ENTFERNE DICH

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

playing stupid games i can't wait to see what kind of prizes they have

YAYY

Howling

yesterday i had a nice southern teenager call me "ma'am" and then look at me and go, in a well-meaning tone, "uhhhh, if you go by ma'am. sorry if not." and i had to be like yeah man ma'am is fine. appreciate you being inclusive though. i could almost see the little warning pop up in his UI-- hold up! people with blue hair often have pronouns. are you sure you want to address this individual with a gendered term?

always thinking about that anti abortion story where the baby came out the pussy laughing and the drs immediately started beating the shit out of it

Planet Suckulon 5 has declared war on Earth

lol this slaps

HOLD BABY JESUS RANSOM UNTIL ST. ANTHONY RETURNS YOUR FREAKING KEYS

There's an entire category of Catholic folk magic that involves threatening and abusing statues of the saints until they do what you want! A famous example is burying a statue of St Joseph upside down in your yard to sell your house; once it's sold, you dig up the statue and "reward" it. The folklorist Sabina Magliocco talks about how Italian folk magic, in particular, has a strong quid pro quo element: in Sardinia, for example, villagers would throw parades for saints and carry their statues around town to ward off drought, but if the saint failed to come through, they'd dunk it in the well headfirst, and keep doing it until the rains came. So if you buy this statue and Anthony doesn't do his job, you can always waterboard him!

My favorite sport to play is sleep in bed. Here are the rules: you need a bed and a blanky and a pillow. You lay on bed with your head on pillow and blanky on you. You lay there and fall asleep for some time until morning. This means you win. Im going to go play it now

My DETESTED sport to play is DIE in NARROW CREVICE. Here are the rules: you need a NARROW CREVICE and a SNAPPING TURTLE and a ASBESTOS. You lay IN the NARROW CREVICE with your head on SNAPPING TURTLE and ASBESTOS on you. You lay there and fall DEAD for some time until NEVER. This means you LOSE. Im going to play it now