Marooned on Earth: My life stranded with monkeys

No, they didn't push me back into the sea.

I told them to tell others that so I could hide my escape pod until I could find where my starship crash landed. That's also why I was looking to the horizon and stayed put that morning. I was looking for bluish-white smoke. Spotted it near the base of Mount Fuji.

So the story is accurate. This guy does a pretty good job assuming what happened based on the stories. Nice approximation about what was going on.

What was in the box?

It contained no head. It did contain my survival tools. I wasn't about to let these folks rummage through, find my blaster and accidentally blow a hole through someone or something. Some of those tools are pretty dangerous too, if used improperly.

Something like this...

Wood top? Yes. My starship is pretty lavish. It's Thrrasssi`aar wood from my homeworld. It's a swamp tree. Kinda like a Banyan tree.

I've told this story before. Found my ship, fixed it up and reattached my escape pod. I then flew it over to the ocean, because fuel was low after being vented before the crash. Remember the bluish-white smoke? A fully fueled starship would have been a nuke too soon. So I couldn't risk it. Once it was in the ocean, I sailed it to Alaska.

I spent a long time in Japan, almost a hundred years. Then when I got to Alaska, I met a hidden tribe of highly evolved Velociraptor descendants. I then trekked through Canada with them toward Toronto and later wound up in the old west. Coming down through to Colorado to New Mexico, I travelled about as a gunslinger for a bit. Later, I took up residence in New York after establishing myself some cash. Made more money. Lost some money. Established companies. Made more money. Lost more money. Moved to California eventually. Set up other companies... and that brings us to today where I now reside in the Midwest.

Yes, I did have a look of resignation on my face. I couldn't believe that here I was, once again, millions of years later... having crash landed again, marooned and stranded with monkeys.

Did Senator Lindsey Graham sacrifice himself to save Senator Mitch McConnell?

Lindsey: [jogging hard on treadmill] C'mon... C'mon! [checking blood pressure] Higher! Death: [poofs into existence] Woah, Lindsey! Hey buddy, what's goin' on here? You're not due for some time, man. Slow down, your blood pressure is through the roof! Lindsey: It's... Mitch. Haf... Haf... Must... Save. Mitch. Death: Dude, it's his time. You did all this to talk to me about sparing Mitch? You know I can't do that. Lindsey: No... Haf... Haf... Haf... Hngh... Take me. Death: What? Lindsey: Trade. Take me. Huff... haf... hnnnngh... Do it! Save. Mitch! We need Mitch! Death: Hold up. Hooooold up. Don't you think this is kinda insane? A bit excessive? I mean, dude is older than you. You've got time. A wife, a family, and Mitch... it's his time. Lindsey: Don't do it for me. HAF! HAF! HNNNghhh... Do it for 'merica! ... North Carolina ... it's a red state. But Mitch... Can't... lose... Kentucky. Martyr me, Death. Haaaah.... do it... for America! Death: A'iight then. [taps Lindsey on the nose] Boop. Lindsey: HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-[Heart explodes in his chest]-gggghhhh.... [thud, crash off treadmill] Death: Scratch Mitch's name off the list and write in Lindsey... Cause of death? Hmm. Patriotism.

The Liberal Lie

Ask any Liberal and they all say the same thing about Conservatives: They're only out to help the wealthy and corporations. The honest truth of the matter escapes them. The fact that Republicans are out there to help everyone become wealthy. The state prospers when everyone prospers.

Liberals do not understand this. They cannot comprehend that wealth redistribution makes everyone poor. They believe that a larger Government makes everything better. They cannot conceive that a larger government consumes more money destined for others and that it is too rigid, bureaucratic, and political to properly officiate what is best left to the citizens.

Personal responsibility is the cornerstone of our society in the United States. It's too easy for people to point fingers and blame others for their woes without considering that it's their fault for not getting a good education, believing they can become a rich and famous person on TV or in sports, rather than study and contribute to society. They blame others for being stuck in low end jobs by putting in minimal effort and expecting annual growth based on seniority alone rather than skill or being productive.

Liberals lie and say that workers are kept poor, overlooked for promotion to better jobs, replaced by technology, and as history demonstrates this has been proven untrue: They keep saying it. They pretend that votes matter for them but not for Conservatives. However, if one looks at each golden age of this country, the Republicans have done more to improve life for everyone. [This is demonstrated factually, look it up.] Though when Liberals are in charge, the world goes to shit.

Look around you, this, too, is demonstrated factually. The Republicans are doing their best to fix everything Biden fucked up in just four years. When you look at all the blue states, counties, and cities, you see decline everywhere. Crime, poverty, homelessness, governmental overreach, and above all else: Taxes.

Taxes, taxes, taxes.

They shout, "Tax the rich!" Which results in the wealthy leaving. And before a single cent has been captured by said tax, they're gone. But get this... the Democrats have already spent that money before they even had it with the full and insane expectation that the money would be there. They then have to take loans out to fill the gap and quietly tax the shit out of the lower income brackets through sales taxes, property taxes, inheritance taxes, and when estate taxes come in when someone dies -- Probate.

Yes, that's right. The wealthy can afford financial lawyers who help them shelter their properties and assets so that they survive to descendants -- but the poor can't. So what happens is that when a poor family does all the right things, saving money, buying a house, investing, and growing, but they don't know how to shelter their future with the thought that a will is sufficient to safely pass down what they own to their children... and they die only to leave their children with nothing because the Liberals tax the shit out of it at such a rate that the children can't afford to do more than sell everything off to pay the tax.

They're back where they started: Penniless.

The game is rigged, folks. It's rigged by Liberals, the very Democrats who espouse their siding with the working class. Did you ever think that they want to keep their working class right where they are, voting away for feel-good, sounds-good laws that don't work or actually require more taxes rather than help them become wealthy?

Republicans want the working class to stop being poor. They don't want Big Government because it stifles lives and opportunity. It eats and eats, and eats money to be so big. There's no profit in it.

A lean Government is agile, efficient, and lets people decide what they want to do with their money. So of course the Republicans want everyone to become wealthy -- because wealthy people make more money that a slim, lean Government doesn't require to be taxed so much to support everyone in getting wealthy. It means that more money goes to improve the lives of the impoverished by providing grants to get their children into top colleges. It means being open to writing a letter to a college on behalf of a poor family to demand answers as to why a top SAT scoring child didn't get selected.

More importantly: Quality of life improves, inflation lowers, and people have more choices, more options, with the ability to start small businesses of their own that won't immediately be taxed to death in the first year. Most new businesses fail in the first year because they are either mismanaged or can't afford the related taxes to remain in operation long enough to survive.

That's Democrat doin'.

So you see these big states with wealthy people fleeing high taxes. These places have put all their eggs in one basket that's dependent on those wealthy people's dollars flowing into coffers. When that money drops, where do you think they look to next?

You.

Taxation is a necessary evil, but it is theft. If the Government invested like corporations do, and operated only off their dividends, bonds, and sales of those investments, then there would be no need of taxation. We were almost there as a nation until the Democrats became Democratic Socialists. Oh, sorry, I mean Communists.

They're Communists now.

Remember kids: Robin Hood didn't steal from the rich to give to the poor. He stole from the Government's tax collectors to give back to the people.