let's make a stone statue and beat it with chains

sponge bob square pants!

imagine you're a 1/1 soldier hanging out with your other soldier buddies and an opponent casts like a cyclonic rift and you're like "haha guys back to the hand we go!" and they all turn and wordlessly give you the saddest look and you notice they're all named something like stalwart protector or legion initiate and you're just named soldier, and your skin starts to feel really thin and your insides feel hollow, and the cyc rift is moving down the stack and players are passing priority, you realize you're not even human like the others you're just a soldier. and then someone force of wills the cyc rift, and you're back to being fine, you untap, you're declared as an attacker, but you're a little more hesitant than normal because you know when you die there will be no grave for you