I experienced trauma at birth. I became numb. I didn't feel like my baby was my own. I cried to the doctors. Something was wrong. We were separated at birth and there was some sort of disconnect, I cried, my body doesn't understand she is mine.
Post natal depression, they said it was, despite my cries that it was not.
But the reality was, I discovered- after four years of battling the mind and more, I had lost parts of me. The person who carried her. All the people who would have made up my child's mother, not dormant, but gone. Fled.
All these years. Lost.
I was a system, and didn't even know.


















