Averi Tatsuya

Y/N: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him. What should I do?

Kageyama: Punch him in the stomach and when he doubles over, kiss him.

Noya: Tackle him.

Tanaka: Dump him.

Hinata: Kick him in the shins.

Tsukishima: No to ALL of those! Just ask me to lean down! Damn!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bakugo: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Bakugo: *agressively throws water bottle.*

Kaminari: Uh...

Sero: He’s trying to yell metal heath and wellbeing into us.

Bakugo: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU

Y/N: *crying* It’s working.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daichi: How do Y/N, Noya, and Tanaka get out of these situations?

Sugawara: *sighs* They don’t. They make a bigger mess that cancels out the first one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaminari: I’m quick at math.

Y/N: Alright. What’s 76 times 43?

Kaminari: 24

Y/N: Not even close.

Kaminari: But I was quick, wasn’t I ?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: *hanging out with Kuroo and Kenma* Onion rings are just vegetable donuts.

Kuroo: *used to them* Sure they are, babe.

Y/N: Your stomach thinks all potateos are mashed.

Kuroo: *gives then confused/worried look* Okay

Y/n: Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake.

Kuroo:

Y/N: *oblivious* Lobsters are mermaid scorpions.

Kuroo: *crying* Y/N, please, stop.

Kenma: *fascinated* No, continue please.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Levi: I could kill you if I wanted to, Y/N.

Y/N: Yeah? So could another human being.

Levi:

Y/N: So could a dog.

Levi:

Y/N: So could a very determined duck.

Levi:

Y/N: You aren’t special Levi.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kuroo: *meeting Karasuno for the first time* So what do you guys do?

Kagaeyama: I’m a setter.

Daichi: Captain and Wing Spiker

Nishinoya: Libero

Y/N: I make good life decisions.

Kuroo: That doesn’t coun-

Daichi: No, trust us. They’re our most valuable member.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Do you think I could fit 15 marshmallows into my mouth?

Ilda: You’re a hazard to society.

Bakugo: And a coward. Do twenty.

Ilda: NO-

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: *screaming* IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII FIXED IT!

Levi: What did you fix?

Y/N: EVERYTHING.

*loud exploding in background*

Y/N: ......except that.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kageyma: Fuck

Sugawara: Language!

Hinata: Shit!

Sugawara: Language!

Tsukishima: Who the fuck do you think you’re calling a bitch, you ass?!

Sugawara: Language!

Daichi: Now that’s one crazy motherfucker

Sugawara: Language!

Y/N: What the frick frack tickity tic tac snik snak, bro?

Sugawara:

Sugawara: What the fuck?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Anyone over 5′6″ doesn’t deserve happiness.

Tsukishima: I’m sorry what was that? I couldn’t hear you from all the way up here. Do you need a ladder? I can get a ladder.

Y/N: I will FUCK you UP!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I made tea.

Bakugo: I don’t want tea.

Y/N: I didn’t make you tes. This is my tea.

Bakugo: Then why did you tell me?

Y/N: Its a conversation starter.

Bakugo: Its fucking terrible.

Y/N: Oh is it? We’re conversing. Check. Mate.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: *holding a deck of cards* Who wants a Tarot reading?

Eren: Those are Pokemon cards

Y/N: *holding a card* You got Bidoof, it means fuck you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sirius: I can’t imagine what they’re planning, but I can tell you two things. We won’t like it. And it won’t be legal.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: What’s worse than a heartbreak?

Kaminari: Realizing dragons can’t blow out their candles.

Y/N:

Y/N: *tearing up* bro

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shigaraki: Why would you give a knife to Y/N!?

Toga: They felt unsafe.

Shigaraki: Now I fell unsafe!

Toga: I’m sorry.

Toga:....would you like a knife?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yashiro: Have you ever really thought about how when you look at the moon, its the same moon Shakespeare, Marie Antoinette, Van Gogh, and Cleopratra looked at?

Hanako: They all looked at the same moon. They’re all dead. The moon is killing people! WAKE UP PEOPLE!

Y/N: What? No-

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Noya: *trying to flirt* Y/N you’re like an angel without wings.

Y/N: *oblivious* So like a human being?

Noya: ....dammit

Sugawara: So how was the honeymoon?

Daichi: Y/N got super drunk, and tried to burn our marriage certificate saying “Good luck returning me without the receipt. So I’d say great>

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*in a groupchat*

Y/N: we spend a lot of our lives telling robots we aren’t robots, and doesn’t knowing that make you want to walk into the ocean? 

