A.V. Does What?!

Manhattan Sun Oct 19 noon until 6. FREE

“He taught me that I was worthless, couldn’t do any better. Taken me 25 years to unlearn that.”

“He isolated me from friends and family and I had no one to turn to when the abuse started.”

“It’s not the one day he hits you, it’s everyday he works hard to make you smaller.”

“I thought if I loved him enough he would stop being abusive.”

“#WhyIstayed promised to give him five years after he hit me the 1st time #WhyIleft after my daughter attempted to commit suicide at 4.”

These are some tweets in reaction to the horrendous video of Janay Rice and now former NFL running back Ray Rice’s domestic dispute. Once the entire video was released many people on social questioned what makes a person stay in violent relationships.

I was 16 going into my junior year of high school. Sweet Sixteen the year for more independence from your parents but not quite an adult. Time for new firsts: 1st job, 1st party, and 1st boyfriend. We met at work it was love in the way only teenagers can have, all encompassing. Everyday was rainbows, glitter, and unicorn dust. Just special. We got along very well in the beginning, then he became possessive. When his jealousy started, I brushed it off because I didn’t expect it from him. He was a “good guy” not a thug like the other guys on our street. He was nice, doing well in school, didn’t drink, didn’t party and still collected pokemon cards. Basically a stereotypical nerd. He was threatened by what he found attractive about me, my outgoing personality. The relationship to him became too good to be true and he became obsessive.

“Guys like me don’t get girls like you.”

For the past few months, New York City hairstylist Mark Bustos has volunteered his talents to help the city's most vulnerable, homeless people. With a simple phrase "I want to do something nice for you today" Bustos provides cuts to up to six people every Sunday, his only day off.

Mark, 30, has been doing this every weekend since May 2012, which was when he had traveled to the Philippines to visit his family. During the trip, he had rented a chair from a local barber shop to give haircuts to impoverished children in his neighborhood.

Although he’s given makeovers to over one hundred people, one person stands out in particular. “Jemar Banks – I’ll never forget the name,” Mark said. “After offering him a haircut and whatever food he wanted to eat, he didn’t have much to say throughout the whole process, until after I showed him what he looked like when I was done. The first thing he said to me was, ‘Do you know anyone that’s hiring?’”

On August 9th in the small town of Ferguson, MO an 18 year-old young man by the name of Michael Brown was gunned down by a local police officer. What makes this story even more frightening was that Michael was unarmed. Following the shooting the police department stalled with providing the public with crucial details including the name of the murderer, Darren Wilson. Also, the fact that Michael was shot at least 6 times including twice in the head was also withheld. The aftermath of this blatant neglect are protests from all over the world that are standing up in solidarity with Ferguson. Unfortunately, the citizens of this St. Louis suburb have faced police brutality and excessive militarize force from officials all because they want justice for this life that was cut short.

This story is a little different from what I usually post but to me being a DIY'er/Maker is more than making cookies and crafts. It is about doing anything you can, yourself including making a difference. Here are some ideas how you can do the same.

Don't shoot the messenger, be the messenger. Thankfully social media has given every one of us a "platform" to discuss certain issues. We are able to see injustice in real time and brutality goes viral. Use this to your advantage tell everyone you know about this and correct anyone deflecting away from the primary cause of this: the murder of an unarmed teen.  Seek the truth and understand you will not get it from mainstream news sources.

Chip in: Donate to the Michael Brown fund or a reputable organization/a set of dedicated and transparent individuals like #operationhelporhush.  Help out by sending monetary aid or items from a wishlist for the protesters.

via Megan Sims @The_Blackness48 on twitter

I turned 29 a little over a week ago and the celebration was amazing. immaculate, majestic, etc. Slight exaggeration but still really good. Had a picnic with my family/friends, tried escargot for the 1st time (to celebrate Bastille Day/France’s Independence Day aka my Birthday), went to an old school arcade, jumped Double Dutch in Times Square, saw a Broadway show and ended up signing Backstreet Boys in a pizza shop with my friend and a cast member from the musical Holler If Ya Hear Me. Needless to say it was a great day and I realized I really can’t sing.

