hush

“And I mean, Steve was….from the beginning, we wanted him on a collision course with Billy.” - Matt Duffer

bonus:

nancy wheeler: *reacts somewhat emotionally because she can’t even tell her best friend’s parents what happened and they’re SELLING THEIR HOUSE to try to find their daughter because of their false hope*

nancy wheeler: *has a hard time feeling deeply connected with her loving boyfriend, not because of any fault of his, but because she’s SIXTEEN, and she’s dealing with A Lot Of Shit*

nancy wheeler: *naturally gravitates towards Jonathan who understands a similar sort of loss and stood by her side while they were trying to hunt the monster that took her best friend (and his brother)*

nancy wheeler: *handles her emotion with anger and focus on a cause instead of dealing with it head on because she is a T E E N A G E R and would rather burn Hawkins Lab to the ground by exposing them to the world than work through her complicated loss*

but somehow we’ve come full circle and there are people who legit defend their right to be anti-recovery there are people who don’t want to get better and spread the idea that you can’t get better as if it’s gospel and it’s fucking frightening to me bc nobody seems to want to say “hey? this is toxic and untrue and is your disease speaking, and it’s not something you should accept.”

and i feel like every recovery post gets about 500 of these people saying “this isn’t something that will work” “cool karen i’m depressed” “maybe it worked for you but it won’t work for other people” and that’s… just… im so sorry if you’re 15. i’m sorry if you’re in high school and watching grown adults tell you it doesn’t get better. that nobody says that with time and help and patience the world stops being so heavy, that accepting your illness as a fact is one thing but accepting it as the only way to be is just wrong, that you can learn to live with it and still find some degree of “happy”…. if i had seen this shit back when i was … oh god starting at 12 when i was already self-harming …. i think i’d have actually honest-to-god killed myself. not a joke, not a funny tumblr punchline, i would have actually just killed myself. 

i’m saying this right here and right now to the adults on this site. if you for any reason shoot down positivity that’s causing no harm - you might have indirectly worsened someone else’s condition, and you should try and do better in the future. if you find it necessary to tell people “recovery is a lie”, you need to do better. i know everyone has different circumstances, but i also know that mental illness behaves in such a way that everyone thinks they can’t recover.  if you feel like you should be spreading the Word Of Relapse, you are causing toxic language to be normalized and you need to do better. 

im team “cool karen ive got depression and that means i’m going to try this because i’ve got to try something” i’m team “romanticize recovery” i’m team “it isn’t working now but it might in the future and it’s worth staying to find out” im team “hey this didn’t work for me but it might help somebody else out”

me, dissociating: 

ALSO, he came out as bisexual/‘not interested in labels’ like a decade ago, but much more recently he came out as gay, so he’s gay! his latest album, No Place In Heaven, is almost completely about being gay. it’s got a song abt his sexuality and his religion, a song abt pining for your straight best friend, a song abt the music world that includes the lyrics “where have all the gay guys gone?”, a song abt gay and lesbian solidarity, a song abt heterosexual expectations from family, and two songs that are just abt being super ridiculously in love w your partner.