Ctinalk, AZFell_Esquire Proprietor Of Good Omens

A few oversights made millennia ago, and suddenly we have a demon archangel on our hands.

Caution: I came up with and wrote this in the last few hours so potentially crackpot theory ahead. Apologies if this has been proposed before, it’s not one I’ve seen. And I’ve seen A LOT.

So supposedly the miracle Aziraphale and Crowley performed together was something only the mightiest of archangels could have done. Everyone assumes it was Crowley because they think he was a high ranking Angel formerly. Or that it was the two of them together. Or that Jimbriel amplified it. But what if…

“There is always a supreme archangel”

Michael says this in S2E1 when talking with Uriel about who is in charge now that Gabriel was missing. Gabriel was removed from office in the trial we hear, he’s no longer Supreme Archangel. If so, Michael’s statement would imply that as soon as Gabriel’s removal happened, a new archangel already existed. Now obviously the Metatron is making a show of choosing Aziraphale as the new Supreme Archangel. But is that within his power to do so? Or is he suggesting working with Crowley for a different reason, possibly unknown even to him?

“I am the only first-order archangel in the room, or you know, the universe”

During the “2nd Armageddon-that-wasn’t” discussion, Gabriel says these words. As he says them, it cuts (ominously isn’t the right word here, pointedly maybe?) to Crowley leaning against the desk, and lingers there just a bit too long.

“How do you know it wasn’t me?”

Another clue to the powerful angel Crowley was. It was clearly said in a teasing manner throw Shax off. But much like the barrel of red herring in the intro, is it a red herring to something else?

“Can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you?”

The only other time we see someone calling lightning or using it is, you guessed it: Gabriel in S1 on the airbase to port in and out. I’ve read the theory that Angel!Crowley was the lord of lightning, which I’m not opposed to, but to me this is another link.

“Never change their passwords”

We have one HUGE instance of Heaven being sloppy in their record keeping (passwords), and lax in their security protocol (Crowley bopping about with Muriel). Whereas Hell is meticulous in their record keeping, as shown by the bills, admissions process, and S1 contract.

So what if: when Gabriel was stripped of the title, a new Supreme Archangel was automatically appointed. Except instead of someone else, because heaven neglected to double-check their logs after The Fall, Crowley was still on the books as next in line? This would absolutely play into “God playing games with the universe” and “just think what would have happened if we’d been at all competent” themes running through both seasons. It would also follow the theory that people noticed Aziraphale and Crowley were on the “wrong” side for much of the season. It would also explain a few continuity errors along the way (how did Crowley know Muriel’s rank? He knows it through the knowledge automatically given to the Supreme Archangel).

“Funny ol’ world, isn’t it?”

Caveats and potential weaknesses:

I have no idea how this fits into the fact that S3 will be the actual continuation the Neil and Terry planned, as to my knowledge S2 was essentially a “Neil’s chaotic angsty ineffable husbands fanfic”. But clearly S2 has to play well into the plan for S3. I also kind of hate my theory because Crowley specifically declined to be an angel again, and his hand has been forced too often already.

Now I am a staunch advocate of the body-swap theory, and I’m not sure how this would play into that. Does Metatron know? Does he think he has the power to appoint? Does he think the title went to Aziraphale because of the miracle? Does he try to get Crowley to come back with Aziraphale to exploit his power? Does he know about the body swap in S1 and if so, was he trying to trigger another one to get the right “soul” to heaven?

There are a few other things I haven’t figured out how to incorporate into this post yet. I’ll try to put them into coherent thoughts in the next few days, but thought I’d throw this to the wolves universe for the time being.

Thought 1: “How have your lot managed to stay in charge all this time?” “I’m not so sure we have.”

Thought 2: I need to do (another) rewatch before I nail this one down (such a sacrifice I tell you), but does Crowley have a visceral reaction like he does in S1 to being called “good” in the current, post Gabriel-removal timeset? Obv in Edinburgh/Job, but that’s in the past. He denies it, sure (with Jim), but he straight up flashes a smile and thanks Mrs. Sandwich when she says “You’re a good lad” (after the denial).

2.1: No one calls him “good” in present day except these two instances. Vast difference in the visceral reactions of season 1 and flashbacks.

I’m probably reading too much into it but…. A lightning strike.

As in the one Crowley calls down in the middle of the street.

As a demon.

