Ocean Breeze

These thoughts crawl into my mind like insects that make their way into houses from the smallest cracks they find. One day the house is tidy and bare and the next, the floor and ceiling are covered in mites and spiders. I confuse the spiders for butterflies.  Soon, all the feathers will fall out of my pillows and my bed will become a mess. The wooden chairs will rot and the window sills will collect more dust than an abandoned sanctuary that no one even dares to trespass. These thoughts will become the monster I’ve tried to protect everyone else from; but I’ve been so busy running, I forget that eventually we all burn out and they are catching up to me. They’re here.

Before I met you, I never knew there were so many things to love in one person.

so, you’re a straight girl so, you saw one photo of ruby rose so, you say “oh my god she can turn me gay” you know what?  that’s fine. that’s fine by me.  go ahead. turn gay for natalie dormer,  and for lupita,  and for katy perry, and for beyonce, and for nicki. “oh, i would go gay for her.” would you? would you really?  go ahead, straight girl. turn gay. be my guest.  you wanna be gay?  fucking do it.  come out to your parents. watch them slowly retreat behind slammed doors.  is that enough for you?  go to a pride parade, and have stones thrown at you, come to my country, so the government can threaten you with a 5 year prison penalty for a public or online demonstration of homosexuality. are you gay for her yet? are you, are you?  why don’t you walk the halls of your school with the words gay painted like a target at the back of your head,  with the same straight boys you flirt with  screaming  s l u r s at you. have you had enough? have you?  so you would “turn gay” will you?  say it again. say it again, i dare you,  say it again,  people like you made it so that  when i came out to my best friends, she spent a month thinking i had been joking about loving girls.  say it again. that you would turn gay for a pretty face. my mother tried to convince me i was imagining things.  “there is a difference between thinking a girl is pretty and liking a girl. girls don’t like other girls” tell me how you have “gone gay” maybe i will find a way to unbecome it, and be straight again so my parents will love me so my friends will come back to me so i will not have to be so damn scared all the time  straight girls, you do not “turn gay” because you saw some shoulders, and an undercut, and  your aesthetic appreciation  will never, ever equate to what i had to go through,  looking at my friends and saying “i am in love with you” and her saying “i know” because she thought i was not being serious. say it again, straight girls. say that you’re turning gay. will you stay at the next pride with me, with the world against us? will you correct your parents when they say gay is a disease? you do not turn gay. you do not “go” gay.  if you are just realising that there is more to your heart than loving boys - then you should think about it. but if you are just saying that because you are entertained by the idea of a glamorous aesthetically arranged photoshoot - i don’t want to hear it. we don’t want to hear it. enough already. so, you want to be gay for ruby rose?  say it again, and again, and again, until your best friends braves telling you “i think i love girls too” and then what? and then what? and then what? you are not ready to be gay at all.  straight girls - for us this is war. straight girls - how do i say this and remain politically correct? shut up.