I need espresso beans—love? Can you pass me that small black jar?”

“You’re going to need to be more specific. I'm looking at 12 and all of them smell cursed.”

“Don’t touch those! I mean the small black jar with the silver—NO gold trim!”

“Mhmm, yes, that narrows it down to about 7. Looks like we’re getting somewhere! Mind if I play a game of eenie-meenie-miney-mo to—“

‘No chance! We’re trying to summon Loki—“

“…who is god mischief and loves all things chaotic!”

“Okay, yes…but…”

“If it fails we can do the thing.”

“You mean the thing with bunny ears and fluffy handcu—“

“YES! That thing.”

“AHH! I’m so excited—“

‘That’s if this fails.”

“Right!! Right! Right! Okay!”

Gods are fickle beings and pretty much do whatever the hell they want. Witches and priests, celebrities and gays at their wits end try to find them. They brew teas, stitch poppets, light shit on fire, fuck themselves in front of a mirror—all so they can feel their presence—but no amount of recipes or divination spells will get them to come. In the end, you have to catch them on a day when they’re bored.

Today? Loki was fucking bored. Today? Two witchy gays want something to talk about after they finished fuxking to the Heathers soundtrack. Today? Their little sanctuary smells like sensuality—dark chocolate mingling with baked goods and a bowl of surprisingly well seasoned vegan fried chicken. Okay, that last one Loki probably could’ve done without, but fuck it! They seemed like a decent way to kill time. And hey, if not? Satan’s eternal booty call still stood.

“Okay, so you’re going with that one, right?”

Blue hair—punk rocker blue, not frost blue, Loki noted. British accent, pale skin, Pink tee…as in, Pink the singer, though, the tee was also pink. She looks smug.

“Yep. Thdt one.”

Short fade, one silver stud in their ear, brown eyes and skin. Also looks smug. They have a well-loved tank top and smell of denial.

“Oh, god of chaos, hear our—“

Alright, no. Loki has decided that he does not, in fact, wish to be prayed to or called “dear” anything. He’s also decided that for now, he’s a dude. He marveles at their faces that honestly look less surprised than he would’ve liked. The blue haired girl seems mildly annoyed if anything. Loki has officially done a cunt block and he finds it very amusing.

“See? I told you!”

“Damnit, you did.”

“Well?”

“Well, what? This was your idea. You just called me here for—“

“Moral support!”

“He’s a Nordic god. I’m sure he knows about—“

‘Shhh. Okay! Wow, um…Loki……”

Loki is hoovering, mid-air, appearing to them in riot gear.

“Yes, I am, in fact, Loki.” She tilts her head to the side, her voice softening, hair and nails that were already painted black grow until they look like very small knives.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance~”

She throws a wink at the person with one stud and finally decides to stop being lazy and learn their name. She scrapes the very surface of their brain and finds the name Kayla. But it’s faded, almost illegiblely so. She moves a little further—not far enough to snoop, mind you. She’s decided that there are some things even she doesn’t desire to know. She finds it there, tucked in the corner, in bold letters. Arden.

Arden just rolls their eyes, good naturedly and looks lovingly at Blake.

“So, why was I called here? if you don’t mind my asking.”

“Well,” Blake says, snapping out of whatever the opposite of post nut clarity is. “My girlfriend and I kind of just wanted to know if you were real…” She looks guilty, but she’s already in this far, so there’s no point stopping. “We were also kind of…sort of…a little bit…bored.”

Loki, now a dude again, gives them both a ‘oh, come the fuck on’ look. Even though he knows a few things these two love birds don’t. First, Arden didn’t agree to help with this because they had nothing better to do or even (mostly) because it would end in sex. A quick glance into Arden’s mind reveals a few things and all of them were pointing to what Loki will loving call, an egg. Secondly, this isn’t the first time they, Arden, have considered summoning them. And it probably won’t be the last. Thirdly, Blake is very much cheating on Arden and Arden is ignoring that instinct. As they talk, Loki decides to do what they—yes they—do best. They tamper with shit. They move the name a little closer to the front of their mind and consider increasing Arden’s suspicion, but instead, turn Blake’s guilt up by 5% for every hour that passes.

After they finish asking thier questions, they seem awkward so Loki blesses their space and all the witchy shit in it. She goes to see Satan.

“Fuck, love! He was incredible! I’m almost not upset that we can’t…you know…”

“We can do side B…if that’s what you want~”

“God, yes!”

(A very pointless rant)

Every book with a gay storyline features a non-white, gay character named…you guessed it. Fucking AMIR.

Is there an origin behind it? Do people just love the name? Is it just a quick way to say that this character isn’t white without giving a description? I have no idea why they do this. Also, 9/10 times the main character is a blonde-haired white dude who’s names *gasp* is NOT the same in every book!

Ya’ll know damn well there are more names than that!

Okay, book rant over. I was just reading lots of gay books and noticed that.

- Have confidence. Don’t just spread your legs all the time, though that helps, but try to act how you would after you transition. Trust me, it works.

- There is such a thing as dressing ‘too masc’. A lot of guys will slip into butch  Territory. That’s obviously okay if you want that, but if you don’t, add a chain or studs(it’s OKAY to wear BOTH earrings). Flannels are okay, as is any punk style(just maybe avoid bright hair and lipstick). Obviously don’t if it increases dysphoria.

- This one is for black trans guys…GET A LINEUP! Trust me, it works. I really don’t know why, but it is a lifesaver.

-Cologne is your friend.

- Get a buff and shine. It looks good and masc, and will help you on your quest for whoever you’re dating.

- Baby powder is GOOD actually. Keep it close because chafing’s a bitch

- Assertive does not mean obnoxious

- Make sure that at the end of the day, you can look in the mirror, at your body, and call it home. Transition(whatever that looks like for you) should feel like coming home.

I think that’s it

-Bye-

P.S, DMs are open if you have any more ideas for new posts or questions you have in general. Take care of yourself.

Light licks my unwilling eyes

As I’m forced to stare

Who’s there?

I don’t know where this wrongness ends

And I begin

Listen, listen, listen

You wear tears as jewelry

Claim I’m the manufacturer

While you show everyone who will look

How it’s been polished to shine

And dine on the dinners it pays for

I am naturally Unnatural

Comfortable In the cocoon of chaos I am

That opposition you present to hate

But secretly bate

It’s fate

Right?

Claim I’m day disguised as night

And pray that I’ll be prey

And trade the dark smoke I’ve been stitched with

For hymns and Him

Disregarding that for me

He is less a memory

More an ever present nightmare

That leers and feasts on fears

Masquerading as adoration

You and I are lie and lie

Patience and ply

Player and toy

Artist and unamused muse

Views collide as you ‘guide’

Me to self annihilation

You want a nice summation of this

Memory of me

Sanity

You say, is leaving me

While you steal away my silences

And gasp

As it hits you that my alliances

Stop apologizing for

-being queer

-being trans

-being introverted

-not sharing someone’s religion

-your disability, if you have one

-not being able to immediately forgive someone who hurt you

Life’s too short for that bullshit. If what you are/what you do effects no one negatively…stop apologizing.

T

You can still wear boxers and even pack on your period. If you can’t afford those absorbent boxers, just use tampons or  menstrual cups.(the cups are safer).

And…I said this on the last list, but…..

Make a playlist, okay?