uuuugghhh!!!" She groaned as she collapsed into him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I had way too much to drink."

He bemusedly wrapped an arm around her shoulders, the other giving her a comforting pat on the head. "That bad, huh?"

"Yes! I have such a headache...and my feet are killing me! Why did you let me come out in these boots?"

"Oh, yeah, what was I thinking? That one's completely on me."

She inaudibly grumbled something and squeezed onto him tighter. "Oh, you poor thing," He doted. "Should we get you home and into bed? Maybe I can read to you a little bit before we turn in?"

"Yes, please. I'd like that a lot," She nodded. "Um.....can you carry me back to the car? My feet are seriously in agony."

"Seriously? Can't you just take your boots off?"

"But I'm soooooo tired!" She complained. "Sooooooooooooooooo-"

"Okay, message received. I'll carry you." He cut her off.

"Yay! Thank you."

"You're very welcome. And look on the bright side. You didn't have an accident, right?"

She went quiet. "...uh..."

"Oh, honey."

"I'm sorry." She sniffed slightly. "It was only a small one earlier. But then I was laughing at a joke, and...you know..."

"It's okay. It's what they're for."

"...You're not mad?"

"Me? No, of course not. I know you have a little trouble sometimes."

"Do not!" She protested instinctlively.

"Mmm..." She mumbled, shifting in closer to him, seemingly already halfway asleep. The sound was muffled by the pacifier in her mouth, and nearly drowned out by the crinkling her diaper made as she squirmed a little. She'd recently been in pullups most days, so the diapers were only a preventative measure for bedtime.

"Want me to keep going?" She nodded enthusiastically. "Really? You seem distracted all of a sudden," He said, dog-earing a page in the book and setting it aside. "Do you need to go to the bathroom? Should we get up?"

"Nuh-huh," She shook her head resolutely. "Does that mean you don't need to go, or you don't want to get up?" He asked. "Nuh-uh," She reiterated, helpfully.

"Come on, can you use your words like we talked about?" He asked. That was met with another uncompromising head shake, followed by an incensed finger pointed at the closed book. "This is a big girl book, honey. We're only going to read it if you use your words like a big girl."

At that, she finally pulled out the pacifier. "I kind of need to go a little. But only a tiny bit. And we're at a good part. I can just go later." He shook his head. "Come on. I've read you a book every night for like three months. I know that by the time we finish this part you're going to be even sleepier, and then I'm going to have to drag you to the potty with you complaining the whole time. Let's go."

"But I'm so comfyyyyyyyy!" She lamented, cuddling into him more. "And I have to take off my jammies, and my diaper to go...it's so much work." He shrugged. "Well, it's better than...wait, are you peeing right now?"

If the sound wasn't enough to convince him, the devious smile on her face would've sealed the deal. "Now we can finish the story and you can change me after," She said cutely. "Good solution, right?"

He found himself at a brief loss for words. "I forgot what a brat you can be," He said, shaking his head as he reopened the book. "I hope you have fun wearing diapers for the rest of the week," That caused her smile to fall, and she sat up with a . "Um, what?" She balked. "I don't need them, though." She sat up quickly, grabbing his arm and shaking it a bit. "I only need pull-ups, remember? We agreed before. You can't change your mind now, that's not fair!"

"Well, that was what we decided then," He said. "But if you're just going to pee in your diaper because you don't want to get up, obviously you're not ready for pullups."

"But, but, um, but it's different!" She insisted, clearly trying to come up with some sort of convincing argument. "I didn't pee my pullups. It was a diaper. They're for peeing in. So it's totally okay!"

"Yeah, nice try. We'll have this conversation again in a week. If you behave yourself, that is." He pulled the book open back to the dog-eared page. She sat back down against his chest with a pouty hmph. "You're mean," She complained.

"I know, you're so terribly mistreated. Want me to finish this chapter?"

He closed the computer and leaned forward. "Oh, I'm the one who likes it, huh?" She rolled her eyes. "Yes, obviously! Only one of the people here is a total pervert, and it's not me." She said. He stood up and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in to plant a kiss on her forehead. "It's so selfless of you to cater to me so much. Especially how you put them on all by yourself these days, without me even asking," He praised. She glowered up at him. "Oh, and what about when you put them on when I'm not home? I guess you're just practicing, huh?"

"I have never done that in my entire life," She denied. "Neeeever?" He sang. "Okay, I literally did it twice, just to make sure I could get the tapes right! Are we going to watch TV or not?"

"Sorry, sorry. I'll drop it," He took her by the hand and led her into the living room, supporting her slightly as the diaper forced her to walk with an awkward waddle.

They both sat on the couch and settled into their familiar positions, him sitting upright, her lying down with her head resting on his leg. He reached down and gave her padded butt an approving pat. "You know, for someone who hates diapers so much, you sure look cute in them." He said.

"Don't patronize me. I look like a freak. Why couldn't you just be into feet or something?" She said.

"So fussy today," He observed offhandedly as he rubbed her head with one hand, using the other to flick through Netflix.

"Bite me," She grumbled, flipping him off. He just grinned.

They sat in silence for a few seconds as he flicked onto the show they were watching. "Tell you what," He said. "Let's make a little wager." She flipped onto her back and looked up at him with suspicion. "If you can stay dry until the end of this episode, I'll refrain from making any more annoying comments about how cute your diapers are, or how much you obviously like wearing them, or how well they suit you, anything like that,"

"Okay, first of all, I do not like wearing them. Second of all, what happens if I can't?" She asked. "Not that I will. Obviously I can hold it for an hour." She hastily added.

