self taught criticisms

the most perfect use of limited series

truly the art of keeping it short and chaotic

literally what did i just watch

the first episode set up how this would play out yet i am stunned at the finale

if you're debating watching this watch it

if you're looking to not commit to a long running show but still want the dimension, watch this

what the fuck just watch

and finally...shout out to that one scene in ANTZ

And honestly they should have made more movies, I became a little invested

6. Great Fairy Adventure

My deepest apology to my son, as this is his favorite, but this Tinkerbell saga is EMOJI MOVIE tier and I'm tired of pretending it's not. The main theme of this movie is a Disney classic, child neglect and not listening to your kids. The trope is overdone. Lizzy's voice is nails on a chalkboard, the casting of Michael Sheen is chaotic??? This movie is the bane of my existence. However, Lizzy deserves credit for her fairy house designs, Missy has a bright architectural career waiting for her if she wishes.

5. Lost Treasure

A movie where Tink displays pure BRAT behavior. This would have ranked lower, it probably should have, but Jesse McCartney is a major role, and my 2007 self could never make him a bottom tier. Alternative title for this movie: Tink needs a Xanax, maybe some PTO.

4. Tinkerbell

Mediocre backstory but honestly such a great example of not changing who you are. I dig it, it's a little quirky albeit not a memorable experience. It can exist.

3. Pirate Fairy

This is Captain Hook's backstory but also clearly queer coded fae are involved and I live for this. There's something vaguely bisexual about this movie. I cry everytime they play Natasha Bedingfield's Weightless in this movie. Again, storyline is a little murky, but cute kawaii crocodile babies make up for it for me.

2. Secret of the Wings

Lucy Hale's most memorable role next to PLL. I absolutely adored this movie. My child, however, does not, and I often find me asking him to watch it more than he asks me. This movie doesn't get the respect it deserves and we even explore a fairy love story? Tink quite literally says "FUCK THE MAN" in this movie, and it's a great lesson for kids to question authority (like this reads as sarcasm but really it's not).

1. Neverbeast

This book isn't as radical as it claims but is the perfect introductory to feminism for your boomer parents who are trying to be more progressive in a modern world.

Excellent concept, a grueling execution. Think of the executioner who has to take a few chops to have your head rolling off your twitching body.

This is a prime example of full length novels that should have stayed a short story or novella. There is POWER in a well executed short that gets lost in a drawn out quota for a publisher's satisfaction.

Our main character is too forgiving, at best, leaving little resolve, or rather resolve that happens with the simplest ease.

This book made me want to dragon from the rage of falling flat.

Truly, cannot emphasize enough that the idea behind this book was brilliant, but was played safe and felt like much of the storyline was almost an ad lib to fill in the blanks.

Cover art is 11/10, illustrator needs a bonus.

I read this book at a point in reproductive health history that should have shaken me yet it fell flat.

"The dragon was the biggest thing I had ever seen. It sat in a lawn chair." Babes, inconceivable imagery.

No tea, no shade, but the parallel between men writing female characters and straights trying queer romance is like...obvious.

So now the pressing question...do I recommend this read?

If you're over 50 and were too afraid to burn your bra in the day, yeah. This is diet feminism at best that could have been a golden standard if not stretched for a full length epic. The majority of the book felt unnecessary, backstory that had no conclusion or reason to be told.

from the perspective of a theater kid...

this movie failed in several ways that were absolutely unnecessary because truly this movie could have been as big of a hit as the broadway production

the first being casting of James corden and rebel Wilson, i demand a public apology

the second being the notoriously chaotic cgi. genuinely if they stuck to the original costuming it could have been a masterpiece. the set is remarkable, and i would have liked a more organic cat.

i truly think so many movies flop due to hyper cgi effects and it is the downfall of cinema, sorry (i also hated avatar for this reason)

no one knows the plot to cats. no true fan of this tries to explain it. so WHY did the movie producers try to make a storyline??

everyone knows alw had to be tripping sack while reading ts elliot and this is how the musical came to be. please don't try to explain it, it's an experience not a plot.

jennifer hudson carried this movie (honorable mentions jason derulo, laurie davidson, francesca hayward)

and now a few words from my partner...

"i think i would rather floss my teeth with pipe cleaner."

"this is the worst movie i've ever seen and i've seen rubber."

