Avada Edavra

YOU’VE BEEN STRUCK BY

A SMOOTH CRIMINAL

my dude

my guy

my pal

No. She was bi. She said she was bi. Most of her relationships were with women. She just HAPPENED to fall in love with a dude and marry him, and they stayed together for the rest of their lives. That doesn’t take away her sexual orientation or identity.

I feel kind of silly for just noticing this, but a quick Google search tells me that not too many other people have mentioned it, so y’all are blessed with my ridiculous meta now (including symbolism in costuming!). Be forewarned, spoilers are a natural part of this, so you should have already seen the season 1 finale at least.

Uncanny. 

(More under the cut)

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.

“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”

person i know irl: so what are your interests/hobbies?

me:

As brothers are they joinēd heart to heart;

But Cupid hath not struck them with his bow;

VERY ODD. If you like women to be covered up and low key, why wouldn’t you just go for the women that like being covered up and low key??? Why would you purposely go after a woman that is the complete opposite, ask her to be your significant other, then try to change her to fit what you want????

Joe DiMaggio married Marilyn Monroe and then wanted her to quit her career and be a housewife. He became enraged when she did this shoot and used it as an excuse to beat her so badly that concerned hotel patrons called the police and her makeup artist had to cover the bruises with makeup the next day.

When asked about that night later on, Joe DiMaggio said, “Things got out of hand, I admit it. But she pissed me off so much. She didn’t care what I thought about anything, she just wanted to do what she wanted to do.”

Arthur Miller married her, and then constantly picked on her and complained in his journals that she embarrassed him, that she was unintelligent, self-centered, a child, a spoiled brat, and a bitch.

• Adverse means detrimental and does not mean averse or disinclined.

Correct: “There were adverse effects.” / “I’m not averse to doing that.”

• Begs the question means assumes what it should be proving and does not mean raises the question.

Correct: “When I asked the dealer why I should pay more for the German car, he said I would be getting ‘German quality,’ but that just begs the question.”

• Bemused means bewildered and does not mean amused.

Correct: “The unnecessarily complex plot left me bemused.” / “The silly comedy amused me.”

• Disinterested means unbiased and does not mean uninterested.

Correct: “The dispute should be resolved by a disinterested judge.” / “Why are you so uninterested in my story?”

• Enormity means extreme evil and does not mean enormousness. [Note: It is acceptable to use it to mean a deplorable enormousness.]

Correct: The enormity of the terrorist bombing brought bystanders to tears. / The enormousness of the homework assignment required several hours of work.

• Fortuitous means coincidental or unplanned and does not mean fortunate.

Correct: Running into my old friend was fortuitous. / It was fortunate that I had a good amount of savings after losing my job.

• Homogeneous is pronounced as homo-genius and “homogenous” is not a word but a corruption of homogenized.

Correct: The population was not homogeneous; it was a melting pot.

• Ironic means uncannily incongruent and does not mean inconvenient or unfortunate.

Correct: “It was ironic that I forgot my textbook on human memory.” / It was unfortunate that I forgot my textbook the night before the quiz.

• Luxuriant means abundant or florid and does not mean luxurious.

Correct: The poet has a luxuriant imagination. / The car’s fine leather seats were luxurious.

• New Age means spiritualistic, holistic and does not mean modern, futuristic.

Correct: He is a fan of New Age mindfulness techniques. / That TV screen is made from a high-end modern glass.

• Noisome means smelly and does not mean noisy.

Correct: I covered my nose when I walked past the noisome dump. / I covered my ears when I heard the noisy motorcycle speed by.

• Parameter means a variable and does not mean a boundary condition, a limit.

Correct: The forecast is based on parameters like inflation and interest rates. / We need to work within budgetary limits.

• Simplistic means naively or overly simple and does not mean simple or pleasingly simple.

Correct: His simplistic answer suggested he wasn’t familiar with the material. / She liked the chair’s simple look.

• Tortuous means twisting and does not mean torturous.

Correct: The road through the forest was tortuous. / Watching their terrible acting for two hours was a torturous experience.

my old therapist derek, from across the reception area, seeing me for the first time after the summer of 2015: HEY DID YOU SEE AGE OF ULTRON?? IT SUCKED, RIGHT???

“You’re bassicly a glorified sad lizard.” (It makes sense with context)

“Damn girl you need to get your shit together.”

“Go home and cry. Stop drinking in bathtubs. Eat something that isn’t bleach or memes.”