Internally screaming

Timeline:

Zeal posted about an hour long video and by then by the end of it, allegedly attempted to kill himself. The video was, according to a few people, taken down soon after upload. According to staff on his server, he was hospitalized, allegedly. I have been unable to find evidence of the staff claiming this BUT Zeal did state in the doc himself that he was hospitalized.

During this, Zeal’s “mom” (supposedly) also made a statement on discord. 

A few notes.

I want to make a few notes before going into the hospitalisation allegations.

First note, Zeal’s “mom” states they were preparing to release a statement, but due to what happened, will not be happening. They were going to take legal action instead. 1. Is the message “she’s” sending now not a statement? Unless “she’s” talking about the google doc? 2. If “she” is then, either they changed their minds on the legal stuff or they couldn’t or they failed to do so.

Second note. “She” claims that they took down the video themselves. Now assuming the video was how they found out about Zeal’s alleged attempt, they were unnaturally quick to take it down. Plus I would’ve thought they would care more about checking on their child before doing something about the video. Now granted, people were claiming that the video was privated. So one possibility is that Zeal privated it, but once the family made sure he was ok, they deleted the video (if that’s what they mean by taking it down.) With how it was worded, I’m not sure how plausible that is. Another explanation is NOT assuming the video was how they found out, (and assuming that Zeal privated it and they deleted it later scenario) but rather they found out a different way. The only other possibility I can think of is that Zeal took down the video himself and Zeal’s “mom” lied (for some reason) about taking it down. Or otherwise, as many people are speculating, it’s not his mom to begin with and it’s Zeal pretending.

Denmark’s hospital policy

Other people have mentioned that Denmark’s policy on internet access during crisis prevention (such as suicide) is strict, patients will not be allowed on it, unless monitored, for their wellbeing. This also includes engaging in a situation that led the patient to said crisis. 

Googling, I have not found anything about internet restriction in Denmark but Zeal, again, did confirm he had internet restrictions. (First screenshot.) 

With that said, whether or not his family helped write the doc, makes things untrue if the part that he is not allowed to engage in the situation that led to his attempt is true in the policy. An explanation could be that he did all this without eyes on him. If the hospital actually only cares about his internet access then they wouldn’t think twice about letting him have his computer while being restricted to accessing wifi. As for the publishing, he could’ve possibly gotten his family or friend to post it, giving them the password for his twitter account. Otherwise he simply lied about being in hospital to begin with. The motivation if he did lie? To gain sympathy points and get people on his side. 

And actually, real quick, as of writing this, we can see Zeal also mentions gathering screenshots before hospitalisation. Now if you seen his doc, it has ALOT of screenshots. I just find the timeline of it odd. He made that video not long after Ren’s doc came out. His “mom” says he was unstable while making that video. Staff were also quitting soon after the doc was out which has been claimed to have contributed to his distress. Where in that timeline could he have gotten those screenshots? During the reading of Ren’s doc for the first time? He also included his own screenshots. He’d have to go searching back for those.  Not saying it’s impossible but something to consider. Plus with his video and how fast things changed, his initial reaction was distress, I’d think in that state one wouldn’t consider screenshotting anything for future counter docs, especially when one has suicidal thoughts. What about after the alleged attempt? That would be assuming he was never physically harmed during his alleged attempt and had time to cool down. That would’ve given him time to gather that many screenshots if not all as that scenario would’ve led him to not be admitted to the hospital right away. Any screenshots he missed and within his doc marked with a “ * ” could also be explained as a simply forgotten moment. If none of that is true then I don’t know when and how else he gathered those screenshots. Unless of course he was never in the hospital in the first place. (also reminder he still didn’t address the screenshot in Ren’s doc where Ren had to explain consent to him. Refer to my previous post.) 

Zeal trying to join Ren’s server

This was one of the red flags I mentioned in my last post. 

It’s clearly his account. However a comment wondered if it was Zeal behind the screen. So let’s go over this.

It was him

Let’s assume it’s him first. Clear motivations for doing this: to stalk Ren. We also have to consider the hospitalization situation again. How would he do this if he wasn’t allowed internet access? Some possibilities:

He was never in the hospital in the first place. Again, possibly lied about it.

