Price can’t help but notice the way you’ve been shutting down any and every attempt at intimacy.
At first he’d assumed it was because you wanted time after giving birth to your daughter, which he was totally okay with, but after 5 months he started thinking there may be another reason.
He waited until Lily was asleep for her nap before he pulled you to sit with him on the sofa. “Hey love..”
It reassures him slightly when you smile up at him happily. “Hi..”
He feels like a nervous teenager, avoiding your eye contact and clearing his throat whilst he thinks of a way to start the conversation.
Your brows furrow slightly as you reach out to grab his hand. “John?”
Scooping you into his lap is somewhat to comfort you and somewhat to break the tension of a serious conversation. “I love you.. you know that, hm?”
It pains him slightly to see your expression go to concern and confusion. “I know.. John, what’s the matter?”
“You know I’d never pressure you into anything?”
“I don’t want you to think we have to have sex, I’m just.. if there’s a reason you don’t want to, you can tell me..”
It’s expected that you pull away but it doesn’t stop him from cringing slightly, resisting the urge to hug you closer.
His heart practically falls out of his ass at how hurt you look. “No- I’m not- I just.. I just wanted to know if I did something or if I could do something to make you feel comfortable..”
You shake your head slightly and the sight of tears in your eyes makes him temporarily forget he’s a war hardened soldier, feeling immediately desperate to cheer you up.
You pull away entirely, standing up in front of him. “I’m not.. the same- as before I was pregnant, John.. physically..”
He’s on his feet in a second, swiping a tear from your cheek before it can fall. “You know that’s not a problem for me love, I don’t expect you to be exactly the same as when we met and I love that..”
“You don’t get it..”
“You’re right, of course you are, there’s no way for me to understand what you’ve been through to give us our daughter.. but I love it.. all of the changes - stretch marks, loose skin - just shows what you went through..”
You shake your head and turn away from him. “No- I know you love that, you remind me all the time..”
He chuckles slightly, wrapping his arms round your middle, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Then what’s the matter? Talk to me baby, I want you to be comfortable with me..”
The silence stretches, and he lets it, he knows whatever the issue this is clearly a big deal to you.
“I’m not going to be..” You clear your throat, shuffling your feet. “tight.. anymore..”
That he didn’t expect, he hadn’t even considered that you would be worried about that. “That’s what you’re worried about?”
He feels your response rather than hears it, your head nodding against his.
“Love.. that’s not- that would never be an issue, you can’t help that, that’s not what sex is for me..”
You turn round in his arms, staying pressed against his chest. “No?”
He leans down, letting his forehead fall against yours. “No.. sex is also about us being close and showing you how much I love you..”
He slowly realises just how much you’ve been in your own head about this, if the way you frown is enough to go by. “But.. it’s not going to feel as good for you”
Despite the fact you’re already pressed to his chest he manages to hug you closer. “Any time I spend with you is amazing, no matter what, no question about it.”
He pulls back, but only enough to look you in the eye. “I’m serious. I love you more than anything, every single physical change you’ve been through just reminds me how strong you are. You pushed a BABY out of you love, our daughter grew inside of you for 9 months, of course that’s going to change your body.”
This time when your eyes fill with tears it isn’t from embarrassment but rather the realisation of just how amazing your husband is. “Mean it?”
“With everything I have. Now there’s no pressure and I’d never want you to feel like you’re supposed to do anything intimate, ever, but I need you to know I’d never ever feel anything negative about your body.”