who let me adult I can’t adult

bitches hate me for my earnest whimsy and my pathological degree of avoidant behavior

anybody else going through life feeling like a dog that wasn't socialized enough as a puppy

saying “can u not” to inanimate objects that are just following the laws of physics but in, like, inconvenient ways

dudes who are normal will be like im joker insane but women who have not felt real since they were seven will be like im average normal

sometimes i’m like “what am i so scared of?” and then remember that everything is so scary

I’m simultaneously the most obsessive most detached girl in the world

there's something comforting about a middle aged man reassuring you like where is my father i guess this will do

no I will not be normal about it I think you need to try being weird about it

the problem with musicians is how they're always touring their latest album instead of like their critically hated second album from 2009 which is the one i'm obsessed with

No rizz just fear of abandonment

Having someone match your wit or your weirdness without hesitation is actually so fucking comforting and fun.

my wife can stab me a little bit i dont care