#greiving

And now she's gone and it's going to hurt for a long time I don't want her to be gone. I still kind of feel like im in some super realistic nightmare but I know im not even if I wish I was. Having to do car on a corpse that you desperately wich was alive hurts. Being told what you already know hurts. Even feeling numb hurts (but that might be cause I know it'll just stop being numbness and turn into me bawling like a baby and collapsing)

Four months today.

One hundred and twenty days since you left my side and crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Sometimes it feels like you were just here yesterday, and other times it feels like an eternity since I last felt the warmth of your fur or looked into your sweet eyes.

The sharp, stinging pain from the beginning has settled into a quiet, heavy ache. I am learning how to carry your absence, but please never think that means I am forgetting.

Today, I find myself remembering:

The unique comfort of your presence when the world got too loud.

The way you could turn an ordinary day into a good one just by being yourself.

The absolute certainty that we belonged together.

I miss you just as fiercely today as I did four months ago. I hope you are running fast, resting deeply, and that somehow, wherever you are, you can feel the love I send up to you every single day.

You left paw prints on my soul, Kano, and those will never fade.

Forever missing you,

With Michelle Trachtenberg and Nicholas Brendon dead too that makes 3/7 of the Season 6 Scoobies deceased.

I highly recommend a Once More With Feeling sing-and-cry-along.

im so heartbroken she was my best friend

Tomorrow marks three months.

Twelve weeks have passed since you headed toward the Rainbow Bridge, and yet I still find myself reaching for you. They say that grief is just love with no place to go, and lately, I feel like I’m overflowing with it.

I’ve lived through ninety days of "firsts" without you, and none of them have been easy. I still catch myself checking the floor before I step, or glancing at the door when I come home, hoping—just for a heartbeat—that this was all a dream and you’ll be there to greet me.

What I want you to know today:

• You are still a part of my day. I talk to you in my head, and I see "signs" of you in the small things.

• The bond hasn't faded. Even though I can’t pet your head or hear your breath, the connection we built over the years feels just as strong.

• I am trying. I am trying to smile at your photos instead of only crying, though some days the tears still win.

I hope you’re finding the best nap spots up there and that you can feel every ounce of the love I’m sending your way. You were my best friend, my shadow, and my heart. That will never change, no matter how many months go by.