Moved!

What if everything gets better in 2016

deploy the boy

lmao this man smells like shit and he looks like he asks all his non white friends if he can say the n word

this man’s j cole’s biggest fan

this man probably still listens to machine gun kelly

this man’s shoelaces are probably filthy as shit

this man probably wears the same pair of nasty ass joggers everyday w/ the blown out hole in the crotch

why are you sayin all this about yourself?

don’t even get me started on you boy……….

you use doctor pepper bottles as shoes, you you smell like a bistro that let pastrami sit and rot on the counter for a week, you practice super saiyan poses in your room when nobody’s home

you wear size 54 dickies. your toenails are upside down. you smell like 2 month old hotdog buns. you probably got power ranger undies

you bite your fingernails into a bowl and eat them like frosted flakes. you cry everytime you watch Rob Schneider in The Animal, you use your crusty tighty whities as coffee filters, you paint your pants on so you don’t have to change them but you just end up sweating them off anyways when you reenact super saiyan poses

you suck the gunk outta ur upside down toenails. you smell like giraffe lips and diet pepsi. you probably use your crusty cum filled tube socks as a headband and act out the karate kid. the skin on your forehead is probably pregnant from coming into contact w/ so much of your jizzum. your armpits are the same color as the pitsburgh steelers

you eat wet naps to clean out your insides, your blood will water the soil in my new world, you sit on a bench in the mall and you lock fingers with your toes and send snapchats pretending you’re holding somebody’s hand, your blood will water the soil in my new world

you’re down in hell burning in the fire. you’re burning and tickling satan’s toesies while i fuck your wife up here on earth. you’re in the hot hot fire of hell while your mom and wife suck me down so gooooooooooood. chris farley is down there w/ you saying “hey you know that bryce guy is up in the earth realm getting head like a barbershop” and you can’t say anything bc you’re just bones bc your skin’s been burnt off by the hellfire

You’re hallucinating because of how long you’ve been falling down to hell to burn in hell with satan, when you get to hell you will be Satan’s first meal, bryce bacon because your ass is cooked, your name is bryce instead of bruce because when your parents were signing your birth certificate and started crying because of how proud they were to have such a wonderful son, you eat KY jelly on your sandwiches

no i change my mind… you’re down in the underworld. you’re down in ancient greek hell being made into hades’ beef stroganoff. your name is sid stroganoff and i bet everyone says you had a big beautiful brain. you use earwax instead of mustard motherfucker

I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you

I grew up before the term 'thigh gap' was invented I grew up before 'hip dip' was invented I was born before 'muffin top' was a thing before 'clean girl look' was a thing before 'glass skin' was a thing before razoring off peach fuzz was a thing and I'm so so so fucking tired of us inventing new concepts purely for the purpose of convincing people to hate their own bodies enough to buy products

Last time Tuberculosis ran through the USA a small number of people got it on purpose to look skinny and waifish and delicate and used makeup to look flushed and bony and when the Victorians figured out tapeworms people would infect themselves on purpose to starve themselves smaller and women and now in the year of our lord 2026 there is a noticeable fraction of the USAmerican population genuinely thrilled about a treatment-resistant microbial parasite that makes you shit and vomit your brains out for a month because side effects include weight loss and STILL we talk about being skinny like it's the natural default setting for all healthy people as if it's a self-sustaining standard and not an imaginary goal that we are constantly constantly constantly beating ourselves with a whip to acheive

i want lists and solutions by the time i finish this jiyuiceh box. warning ⚠️ I. AM. TIRSTY! and it is ᶠʳᵘᶦᵗ punch! and it is delicious

It exists and it's called Portland, Oregon

We just put out a 1.1 version to fix some bugs and re-add some small missing dialogue- so if you haven’t played the game yet, check this version out!

give me your most controversial music opinion

the beatles were one ugly guy moving really fast

what if there was a show where every character was gay and you had the token straight guy character who acted really stereotypical and was into cars beers and women and everyone was like OH STRAIGHT LARRY YOU’RE SO FUNNY AND STRAIGHT

#it’s been done

Thanks for this addition omfg that is hilarious