He was discharged from the hospital before this. This was after the doc where he claimed that he was still in hospital. We never got an update if he was out yet or not. I can’t say how long he should be there, it depends on the situation and circumstances. This is an important thing to note, as it would give a good comparison in timelines on his hospital stay vs when he did this. EDIT: DEBUNKED, his “mom” has made another statement on discord as of editing this (may 28th) that he’s now since been out of hospital. Screenshot provided in my reblog.

He got someone else to do it (more on this next.)

It was someone else

Now let’s assume it wasn’t him behind the screen. Who could it be? It could be someone that Zeal trusted his password with. Family, a friend. If so, Zeal might’ve asked them to join Ren’s server. But this doesn’t make sense when you think about it. It leads to more questions than answers. Why would Zeal have someone else to do it? Let alone on HIS account? Wouldn’t it make more sense to get that person to do it on their own account if the goal was to spy? Was Zeal really insane to think he WOULDN’T get banned immediately? Now that is the only logical explanation for that, regardless of whether or not it was someone else using his account or it was just him. Not only is that dumb thinking, but it’s straight up obsessive behaviour. Gross and creepy.

Another possibility if it was someone else behind the screen that has his password, is that somebody did this behind Zeal’s back. The only motivation I can think of for doing so is to betray Zeal and make him more guilty which is an incredibly dumb move since if they had access to his account, they can see Zeal’s message history and I’m sure they could find genuine guilty evidence (whether that’s related to the main situation or not.) So how likely do you think that scenario is? Otherwise the person simply forgot to log off Zeal’s account (being on there to begin with for whatever reason.) but realistically that seems VERY unlikely. Even if somehow true, it’s still very suspicious.

It was a hacker

If it wasn’t Zeal, nor someone he knows then the only other possibility is that a hacker hacked into Zeal’s account. Again, the only motivation I can think of for this scenario is the same one as the family/friend one. That the hacker wanted to make Zeal look guilty. Once again, the hacker would’ve had Zeal’s message history. However there’s no telling how much time this hacker could’ve had. If Zeal wasn’t in hospital then he would’ve been alerted that his account has logged in (same logic if someone else was entrusted with his emails), on a new device and/or location. (Correct me if I’m wrong.) Not sure if it’s possible to force log out on every device for discord but if so that’s the only explanation I can think of for the hacker to do that. Once again, how likely is that scenario to begin with? Maybe the hacker did gather some stuff and forgot to log off before joining Ren’s server, planning to share this evidence gathered. But in that case wouldn’t the hacker make themselves known publicly about that? The only reason they would keep quiet is because they found nothing. (unlikely, check my last post on why.) But let’s be for real, we’re more likely to see that scenario in a movie than irl.

Someone managed to fake it

I've seen a screenshot in a post saying that they replicated the carl bot embed on their own server. However for this to faked by these methods, then it would have to be from a mod/admin with the bot permissions to do so. Why would they feel the need to do this when Ren is already going to be updating her doc with other people coming forward about Zeal? It’s why I highly doubt this is a possibility.

Other notes

First and foremost, I want to mention I had some updates edited in and reblogged from my last post in case you saw my initial post but not the updates. 

Link

In the edits I go a little in depth about how trauma can affect the hippocampus, the part of your brain which is responsible for your memories. An important thing to consider regarding Ren.

In the reblog I found a translation of the Danish part of Zeal’s video which reveals a red flag. TW for sibling violence.

Secondly, can people stop watching the youtube videos regarding the situation? They switch sides like a button, it’s obvious they are only covering the situation because it gets them views. People are attracted to situations like this and some like having a summarized version in a video format. And whether or not they are doing it for the views, they have done little research on a few things such as trauma responses and only repeating what Zeal has said and treating it like his pov proves his innocence. Plus I’m sure some of them are plainly sexist and ableist. Stop relying on them for information.

Thirdly, something about Kat. I kinda mention this in my last post but I wanted to repeat it in case someone needs to hear this. Two things can be true at once. Kat can absolutely be a horrible person AND be a victim, by Zeal or otherwise. It’s just like how some abusive parents were victims by their own parents. (This is called cycle of abuse and generational trauma btw.) So we shouldn’t dismiss Kat’s statement just because we know she’s acted horribly. And if you just didn’t know that she had a doc of her own, congrats now you do and here it is: Kat's doc  You can also see what I had to say about it in my last post if you haven't already.