  Here are 29 thoughts at 29.

I really love my family. I believe if we weren’t related I would still like them.

Who made 30 the number to be “petrified” of? Why not 28 or 32?

I am more inclined to say “that’s fine” nowadays. It saves so much energy. No need to get worked up over small things.

I have earned the right to do whatever I want.

It is a challenge to find something to do for the first time, that isn’t illegal but it is possible and it feels awesome when it does happen. This year I want to celebrate more “firsts” than “lasts.”

I never want to be able to personally identify with a Jhene Aiko song. So much teen like heartbreak it is like being 14 forever, Still catchy.

My phone is glued to my hand and I wish it wasn’t.

I hope I will never give up my desire to dance.

I put on a crop top but spent an hour alternating between a skirt, jeans and the right shorts, I felt too naked. “Modesty” is lame.

Multitasking has worked for awhile but it might be time to break up. As I have 15 tabs open on the computer.

Nothing makes you feel older than dropping a “Captain Planet” reference and the 17 year olds stare at you in silence. They. Have. No. Idea. Who. I. Am. Talking. About. That sound you hear is my mind being blown.

I like socializing but I love being alone…maybe too much.

I do miss being around my siblings.

I don’t like people who don’t like children or have no patience with them. Not to be confused with people who don’t want to be parents.

I am petrified of pregnancy, childbirth, until the child can walk/talk but kids love me. A.V. luh da kids.

Recently, I celebrated my 29th birthday *raise the roof* and I have decided to spend more time doing “firsts” than mourning “lasts.” It is the half way point of the summer but there are still some things I need to accomplish.  What is the best way to do that? A Midsummer Night’s Bucket List!

  1) Walk across the Manhattan or Brooklyn bridge at dusk or night. Something about bridges, sunsets, and lights that does it for me.

2) Watch an outdoor movie. I usually have to work but one of these days I will go. Just grab a mat, some snacks and relax in the park, rooftop or The Intrepid for free.

3) Take some  art or new aged dance class. Trapeze, Painting in the park, drunken interpretive ribbon dance, etc.

4) Go to one of those trivia/sing along bars. Nothing will prove my world renowned intelligence like answering trivia questions possibly under the influence.

5) Road trip somewhere. I really want to visit Maine but anywhere different is fine with me. Hop in the car (after renting it of course) and drive.

6) Go swimming/kayaking/water related activity… in New York. I have lived back in NY for almost five years and I have not gone swimming in this state, shameful. There are plenty of opportunities to explore New York’s waterways on kayaks for free, so there’s really no excuse for me to miss out. Hit up the Downtown Boathouse,the Brooklyn Bridge Park Boathouse, the LIC Community Boathouse, Red Hook Boaters, or Kayak Staten Island

via growingroomchilddevelopment.com

I would like to start off by saying my backyard has been in a constant disarray for about 5 years. A dream deferred, indeed. Living in Brooklyn, NY and having a backyard (especially a sizable one) is magic, fairy dust, blessings, and lucky charms all rolled into one. I had high hopes for my back yard, but my dream was hijacked by mother nature. We have weeds: but these aren't just any around the way weeds these weeds mean business. After years of pulling, ripping, spraying, and doing other God awful things to the earth I gave up. The formal name of this dream killer is called a Japanese knot weed.  Sounds like an assassin, here to kill all summer fun. The Japanese knot weed is almost impossible to eradicate. It grows very dense and high (over 5 ft.) with thick bamboo like stems. I think pandas and koalas live there now. My neighbors on the other hand had a brilliant idea to transform their outdoor space, pave it with cement. One day I will have my dream outdoor space. Sigh.

My nightmare.

No worries.

  Yesterday, I hosted a twitter chat about "outdoor entertaining" It was great and one lucky winner won this bar essentials kit.

Many things were shared but here are some of my tips to make sure you have an awesome event!

Music, food, drinks, decor (not in that order) are essentials and deserve a fair amount of thought.