The boredom of gods and mortals
I need espresso beansālove? Can you pass me that small black jar?ā
āYouāre going to need to be more specific. I'm looking at 12 and all of them smell cursed.ā
āDonāt touch those! I mean the small black jar with the silverāNO gold trim!ā
āMhmm, yes, that narrows it down to about 7. Looks like weāre getting somewhere! Mind if I play a game of eenie-meenie-miney-mo toāā
āNo chance! Weāre trying to summon Lokiāā
āā¦who is god mischief and loves all things chaotic!ā
āIf it fails we can do the thing.ā
āYou mean the thing with bunny ears and fluffy handcuāā
āAHH! Iām so excitedāā
āThatās if this fails.ā
āRight!! Right! Right! Okay!ā
Gods are fickle beings and pretty much do whatever the hell they want. Witches and priests, celebrities and gays at their wits end try to find them. They brew teas, stitch poppets, light shit on fire, fuck themselves in front of a mirrorāall so they can feel their presenceābut no amount of recipes or divination spells will get them to come. In the end, you have to catch them on a day when theyāre bored.
Today? Loki was fucking bored. Today? Two witchy gays want something to talk about after they finished fuxking to the Heathers soundtrack. Today? Their little sanctuary smells like sensualityādark chocolate mingling with baked goods and a bowl of surprisingly well seasoned vegan fried chicken. Okay, that last one Loki probably couldāve done without, but fuck it! They seemed like a decent way to kill time. And hey, if not? Satanās eternal booty call still stood.
āOkay, so youāre going with that one, right?ā
Blue hairāpunk rocker blue, not frost blue, Loki noted. British accent, pale skin, Pink teeā¦as in, Pink the singer, though, the tee was also pink. She looks smug.
Short fade, one silver stud in their ear, brown eyes and skin. Also looks smug. They have a well-loved tank top and smell of denial.
āOh, god of chaos, hear ourāā
Alright, no. Loki has decided that he does not, in fact, wish to be prayed to or called ādearā anything. Heās also decided that for now, heās a dude. He marveles at their faces that honestly look less surprised than he wouldāve liked. The blue haired girl seems mildly annoyed if anything. Loki has officially done a cunt block and he finds it very amusing.
āWell, what? This was your idea. You just called me here forāā
āHeās a Nordic god. Iām sure he knows aboutāā
āShhh. Okay! Wow, umā¦Lokiā¦ā¦ā
Loki is hoovering, mid-air, appearing to them in riot gear.
āYes, I am, in fact, Loki.ā She tilts her head to the side, her voice softening, hair and nails that were already painted black grow until they look like very small knives.
āPleased to make your acquaintance~ā
She throws a wink at the person with one stud and finally decides to stop being lazy and learn their name. She scrapes the very surface of their brain and finds the name Kayla. But itās faded, almost illegiblely so. She moves a little furtherānot far enough to snoop, mind you. Sheās decided that there are some things even she doesnāt desire to know. She finds it there, tucked in the corner, in bold letters. Arden.
Arden just rolls their eyes, good naturedly and looks lovingly at Blake.
āSo, why was I called here? if you donāt mind my asking.ā
āWell,ā Blake says, snapping out of whatever the opposite of post nut clarity is. āMy girlfriend and I kind of just wanted to know if you were realā¦ā She looks guilty, but sheās already in this far, so thereās no point stopping. āWe were also kind ofā¦sort ofā¦a little bitā¦bored.ā
Loki, now a dude again, gives them both a āoh, come the fuck onā look. Even though he knows a few things these two love birds donāt. First, Arden didnāt agree to help with this because they had nothing better to do or even (mostly) because it would end in sex. A quick glance into Ardenās mind reveals a few things and all of them were pointing to what Loki will loving call, an egg. Secondly, this isnāt the first time they, Arden, have considered summoning them. And it probably wonāt be the last. Thirdly, Blake is very much cheating on Arden and Arden is ignoring that instinct. As they talk, Loki decides to do what theyāyes theyādo best. They tamper with shit. They move the name a little closer to the front of their mind and consider increasing Ardenās suspicion, but instead, turn Blakeās guilt up by 5% for every hour that passes.
After they finish asking thier questions, they seem awkward so Loki blesses their space and all the witchy shit in it. She goes to see Satan.
āFuck, love! He was incredible! Iām almost not upset that we canātā¦you knowā¦ā
āWe can do side Bā¦if thatās what you want~ā
And, for today, they are, to the best of their knowledge, a loyal girl with her handsome butch, knotted together under a duvet the color of crow feathers, making something that looks an awful lot like love.