Fawning response

First of all I want to quickly address the “Fawning response” something Ren mentioned in their document. So what is it?

Source

Sounds familiar doesn’t it? Ren had screenshots of these moments within her doc and so does Zeal who is trying to paint it as proof of consent. Ren’s behaviour could also be a result of hypersexality, something that quite a few victims experience after trauma. However I more strongly believe it’s a fawning response, appeasing to Zeal in an exaggerated way out of FEAR. Ren also stated in her doc she had a fear of abandonment which I imagine would contribute to that response.

Another thing to note is that majority of abuse victims stay with their abusers.

Source

There's a multitude of reasons for this such as denial, financially unable, unsafe to leave, still processing what had happened, blaming themselves instead, etc.

Zeal joining Ren's server

Recently, Zeal was caught attempting to join Ren's server.

If that's not a giant red flag then I don't know what is.

Zeal's patterns in disrespecting boundaries and consent

Next point I want to make. Within Zeal’s doc, he mentions Ren asked for a kiss and it became a makeout session. Even if true, that is NOT an invitation to further acts, and nowhere did Zeal say that he did ask before going further. This is more evident when Ren had to EXPLAIN consent to him.

This is a grown man we’re talking about here. He should already know this basic concept. Another point that could be evidence of this is within Kat’s doc. However Kat didn’t provide proof so this is more alleged, but if it is true then it further proves Zeal’s lack of respecting boundaries.

Kat also mentions being called pet names by Zeal along with being referred to as “my.” I can believe this due to evidence of this happening to a user that goes by “Uncobbed_Corn”

Pretty similar to how he talks to Ren. A red flag if you ask me. This could be a tactic to make an individual feel special to him when they are not, a tactic manipulators and groomers use. 

Another thing in Kat’s doc is Zeal asking if what he was sending her was ok and Kat, out of fear of repercussions, said yes. (Fawning response.) He then pinned this message in DM’s. This is a red flag and this next point is about to make it a bigger one. Zerum reached out and confronted him about this to tell him the reality of the situation.

Just wanna emphasize, I don’t support Zerum nor Kat for obvious reasons... However what was said here is a point of interest. (Also two things can be true, a person can have good morals while also having bad ones. A person can be a victim and be a perpetrator at the same time, in fact that's how the cycle of abuse happens. Nothing is black and white.) Zeal pulled up the pinned msg in Kat’s DM’s as if boundaries can’t be changed and consent can’t be withdrawn. Zerum, also while confronting Zeal, mentions MULTIPLE complaints from staff. Perhaps we will hear more from them in Ren’s updated document? She also has to tell him to not be sending any inappropriate content to said staff especially due to the power imbalance between boss and employee. (How many people has he been sending inappropriate content to?) Which also now gets me thinking. Did he target Ren specifically because she left and is no longer an employee of his? Something to think about.

Gonna try and make these next few points short so here we go.

The pinning

Zeal denies pinning her down but then describes it as “holding hands while their hands were above their head.” Mate that is the exact definition of pinning.

"Comforting"

He describes entering Ren’s room, hugging, then lifting them up onto their bed. He says any positions that may have happened were not intended to be sexual. He never asked if this was ok. Believe it or not, not everyone who is breaking down wants physical contact to be comforted. Why not instead ask if they want to sit on the bed and talk about it. Or ask "what can I do to help?" Or something along those lines instead of literally lifting them up?

Calling Ren a burden

At some point in the document Zeal confirms he called Ren a burden but excuses it with that he was exhausted in consoling them when they broke down. I want to express that, that is NOT an excuse to call someone a burden, ESPECIALLY when you KNOW they are struggling mentally. You are indeed allowed to feel exhausted in trying to help someone over and over, but that is when you have to communicate that you need a break unless it's an emergency, and if they need any help, suggest another friend or someone. Zeal does not apologize for this.

Suite incident

This might be a weak point. Zeal responds to a statement made by Ren that he gets a pillow on his lap, positions Ren’s head onto it, and he starts playing with their hair. Zeal doesn’t deny the position, but says that Ren was actually the one playing with his hair as he was on his phone. My question is, how is that possible in that position? Without your arm getting tired from reaching up?

