Inventor of silly :3

[white knuckling the bathroom sink] but i stay silly :3 but i stay silly :3 but i stay sil

two-day delivery like they had Prime shipping.

pretentious moment incoming but why is everyone's idea of fashion so fucking boring these days. why the fuck did my manager just ask me "what's with the scarf". "what's with the scarf" fuck man do I need a reason to wear a faggy little scarf now? you could just say "nice scarf man". what's with your attitude

tumblr user pisshandkerchief is right.

don’t kill yourself because the internet is going to be really funny when Elon gets assassinated

your bed is probably as happy to see you as you are to see it. ‘here comes the warmth slab’ it thinks

wrong it thinks “god hope this dipshit doesnt spill beans all over me again who tf eats beans in bed”

stop reblogging this new year new me i havent spilled beans in bed ONCE this year

uh oh

It gets funnier the earlier in the year you reblog it

NOTHING IS FUNNIER THAN THE FACT THAT THE ORIGINAL “UH OH” WAS MADE ON JANUARY 4TH?

happy uh oh day

nosferatu? non. VOSferatu. c'est pas mon problème

this is incredibly funny. and i only know about 15 words in french

My manager was in the break room with me and she said 'I don't ever remember oranges being THIS hard to peel' and I just responded 'they're making them harder to peel' without thinking and she looked and me and said. Why?

once you start saying shit like "yayy" "yippee" and "hehe" theres no going back

I hate how people will look at popular indie artists who had one or two songs go viral on TikTok and start making fun of anybody who listens to them. "Oh you listen to Lemon Demon, Will Wood, Jack Stauber, Glass Animals, and Mother Mother? Tsk, don't you know that is stupid TikTok neurodivergent white transmasc preteen music? It's so mid and bad you should listen to real music–" you are a pit of misery

People can't just say "I don't like this music" anymore they gotta call you gay and autistic for listening to a band that had one song go viral