#greiving

I often forget how much grief actually consumes me. Simply driving past the old turnings to her bungalow and carehome brung back memories that just spiraled into more memories. I can't believe she is actually gone. And it's 2 years in October since we lost her. All these memories also reminded me of my favourite teacher, the one person who really stuck by my side and helped me out as much as he could and assured me I wasn't alone. I still miss him even though he's alive. Although he is now on the other side of the world. I hope he comes back soon and keeps his 'I'll see you soon' words he said to me the day before he got on that fight. I would do anything to see him again, especially right now. I need a hug.

I want someone that I love and that loves me to touch me so bad. sigh. I miss the heat my body emanates when I'm in love and it's mutual. The passion just flows out of my body into caresses and pleasure. The want and need to please the one I love and watch them reach climax. Oh my body and heart ache for it.

I feel like nothing really prepares you for how painful silence can be after a major loss. Homes that were once screaming with life are suddenly quiet and dead. The phrase silent as a tomb really gains new meaning when you're clearing out a loved ones home alone.

please no. Please-please don’t l-leave me. I need you. We-we never had a chance to go on that d-date . Please I’ll do anything. Please. Please. I- need- please.

Her smile would light up the room. Her smile brings light to me. I’m going to fill a room with that smile. So everyone who visits will smile when they see that light shining bright in that room.