Privacy

He asked for privacy to not talk about what happened because he was “embarrassed.” As Ren said, why would you need to ask this in the first place? Both parties should automatically know it's not other people’s business if it was consensual. It’s suspicious at the least. Comes off as a manipulator knowing they are guilty and trying to silence the victim.

Now I want to finish this off by saying 

1. To other victims who are comparing their own experience to Ren’s to say she’s a liar. Kindly stop. No one’s experience in handling a traumatic event is the exact same. Everyone will respond differently. Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn. There is no such thing as a "perfect victim."

2. To everyone saying they hope the justice system will handle things, are we forgetting a few things? Such as, how America's current president is a predator? Or how it’s infamous for failing SV victims over and over? Or how those that do report and go through the process get mentally drained, sometimes giving up entirely? I could go on. We cannot trust the justice system will handle things appropriately. There is a reason why many don't end up reporting.

and finally, please wait for Ren's updated doc. As I've mentioned, there's more people that wish to speak up.

UPDATE: Another thing I wanna mention that I think is important to note. Trauma can affect memories. It can mess with the hippocampus, the part of your brain responsible for your memories. Source 1 Source 2 In source 1, there's a part where it talks about how desert storm veterans were interviewed. 88% of veterans changed their response to at least one event. 61% changed more than one. Majority of those responses were from "no that didn't happen to me" to "yes that happened to me." It goes on to explain why this might happen. I can't be bothered screenshotting, it's said around the 6th paragraph.

In source 2 I'm just gonna copy and paste a quote "It can also make it hard to trust your own sense of time and reality, leaving you unsure of where the trauma ends and the present begins."

Found this reddit post breaking down the video Zeal had put up. And then this comment caught my eye. It's a Danish person translating what was said in Danish, somewhere during the video. Granted, this person also said it was directly translated and didn't have time to look it through to set it up grammatically + the sobbing and cutting through sentences midway.

What stood out to me in particular however, is Zeal apologizing to hitting his younger brother and admitting to being violent.

This, is a red flag. Children who are violent when younger do tend to grow up violent. It is an understudied case and I can hardly find anything on the perpetrators themselves. It's not impossible though considering how some bullies don't outgrow their behaviour, how children killing animals grow up to be, cycle of abuse in general, etc. Plus it is a logical outcome if nothing is done about it.

Source

What I could find is that, reasons for sibling aggression can be due to: - being a victim themselves - genetic factors - Parental neglect/lack of supervision - exposure to violence at home - and more

Source 1 - Source 2

It is also vital to recognize that the "perfect victim" does not exist. Even if REN acted erratically at certain points, that does not strip away their status as a victim, nor does it allow us to jump to instant conclusions. We cannot start supporting Zeal or claiming REN lied while ignoring 200 pages of evidence just because the situation has become messy.

REN acknowledged (in their document, which was taken down due to mass reporting) that they may have appeared enthusiastic as a trauma response. However, we must not forget that Zeal remained the aggressor, utilizing coercion to force "consent." Furthermore, he and his accomplices—Kat, Zerum, Wil, and Cyborg—are still being held accountable for being homophobic, transphobic, racist, misogynistic, and ableist. Their track record as overall toxic individuals remains unchanged.

With that in mind, I will summarize the defense document, the multi-tweet threads, and REN's recent statements, alongside new information regarding Zeal’s actions—points that his supporters have yet to address. I’m not claiming to have the absolute truth; I am simply presenting the information that has surfaced so we can look at the full picture.

Following his hospitalization on April 9th, Zeal’s family released these responses on his behalf. According to their statement, Zeal remains offline under medical supervision without personal internet access. He reportedly wrote most of the 10,000-word document on a borrowed laptop while in the hospital, with his mother helping to structure and post it, as well as reading supportive messages aloud to him.

The Timeline and Hospitalization

Zeal claims that when the 145+ page document was dropped on April 8th, he immediately signed off to write a defense because he believed the claims were false. However, within 24 hours, he experienced what he calls "mass abandonment"—friends, co-workers, and idols blocking and distancing themselves before he could respond. He states this spiral led to his suicide attempt that same night. He remains hospitalized and describes the process of writing this document as "painful, grueling, and deeply humiliating," but necessary to defend his name.