Sugawara: (y/n) it’s 3am please just go to sleep, i’m worried

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: You’re smiling, did something good happen today?

Tsukishima: I can’t smile because I feel like it?

Yamaguchi: Hinata tripped and fell during practice today

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kenma: Can you do the thing?

Y/N: Hm? What thing?

Kenma: The thing that never fails to make me happy

Y/N: Oh.

(Y/N): *smiles*

Kenma: Thank you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Tsukishima won’t come out of the locker room!

Kageyama: just tell him something.

Y/N: like what?

Kageyama: anything factually incorrect.

[five minutes later] Tsukishima, storming out of the locker room: did you just say the sun is a fucking planet-

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Can I get a hug?

Nishinoya: *runs away*

Y/N, disappointed: Aw...

Ennoshita: Oh, he’s coming back!

Y/N: Huh?

Nishinoya: *running full speed at Y/N*

Y/N: Oh.

Y/N, panicking: Oh shit.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kuroo: wow that shirt is great, (Y/N).

(Y/N): thanks.

Kuroo : but I bet it would look better on Kenma’s floor

Kenma: are you hitting on (Y/N)... for me?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(Y/N) : Say yes to Drugs

Yaku: Say no to drugs

Kuroo: it doesn’t matter what you tell drugs

Kuroo : because if you’re talking to drugs you’re taking Drugs

(Y/N): thanks science genius

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cop: What’re your names?

Bokuto: Don’t tell them, (Y/N)

Cop : (Y/N)...

Bokuto : shit

(Y/N): Nice going, Bokuto

Cop:

(Y/N): fuck.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tanaka: hey Y/N...

Y/N: yeah?

Tanaka: can a person breathe in a washing machine while it's on?

Y/N:

Y/N: where's Nishinoya?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: why do we sleep? i don't see the reason. what if it's addictive and the mattress companies started it to get more money?

Kuroo: babe, it's 4am. shut up and sleep

Y/N: that's exactly what they want

Kuroo:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: waffles are like pancakes but with abs

Kuroo: sometimes i would like to know how your mind works...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tendou: tell me a way to be nice to people

Y/N: not killing them

Tendou:

Tendou: that's strange but i'll take it 

Deku: I have a plan

Y/N: It can’t involve self-sacrifice.

Kirishima: Have you been yelled at by Y/N yet?

Bakugou: I’m not scared of Y/N.

Kirishima: So, no?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: In the name of the Father, son, and Holy ghost

Kaminari: Head, shoulders, knees, and toes

Y/N: Turn up your nose, strike that pose!

Y/N and Kaminari: Hey Macarena!

1-A: GO TO SLEEP

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bakugou: I’ve sent good vibes your way. They’re coming and there’s no way you can stop them.

Y/N:.....This is the most violent way I’ve been cheered up.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: What’s the fear of being murdered called?

Bakugou: ........ common sense.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I wanna give you the world, but I only have, like, 200 yen.

Sero: Come here.

Y/N: *comes closer*

Sero: *hugs you*

Sero: I don’t have any cash on me yet I have the whole world in my arms right now.

Y/N: B R U H 

Sero: Bruh.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Todoroki: How do you want your coffee?

Tokoyami: As dark and bitter as my soul.

Y/N: One glass of milk coming right up!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: *t-posing in the dorms* Good morning, parental figure.

Aizawa: Good morning, problem child.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: *does something stupid*

Bakugou: Great. I needed another reason to be attracted to you.

Y/N: ...what?

Bakugou: ANNOYED! I SAID ANNOYED!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Okay. I have this box. We are going to put what makes us happy into this box.

Ochaco: Can I put Izuku in the box?

Y/N: No. 

Ilda: Can we put Midoriya in the box?

Y/N: ...No.

Todoroki: Can I-

Y/N: WE’RE NOT PUTTING DEKU IN THE BOX!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaminari: It’s really muggy today.

Y/N: If I go outside and see all our mugs on the lawn, I will kill you.