"humanity should not have survived this long and this is the proof."

"it wasn't your childhood trauma history that shaped you. it was your childhood obsession with this musical. you probably should have been bullied more."

final words...

please do yourself a favor and watch the 1989 broadway recording if you want to deep dive into cats...i swear your local goodwill will always have one hiding in the corners of a vhs bin.

no stars, only hair balls. this seemed like an expensive cop out.

andrew lloyd weber trying to call his production if cinderella a disaster when this movie lives on in his legacy is laughable, but the deeper you dive into his legacy, the more you'll find yourself in hysterics.

however i would have loved to see this rebranded as a horror musical.

1. Eddie is still alive and the theory that he will become Vecna's right hand to betray him to be his demise just like a real campaign is true. We worried for nothing, like we did with Hopper for a minute in season three. This is what we get for doubting great characters.

i think often of the days of vhs tapes, the interior of my local blockbuster, and the hope that you weren't going to destroy a video in the player when you rewind your favorite movie for the thousandth time. i am a child of the 90s, overwhelmed with the vibrancy of neons the 80s provided before i was even a thought, resentful of the duran duran stans as a nestle myself back into a thrifted, oversized flannel + discuss how kurt cobain is real music, not the haunting of synth beats from yesteryear.

yet i would be a bubbling fool if i lied to you and said i don't anxiously anticipate the resurgence of acid wash denim and a kate bush song.

.

.

i struggle often with shows such as stranger things, that pack so much information into a season only to reappear years later to follow up on the story, due to short term memory loss. because of this, i have had difficulty following the storyline, with limited time in my life to dedicate to a rewatch.

yet part one of season four sunk its grip into me and i was engulfed.

i was finally getting the hype, finding a sense of community within online spaces shitposting memes of the show. i stayed up until 4am to watch season four episode seven, cranking away on a knitting machine in absolute awe.

the next day awakening to the news of volume two's release was the equivalent to being a child of christmas morning, still believing in the magic of the day and feeling overwhelmed with gifts unexpected and new.

yet, after my watchthrough, i feel this is the year i discovered that santa isn't real and my world is turning gray once more.

the issues i have with vol ii

why, this late into the series, are we introducing characters that are instant fan favorites, only to slaughter them? it feels like a laziness has set in the writers room. perhaps all character development efforts have been poured into steve and that's enough for them.

the inherent patriotism of the show feels more like propaganda for the united states than anything else. i want to unravel this, expose what's hiding behind the mask of fourth of july fireworks.

the only time we see queer characters it's as a plot device for hetero storylines. i truly hope this is revisited in stranger things 5.

eleven's plots always seem to me like a horse learning to walk. it's awkward and doesn't appear to be well thought out. i have been wrong before, but i am let down the more they develop her plots.

the vecna scenes (specifically in the sacrifice scenes) seemed overtly sexual to me. this was uncomfortable, especially with lingering fingers on faces. i can't shake that the direction of these scenes were intentional and i'm curious as to why.

i want more screen time of will and less of mike, PLEASE.

i am concerned that there is a CSA storyline developing for (redacted) with their flashback scenes that is being used as plot device, which is a trope all too often in media.

the lean in to the negative stereotype of stoners when argyle has often saved everyone's ass in moments of despair.

in addition, the skating around of eleven's traumas, especially regarding family. with how long these episodes were they couldn't discuss the dichotomy of el x mama more?

i did, however, appreciate...

the accurate representation of the sweethearts metal heads are.

hopper × joyce

the natural/organic way the subtle love triangle(s?) have developed. they feel human.

the visuals were masterful. the body split in half in vecna's house? insanity.

the revitalization of the kate bush anthem/remix. that was one of the best scenes this show has ever pulled off.

the development of lucas x max. gorgeous storytelling.

robin's interactions with literally anyone. i adore her.

steve's continous character development.

my overall rating of volume ii...

i have toyed with the question of "was having a second part of the season worth it?" and i'm leaning with a no. it feels like a marketing ploy to gain more viewers and it's not one i appreciated. the last two episodes of stranger things 4 could have been broken up over several, continous with the season. the leading season has a lot to live up to and has excellent set up, but this isn't the titanic two set vhs box. it didn't need to be split in two.

i have never been so relieved to hear someone say "bitchin"

(vol ii full review coming later)