isnt it romantic?

christmas sucks again at my dumb fucking family's house

men really be like “well this woman has studied this subject her whole life, and i am a man, so we have equal knowledge on this”

it’s ok you could have just said “i hate men”

okay, i hate men

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

Aaaaaaaaand You're banished from my realm

oh my god you prefer cold weather should we tell everyone should we throw a party should we invite the thing

Hey bitches. Let’s fuck Monday hard

Hey bitches. Let’s fuck Tuesday hard

Celibacy Wednesday

Hey bitches. Let’s fuck Thursday hard

sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.

freaks me out just a little that when you're inside a vagina you are surrounded by pelvic bone

all tumbrlinas come from a common ancestor