• What's your name? •

I need to draw the whole scene now... Btw, look at the ✨music box✨

• A memory from a dream •

Notes: The engraving says "Dearest Aziraphale, ever in our hearts." 💖 (EDIT: Unfortunately I mistranslated Aziraphale, I'm sorry🙈)

It's very similar to the movie one, just because I love that design so much! The little statue inside (which, in my idea, slowly rise up and then rotates on itself) is made of iridescent glass❄️✨

• Together in London •

• Sweet Angel O' Mine •

Plot summary: "1984, London. Aziraphale Fell - bookshop owner and sworn enemy of chaos - gets dragged to a rock concert against his better judgement. When the rowdy crowd swallows him, he falls. And the help comes from the most unexpected hand: Alpha Centauri's frontman, Anthony J. Crowley."

✨

I'm pretty proud of the whole idea🤭

Notes: yep, I took references from Billy (Stranger Things)~ And all Crowley's tattoos are easter eggs...👀✨

Bonus: Crowley has a whole star map on his back🌠 (and Aziraphale is pretty much obsessed with tracing each constellation with his lips🙈🔥)

While everyone’s eyes were focused on the Ineffable Con and the Good Omens Graphic Novel over these past few weeks, our favourite Good Omens concept artist, Louis Ralph, has updated his portfolio with some yet unseen S2 photobashing work.

This piece, called ‘Burning’, depicts the surroundings of St Giles' Cathedral in Edinburgh skillfully transformed into Renaissance Vatican. The crowd gathered around the stake — including a very interesting instance of the long-haired bishop Crowley, in full black regalia with a mitra negra and a crosier, swapping sides with an earlier, slightly subdued version of the Globe Aziraphale — consists almost exclusively of members of the Pontifical Swiss Guard and the clergy, with the Pope himself overseeing the scene from a balcony in his traditional ermine-trimmed winter cape and camauro. All of them are witnessing a small miracle of unknown provenance: the blessing of rain falling exactly on the supposed witch and effectively stopping her trial by fire.

For those of you who have overlooked or forgotten the topic of the Good Omens minisodes cut out from S2 due to Covid restrictions, here’s the relevant quote from an official source pinpointing in time the full context of this particular artwork:

“Ones that we had planned as possible for Season 2 (that either didn't get written or didn't get filmed) included a Wild West one, a 15th century Papal one, an Arabian Nights one, and a 1960s American one with Crowley and Aziraphale female presenting. And we have the whole of human history as a canvas. But for now the ones you've got are all.”

For what it’s worth, the second half of the fifteenth century indeed saw a significant increase in the number of individuals, mostly poor and older women, who were hunted, charged, tried, and often executed as witches. The rise in condemnations was propelled by a series of papal bulls on the matter, the first from 1473, which attacked and condemned sorcery, thought to be practiced by witches. Popes of the first half of the fifteenth century issued bulls condemning witchcraft and magic as well, but not quite in the sense we think of today. And there’s one person we might consider as the source of the problem.

In 1484, a Dominican clergyman Heinrich Krämer (wider known under his Latin pen name Institoris) made one of the first attempts at prosecuting alleged witches in the Austrian Tyrol region. It was not a success: a professional barrister got involved, and Krämer expelled from the city of Innsbruck and dismissed by the local bishop as “senile and crazy”. So he did what senile and crazy men do best, even nowadays — he sat down and wrote a book in a desperate act of self-justification and revenge.

Not wanting to repeat the painful history from Tyrol, Krämer requested explicit authorisation from the Pope to prosecute witchcraft, together with another Dominican Friar Jacob Sprenger (believed by researchers to have had a personal feud with Krämer and trying to thwart his attempts locally). A papal bull Summis desiderantes affectibus was issued in 1484 in response to Krämer’s request, and two years later, his magnum opus was published.

Malleus Maleficarum (1486) made use of both falsified academic credentials and a new technology in the form of Gutenberg’s printing press to become an instant bestseller, second only to the Bible in terms of sales for almost 200 years. It appeared in 28 editions between 1486 and 1600 and was accepted by Roman Catholics and Protestants alike as an authoritative — albeit highly controversial among theologians — source of information concerning Satanism, and the preferable Christian response to this threat. The publication did much to spur on and sustain some two centuries of witch-hunting hysteria in Europe, promoting the implementation of Exodus 22:18: “You shall not permit a sorceress to live.”

