et tu, bruh?

i understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside

its literally so funny when someone in a mystery dies and everyones just like "okay well clearly everyone here is a suspect we all hated that bitch"

This is so funny

i just know you greek mythology bitches are gonna love this

my job in the comune will be to fuck your mom

mine is to make love to yours. step your game up.

i just got promoted to giving your father earthshattering prostate orgasms

my father is a libertarian so nice try but he would never be “pro state”

“baking sheet?” holds so much weight

Please make home economics mandatory again.

there is no greater mystery than What Was That Deleted Video In My Youtube Playlist

sorry cant hang out. too scared

I’m on medication that can make me spacey af, which can be a problem when I’m driving–like yesterday, for example, when my best friend was trying to help me avoid a pothole he said “to the left,” and I just mumbled “take it back now y'all” and hit the pothole straight on

Literally crying

this is my favorite post on this website

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

on the third day, jesus was coming out of his cave and he was doing just fine

judas: it was only a kiss, how did it end up like this