The Core Defense: Mutual Interaction

Zeal’s central claim is that the encounters during RDC 2025 were mutual and consensual the entire time. He points to their five-year history of flirting and notes that REN had been constantly venting to him about their mental health and past relationships. His detailed version of the events:

September 3rd: After comforting REN (who was crying in the lobby) with permitted hugs, they invited him to their room. He claims they initiated the first kiss ("Can I kiss you?"). He denies aggressive pinning, stating they simply interlocked fingers. He asserts that when they said "it hurts," he immediately stopped, checked if they were okay, and only tried again after they said yes. He notes there was no penetration that night; he was embarrassed by his "poor performance" and even joked about writing a "Google Doc" about how bad he was at it.

September 4th: They reportedly bought lube together. He describes this second encounter as slower, at REN’s pace, and involving more consent checks. Again, he states no penetration occurred. Afterward, they showered together and REN slept on his chest.

Specific Rebuttals to Graphic Claims

Zeal provides verbatim counters to the most serious allegations:

Physical Restraint: He denies "pinning them down," stating his only intention was to hold their hands.

Physical Contact: He denies "aggressive" fingering, claiming it was merely "poorly" done. He asserts REN was visually guiding him by doing it themselves.

The Oral Incident: He denies forcing a finger down their throat, explaining that his long hair accidentally fell into their mouth once.

The Word "No": He claims that when they said "no" to something later, it was in a "laughingly embarrassed" tone, and he covered up immediately. He insists he provided aftercare (washing them both up) and was not dismissive.

Post-Event Evidence

Zeal’s strongest evidence consists of logs and social media posts from REN following RDC. He highlights a tweet where they praised him for "not trying anything uncomfortable" and messages calling him "gentle," "soft," and "handsome." He notes that they continued to send explicit fantasies and drawings weeks later while they were thousands of miles apart, arguing this contradicts an immediate assault narrative.

Breach of Trust and Conclusion

Zeal explains his eventual distance as a reaction to REN disclosing their private intimacy to six people and team members against his wishes, which he viewed as a major breach of trust. He also alleges they harassed other staff members with uncomfortable DMs. He claims he tried to distance himself slowly to avoid triggering them.

Ultimately, Zeal owns his "communication failures" and blurred professional lines but refuses the "assault" label. He suggests REN may now genuinely feel the encounter was non-consensual due to retroactive trauma processing and their mental health history, but argues that their contemporaneous words show otherwise. He clarifies that no other team members were present during the encounters; they only learned about it from REN afterward.

Evidence of Culpability That Cannot Be Refuted

Beyond the narrative presented in the counter-document, there are several critical points and pieces of evidence that suggest Zeal’s accountability, many of which remain unaddressed or are exacerbated by his own defense.

First, a major point of concern involves Zeal’s awareness of who he was interacting with. Despite claiming to have known REN for five years, records show he asked for their age thirteen days after the incident; he was also reportedly unaware of their real name at that time. This raises a disturbing red flag: it suggests Zeal proceeded with the encounters while believing there was a possibility that REN could have been a minor.

Then there’s this absolute piece of shit statement in his document: "Consent given cannot be retracted 6 months later." Not only is this fundamentally untrue, as it dismisses the reality of how victims process abuse, but it also inadvertently implies that genuine consent was never established from the start. This pathetic line of reasoning seeks to invalidate victims who take time to understand or come forward about their trauma, which is a common and documented psychological response.

Regarding REN's behavior following the event, it is essential to look at it through a lens of trauma. The reactions and interactions Zeal cites as "proof of enjoyment" can be explained as hypersexuality or "fawning," which are recognized coping mechanisms used by survivors to navigate the aftermath of an assault.

Finally, the document appears to be selectively edited to favor Zeal's narrative. He notably omitted a section where REN explained the concept of consent to him, as well as an indirect admission where he apologized and cited being "excited" as a reason for his actions. Additionally, his defense fails to provide any logical explanation for the physical bruising on REN's neck, leaving a significant piece of physical evidence completely unaddressed.

Current Updates from REN

After seeing REN’s latest updates on their server, I’m even more convinced of where I stand. Even if this has turned into a "he said, they said" mess, we have to keep supporting REN. Trauma isn't a clean, perfect story, and a polished document can't erase the reality of what happened.

It honestly makes me sick and sad to see who’s actually defending Zeal. It’s mostly just little kids who care more about a video game than a human being's life, along with irresponsible, stupid adults who choose to be blind to the facts. It’s revolting.