I am very much unsure how to do this, but I’ll try here. I’d like to offer my services as a sort of copy editor/grammar checker for Good Omen AO3 fics. I’d be happy to provide feedback, but honestly my day job is reading and yelling at words, and my evening activity is already reading GO fic, so why not combine the two and help the GO writer community?

My preferences are:

E or M (but open to shorter fics of other ratings)

Strong preference for human AU, M/M, Aziraphale/Crowley, happy ending/angst with a happy ending.

I don’t have many icks or CWs, I’ve read a lot of messed-up fics (yes, probably even that one).

Zero issues with any kink I’ve read so far. Honestly I love a good sub/dom/subspace chapter(s).

Slight aversion to A/B/O, but will absolutely edit them.

✩ Gut-punches are about timing. You don't say “I love you” during the sunset. You say it in the middle of a burning building or right after they stab you.

✩ A single line of dialogue like “you were supposed to come back” hits harder than an entire page of poetic mourning.

✩ Don’t just break their hearts, break their sense of identity. Make them question who they are, what they stand for, and if it was ever worth it (That’s premium pain.)

✩ Let someone be forgiven… but not trusted again. That's the kind of heartbreak that lingers like smoke.

✩ Sometimes the most devastating line is the one they don’t say. Silence is a character too.

✩ Give them a moment of joy. Right before everything falls apart. Hope makes the fall hurt more.

✩ Someone saying “I forgive you” through tears? Powerful. Someone saying “I still love you but I can’t stay”? Absolutely soul-shattering.

And that’s the day I realized I can’t handle a “bittersweet ending” tag in the slightest. If a fic hints at that ending, I will skip that chapter or the fic entirely. It can even happen with a “growing very old together and the end is near” end.

Driving down the highway, something reminds me of Up to the Peaks, Down to the Core, crying. Writing this post, crying. In public, frantically chugging water to make the tight throat go away. See the bittersweet tag, cry into a pillow.

I befriended a feral cat once who had spent her life in the forest without human interaction. I was worried about her because she had a paw damaged from an old injury and was emaciated but obviously nursing kittens that were hidden away somewhere. It took me weeks of putting out food and sitting across the yard every evening for her to trust me even a little and when she decided we were friends and she expected dinner every night she started coming to my door and trying to call for me in the evening, but she didn’t meow. Why would she? Cats only meow naturally as kittens when their vocal chords/ears aren’t fully developed, adult cats communicate with vocalizations that aren’t audible to humans. She probably tried making noises I couldn’t hear to call me but ended up sticking to the one I always responded to- a horrible yowling growl that she had made at me when we first encountered each other in the forest. Except once we were friends she would make this noise while purring and rubbing affectionately against a nearby tree or the porch railing (because she didn’t want to touch me yet). This understandably freaked my family members out but I was touched that she had taken the time to find a way to basically yell FUCK OFF in an affectionate way.

Fast forward to when she finally trusts me enough to bring her hidden kittens out of the forest to me, long story short I gained their trust and put them in this big pen, that I had previously used to keep chickens in, so they’d be safe and to keep her from having another litter. Except she was already secretly pregnant again! (Fix your pets, guys, they make SO many babies) and ended up having her new babies in this pen. I kept my distance, sitting on the outside once they were born until she seemed comfortable enough to let me come inside. The kittens were a bit wild, hissing viscously at me as soon as they opened their eyes, but they warmed up to me. There were four of them and soon they all wanted to be the center of attention during the twice daily play sessions. I’d be playing with one and another would meow insistently behind me and I’d immediately answer them and give them love, teaching them that humans could be friends that answer their needs- making them adoptable once they were weaned. Mama cat (Artie) would just watch me play with them, and I guess she was doing some thinking because one day when they were about a month old I was playing with them and one meowed behind me. I was confused because I hadn’t realized there was a kitten behind me and when I turned, there wasn’t. The only cat there was Artie looking at me really intensely. I turned back around to the kittens and I heard the meow again, I turned back to Artie and responded in the way I always did with the kittens “yes baby?” And she meowed again in an exact imitation of her kittens! After that she would.not.shut.up. It was like she had cracked some kind of code, meowing for attention and snacks and just to say hi. Her two older kittens, the ones she’d had in the forest, had never meowed at me either but started to once they saw how I responded to their mom. and I find it endlessly fascinating because before that it had never occurred to me that cats only meow at humans because they were taught by other cats to keep meowing past kittenhood because that’s the best way to get a human’s attention.

