Hippy Dippy Bullshit

I wish I could terrorize ancient people with things that are commonplace today

releasing a roomba into the greek forums

When my vampire boyfriend is over and I’ve had enough of him

Frankenstein’s Monster literally got the exact opposite of what I like to call “The Fandom treatment.” Instead of having a horrifying and/or not-normally attractive and inhuman creature being turned into a beautiful and/or sexy human by fans, a considerably attractive and goth prince who was pretty much MADE of human has been turned into a slobbering, grotesque, and ugly monster by the media 

Various leaders of the Jedi Council (the highest religious authority!)  very much believe that Anakin is their prophesied savior but they harbor such an intense personal dislike for a nine year old that they just kind of shrug it off and quietly disregard that part of their doctrine. Like, WHAT

yoda’s like “the vibes on this child… disgusting, they are” and the rest of them are just grimacing and nodding 

the idea of a clutch purse is nightmarish to me. the whole point of bags was so we could escape the torment of holding things. and now u gotta hold a bag.

millennial hipster christians are way more insufferable than just your run-of-the-mill bigoted evangelicals. I’d much rather deal with someone telling me i’m going to hell for liking girls than some guy named topher who has 5 leather bracelets on each arm and makes his own cold brew and who if i ever came out as gay to would say “well we’ve all got our own sins, man” and then pretend it never happened 

bro shut up i’m trying to remember every detail of my dream last night please just give me some peace dude 

big bird is canonically nonbinary

how the fuck do yall relax in the presence of another human……how 2 stop performing 

My pussy is fat my heart is fatter got a tiny brain made of snickerdoodle batter