Kaminari: *Sips coffee from bowl*

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bakugou: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak, like "look at this fucking flower, this flower is taller than I am, this flower is winning and I'm losing"

Y/N: Wow. You are not ready to hear about trees.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(i HAVE to add this one)

Canon Izuku: Alright, villain me. Time for you to be defeated once and for all-

Villain Deku: wait wait wait

Villain Deku: I’m baby

Canon Izuku: what does that even mean

Fandom: you can’t do that

Canon Izuku: WHAT

Fandom: he’s baby, you can’t just do that

Canon Izuku: but he’s a villain-

Fandom: well he’s baby so

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N:  So Denki just texted me

Y/N:  and he says, “so, don’t be worried but I did this stupid thing”

Y/N:  And I’m worried cause I already know that he’s a dumbass and has no self control

Y/N:  and he tells me, “so i got high and did this thing”

Y/N:  and I’m panicking even more

Y/N:  and he finally tells me,

Y/N:  “I bought a 900 dollar wheel of cheese from France. It should be arriving next week.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: *on the phone* hey, babe. Can you come over?

Bakugou: No, I’m grounded.

Y/N: What the hell are you grounded?

Bakugou: My mom said “son of a bitch” and I yelled HELL YEAH I AM

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: *wearing Ilda’s glasses* How do I look?

Ilda: I have no idea.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Aizawa just took the wheels from our heelyz. I feel like Lucifer dtripped of his wings.

Sero: I have to walk down the halls like a common wench and I am livid.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bakugou: Whatever you're thinking right now, stop

Y/N: What?

Bakugou: You always make that face when you're about to say something stupid to piss me off so cut it out-

Y/N: I love you

Bakugou:

Y/N:

Y/N: Also cereal qualifies as a soup

Bakugou: I fucking knew it

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tokoyami: I can't believe all these people dressed in black. All-black was my thing, and now everyone's doing it to be 'cool'. They're all posers

Y/N: Tokoyami, I cannot stress this enough. We are at Nighteye’s funeral

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I know this is random, but Dom or Sub?

Midoriya Izuku: I guess Domino's. I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaminari: Because people are often buried in their best clothes, the zombie apocalypse would be a very formal affair.

Bakugou: If I die, I’m gonna be buried in battle armour. Good luck, bitch.

Y/N: If.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Oh look, we’re under the mistletoe. You know what that means.

Todoroki: Y/N, that isn’t mistletoe.

Todoroki, waking up in the middle of the night: Oh my god, they were flirting with me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(*WHEEZE* XD)

Shouto: *singing* I’m just like you

Zuko: *echoing* I’m just like you

Shouto: you’re just like me

Zuko: *echoing* you’re just like me

Shouto & Zuko: *holding hands* it’s something anyone can see

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Kirishima playing with Y/N’s hair*

Y/N: Stop it Kirishima, you're ruining my reputation.

Kirishima: Then get off my lap.

Y/N: no

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bakugou: Your existence is confusing.

Y/N: How so?

Bakugou: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: I will now torture you.

Dabi: [raises an eyebrow, smirking] Kinky.

Y/N: [smiles] I think you are sweet and beautiful.

Dabi: [tensing up] Wait…

Y/N: [moving toward him] You deserve to be cared for.

Dabi: [backing away] No.

Y/n: [leaning forward, trapping him against a wall] Your feelings and needs are valid and deserve to be heard.

Dabi: [holding up his hands] I need a safeword!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N: Bakugou has no survival skills, his need to win has replaced them.

Kirishima: That can’t be true!

Y/N: Watch this.

Y/N: Hey Bakubabe, race you to the bottom of the stairs!

Bakugou: [yeets self out the window]

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashido: *Sighs*

Y/N: You bored?

Ashido: Yeah.

Y/N: Wanna start drama for no reason?

Ashido: Thought you'd never ask

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Midoriya: I... I think I have a crush on Todoroki.

Y/N: Congratulations, you’re officially the last to know.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bakugou: I HATE YOU, DEKU!!

Midoriya: Yeah? WELL I HATE YOU TOO!!

[An hour later]

Bakugou, crying to Y/N: H-He wasn’t supposed to say it back!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(XD REEEEE)

Shigaraki: Goodnight.

Spinner: Goodnight.

Mr Compress: Sleep tight.

Toga: Don’t let the bed bugs bite.

Magne: Tonight.

Twice: Imma fight.

Toga: Til we see the sunlight.

Magne: Tik tok.

Twice: On the clock.

Toga: But the party don’t stop-

Dabi: SHUT THE FUCK UP

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bakugou: I only feel one emotion and it is anger.

Y/N: Last night you drunk texted everyone of us a thousand heart emojis.

Vivamus, moriendum est.