A few oversights made millennia ago, and suddenly we have a demon archangel on our hands.

Caution: I came up with and wrote this in the last few hours so potentially crackpot theory ahead. Apologies if this has been proposed before, it’s not one I’ve seen. And I’ve seen A LOT.

So supposedly the miracle Aziraphale and Crowley performed together was something only the mightiest of archangels could have done. Everyone assumes it was Crowley because they think he was a high ranking Angel formerly. Or that it was the two of them together. Or that Jimbriel amplified it. But what if…

“There is always a supreme archangel”

Michael says this in S2E1 when talking with Uriel about who is in charge now that Gabriel was missing. Gabriel was removed from office in the trial we hear, he’s no longer Supreme Archangel. If so, Michael’s statement would imply that as soon as Gabriel’s removal happened, a new archangel already existed. Now obviously the Metatron is making a show of choosing Aziraphale as the new Supreme Archangel. But is that within his power to do so? Or is he suggesting working with Crowley for a different reason, possibly unknown even to him?

“I am the only first-order archangel in the room, or you know, the universe”

During the “2nd Armageddon-that-wasn’t” discussion, Gabriel says these words. As he says them, it cuts (ominously isn’t the right word here, pointedly maybe?) to Crowley leaning against the desk, and lingers there just a bit too long.

“How do you know it wasn’t me?”

Another clue to the powerful angel Crowley was. It was clearly said in a teasing manner throw Shax off. But much like the barrel of red herring in the intro, is it a red herring to something else?

“Can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you?”

The only other time we see someone calling lightning or using it is, you guessed it: Gabriel in S1 on the airbase to port in and out. I’ve read the theory that Angel!Crowley was the lord of lightning, which I’m not opposed to, but to me this is another link.

“Never change their passwords”

We have one HUGE instance of Heaven being sloppy in their record keeping (passwords), and lax in their security protocol (Crowley bopping about with Muriel). Whereas Hell is meticulous in their record keeping, as shown by the bills, admissions process, and S1 contract.

So what if: when Gabriel was stripped of the title, a new Supreme Archangel was automatically appointed. Except instead of someone else, because heaven neglected to double-check their logs after The Fall, Crowley was still on the books as next in line? This would absolutely play into “God playing games with the universe” and “just think what would have happened if we’d been at all competent” themes running through both seasons. It would also follow the theory that people noticed Aziraphale and Crowley were on the “wrong” side for much of the season. It would also explain a few continuity errors along the way (how did Crowley know Muriel’s rank? He knows it through the knowledge automatically given to the Supreme Archangel).

“Funny ol’ world, isn’t it?”

Caveats and potential weaknesses:

I have no idea how this fits into the fact that S3 will be the actual continuation the Neil and Terry planned, as to my knowledge S2 was essentially a “Neil’s chaotic angsty ineffable husbands fanfic”. But clearly S2 has to play well into the plan for S3. I also kind of hate my theory because Crowley specifically declined to be an angel again, and his hand has been forced too often already.

Now I am a staunch advocate of the body-swap theory, and I’m not sure how this would play into that. Does Metatron know? Does he think he has the power to appoint? Does he think the title went to Aziraphale because of the miracle? Does he try to get Crowley to come back with Aziraphale to exploit his power? Does he know about the body swap in S1 and if so, was he trying to trigger another one to get the right “soul” to heaven?

There are a few other things I haven’t figured out how to incorporate into this post yet. I’ll try to put them into coherent thoughts in the next few days, but thought I’d throw this to the wolves universe for the time being.

Thought 1: “How have your lot managed to stay in charge all this time?” “I’m not so sure we have.”

Thought 2: I need to do (another) rewatch before I nail this one down (such a sacrifice I tell you), but does Crowley have a visceral reaction like he does in S1 to being called “good” in the current, post Gabriel-removal timeset? Obv in Edinburgh/Job, but that’s in the past. He denies it, sure (with Jim), but he straight up flashes a smile and thanks Mrs. Sandwich when she says “You’re a good lad” (after the denial).

2.1: No one calls him “good” in present day except these two instances. Vast difference in the visceral reactions of season 1 and flashbacks.