A'zem Aster FFXIV

*crawls out of my cave* Um hi. How've y'all been?

Dusting off this account to promote my offerings in Fandom Trump's Hate! It's a fandom auction where all proceeds go to charity (there's a list to pick from!)

You can see them here but let me explain briefly here too. My first offering is to beta! I'll beta your fic from any fandom I've been in before, so that's Kingdom Hearts, Baldur's Gate 3, Legend of Zelda: BOTW/TOTK or Skyward Sword, Final Fantasy XIV or XV. I haven't created for the following fandoms but I would still be down to clown for: Cult of the Lamb, Nier: Replicant and Automata, or Persona 3, 4, or 5.

<br/>

The second offering is to write you a fanfic between 1k - 5k words! (The technically minimum words is 0 but like I would not do that to you). Same fandom(s) as above but please take note of my ship preferences in the FTH official offering posts. More than likely, if you see this, you already somewhat know me and know what I fuck with and don't so. Y'know.

Anyway, bidding is open from right now to March 1st so if you would like to bid on me (or anyone else!) don't wait! :) I myself plan to bid on about 2. There's SO many offerings of all kinds of fandom works so please take a look!

Thancred driving

Y'shtola in shotgun with the map

But she's really navigating from memory from making the same trip 7 years ago

They are 682 malms off course

The twins are squashed in the middle

Between Urianger and WoL in the back

Raha's in a carrier taking a nap after yowling for two hours

The radio only plays Eorzean NPR (Y'shtola's preference), American 80's classic rock (Thancred's), or acoustic KidzBop on AM radio

Alphinaud is out of juice boxes

Alisaie has to pee

Urianger is using tarot to divine if they'll all survive this trip

Tataru absolutely did not account for WoL stress eating an entire gas station worth of snacks in their trip budget

Or the side trip to see Eorzea's largest ball of yarn (Raha's idea)

The gas tank is on E and the nearest gas station is two Thancred mental breakdowns away

Followed by 10 hours of driving by nothing but scenic out of season corn fields (so basically Ohio)

Ryne and Gaia took their own car (a dark purple convertible) and passed Thancred hours also while blasting California Gurls at an obscene volume and singing along

They made it to the hotel just fine and now wont answer their phones because they're chilling by the pool

Picture by von Koenigsmarck

"I'm gonna follow you guys around instead of murdering you"

*y'shtola flings herself into the lifestream for the umpteenth time* oh no the scions are sad. "VERY WELL, I SHALL GO AND FETCH HER" *inconvenienced sigh*

*pushes thancred's buttons much the same way hythlodaeus would push his*

*shoots g'raha in the back....when he very easily could have shot him in the back of the head* "He'll live, chill."

"You're invited to my secret magic city at the bottom of the ocean. Bring your friends if you haven't eaten them"

*inconvenienced sigh* "OH SO YOU BROUGHT YOUR FRIENDS (hey guys welcome to amaurot)"

"I'm gonna have to murder all of you" *does not do that at all*

*literally just stuns them*

*for all of 10 minutes*

*shocked pikachu face*

"I bid them remember"

*alisaie looks sad that he and hyth are re-re-dying* Fuck. Quick say something comforting.

"SpArE mE YoUr piTy"

Nailed it.

Your stories matter.

You are not inferior to other writers.

You don't have to prove your worth to anyone.

Your passion matters more than your skill.

You are allowed to openly celebrate your achievements.