"Hmmm...I dunno. Nothing, really. I guess it'll be its own satisfaction," He shrugged. She thought for a second. Seemed like a pretty sweet deal. She nodded.

"Perfect," He grinned. "Wait there, I'll be right back." He shifted her head off his thigh and onto the couch cushion, heading into the kitchen. She stared after him with a mix of curiosity and suspicion, suspicion which was confirmed when he returned holding a bottle full of apple juice. "Oh, yeah, no way. Nice try." She shook her head.

He sat back down, lifting her head back onto his thigh. "Come on. You and I both know you need to hydrate. It's dangerous if babies don't get their fluids."

"How about I hydrate your fucking-MMPH!" He took advantage of her open mouth to jam in the bottle and give it a small squeeze, filling her cheeks with juice. Her options were either to swallow or spit it all out all over both of them, and the couch. She opted for the first one, accompanied with an annoyed glare directed up at him. He responded with a shit-eating grin. "What's the face for, huh? I thought apple juice was your favourite."

She emptied the bottle, and he pulled it away and placed it on the side table. "I'm going to kill you in your sleep tonight," She informed him as she grabbed the remote, switching their show on. "Enjoy your final eight hours of life."

It was about thirty minutes into the episode that she felt the pressure in her bladder. She shifted slightly. "Move. I have to get up."

He, predictably, did not move. His hand stayed draped over her shoulder. "Why? You look so comfortable."

"I have to pee, genius. Let me up."

He lifted his hand up to her head and slowly started started to stroke her hair. Fuck, he knew she loved that. "There's only twenty more minutes. You can hold it, right?" She couldn't help herself from melting into him a little bit. "I should still go..." She said, more trying to convince herself than him. "Aw, have a little self-confidence. I'm sure it can wait a bit longer."

"Mmmm..." She didn't need much more convincing than that. She brought her arms up and wrapped them around his leg, hugging it like a pillow. "Can you scratch my head a bit?" She asked. He smiled. "Yeah, of course."

The pressure in her bladder built more and more, but it felt distant to her, unimportant. Eventually, as the episode entered its final ten minutes, her body sent her an ultimatum. She needed to go to the bathroom now. But he was right. She was comfortable.

She thought about using her diaper, but if she did, she knew he'd tease her for it...for just peeing her diaper like a baby. The thought made her heart race a little. And then he'd take her into their bedroom, lay her down, fuss over her, change her into another one...okay, now her heart was racing a lot. She felt a lump of tension in her throat as she weighed her options. She let go into her diaper.

He noticed the sound almost immediately and looked down at her. She stared up like a deer in the headlights. "Oh, dear," He tutted. "Not quite ready for the potty, huh? That's okay," She instantly broke her gaze away and buried her face in the side of his leg, mostly to hide how red it was. "SHUT UP!" She half-barked, half-whined. He reached down and rubbed comforting circles on her back. "Don't get all worked up about it, love. You just had a little accident, that's all."

"I did not!" She denied hotly.

"Oh, it was on purpose? Were you jealous I had all my attention on the show and not you?"

"New pants?" He looked away for a second. "Nice try. I literally took you shopping last weekend."

"No, dumbass!" She lightly hit his arm. "A new...you know..."

His face split into a small grin. "Oh, I think I do know. But remember what we talked about? You have to be very specific. Otherwise, I can't be certain."

She scowled at him. "Alright, I..." She took a deep breath, breaking eye contact to begin intently studying the carpet. "I peed my diaper...." She said, in a significantly quieter voice than before.

"Ah, I thought so. Let's sort that out, shall we?" He said, reaching for the remote and paused the movie. He rolled out the changing mat and gave it a small pat. "C'mon, lie down."

She complied, still refusing to make eye contact and with her face contorted into what an uncharitable observer could call a "pout". She shimmied her pants off and lay down in front of him, legs half-bent, arms sternly crossed. She hated this part. Lying down on the ground, with him looming over her, it always made her feel so...babyish.

He ripped the diaper open and began cleaning her up, but didn't take long to notice her mood. "Awww, is someone embarrassed?" He teased, giving her a small pat on the stomach. "Embarrassed she's all-grown-up and still can't get to the potty by herself?"

"I obviously can..." She grumbled.

"Oh really? Then why don't you? Is it too scaaary? Or do you just like peeing yourself too much?"

"I...you...argh!" She brought her hands up over her face in a combination of frustration and embarrassment. "Can you just finish changing me?"

"Of course. Wouldn't want you making a mess on the carpet or anything," He quipped, closing the diaper up. He moved a hand to the front of the diaper and began gently rubbing it, massaging overtop of the crotch.

"What are you...?" She murmured, even though she knew exactly what he was doing.

"How's that feel, hmm? Good?" He asked quietly, his other hand coming up to move her hair out of her face.

"No...it...it's not..." She had trouble putting words together, but her hips started rocking, grinding up against his hand.

"Oh. Well, if it doesn't feel good, I'll stop." He nodded, taking his hand off of her diaper. She felt like she'd been splashed with ice water. "Let's go finish the movie!"

"Wait..hey, wait!" She grabbed his hand as he went to pull it away. She knew exactly what he wanted. That innocent face was the one he pulled when he thought she was right in the palm of his hand. He was right, of course, but that didn't make it any less insulting. "You can...you can keep doing it." She told him.

He feigned confusion. "Keep doing what?"

"Rubbing...you know...rubbing my diaper."

"Oh, so it does feel good?"

Her face flushed even more. "Yes, it...it does. I really like it. Keep going, please." She mumbled as she pulled his hand back to the front of her diaper.