whoops

having to pretend to be a different person at all times in order for people to accept you is exhausting. its debilitating.

its humiliating.

because often you dont get to experience life as your genuine self, and youre constantly afraid of rejection.

for years, i suffered through people making suggestions of things that were things i had done, and either weren’t worth the effort or they actually made things worse. i told them this, and if i was still having any issues with the same problem they’d say something about “well if you’re not gonna listen to any suggestions…” when I did. they’re the one who didn’t listen when i told them that doesn’t work for me. They assume that because I didn’t try it in front of them (which is often impossible), I never tried it. I tried doing my homework as soon as I got home. I tried doing my homework at the table, I tried working where I was comfortable. I tried listening to music, I tried working in silence. I tried using a planner, I tried setting reminders on my phone, I tried. I tell people that I have executive functioning issues and they say that I have to work on it like I haven’t been doing that as long as I’ve had to do things and it’s so much better than it was before. I’m as able as I am now because I’ve spent 18 years working on it.

One of my friends has ADHD, and at one point when her grades dropped her parents took her phone, despite her telling them that the only way she can focus on her homework is to listen to music, for which she needs her phone.

I was in a study hall with another friend, who also has ADHD. Sometimes, they would be able to focus and do their work. Others, they would end up being entirely unable to and would do other stuff. The “instructional support” person would start bothering them about it, insist that they try. As if they hadn’t already done so.

Instead they’d say it was because I liked Pokemon too much after it stopped being cool, or my clothes looked ridiculous and I wore the same pair of jeans 3 days a week, or that I was just weird/nerdy/unpopular. In many, many cases, that is what neurodiversity looks like. Not someone with an obvious disability, but someone who’s just weird.

I see so many allistics and neurotypicals on here that claim to be anti-ableism but turn around and make jokes at the expense of people who are eccentric but harmless.

[Image: tweet from Heather Lindsaychen (@oceana1009): “Reframing motivation not as an act of will, but a thing that naturally occurs when I am rested, fed, and am taking things at my own slow pace has helped me a lot“]

Hey, here is a nice insight for those beating themselves up for their low motivation.

“That’s right…. my son’s paediatrician says that my autistic way of parenting supports my son too well for him to be traumatised enough for a diagnosis, so we should let school traumatise him and come back later…

…Which brings me to thinking about how we identify autism in the children who are now being raised by autistic parents in a respectful and supportive way. The children who have experienced acceptance of their autistic neurology from birth and who have never been exposed to harmful therapies.

someone: yeah, you know it??

You can even make it double sided!