Multiple Zangooses

i don't ship them i just think they could get ragebaited into having sex with each other

“Jesus Shaves”

i don't care what those tiktok and instagram influencers tell you, have three meals a day!!! have a snack!! have that sweet treat!! have food that makes you feel good!!! especially if you're a woman!! starving yourself to look "desirable" will only make you desirable to people who want you to stay malnourished forever. it's a cycle of misery!!

i wish i could reblog all the i hate sex posts because they’re terribly funny but unfortunately it’s just not true. i don’t hate sex. i’m literally thinking about it while i’m on the clock. on the clock? i wish i was on the. well. i shan’t say

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

i'm gonna be honest with you all i straight-up did not notice that the E in this picture was fucked up. i don't know what's going on here and i'm scared

you fucking suck at burger

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

hello, average tumblr user. your challenge is to name a canonically lesbian female character in the tags of this post. if you name a male character for any reason, you will be shot in the head. good luck.