Beam Me The Fuck Up

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

a lot of writing is sort of watching the film in your head like oh sorry can’t write the chapter yet i have to repeat hallucinate the dialogue first

once these 15 million different stressful situations resolve themselves I’m gonna be so normal again. I can be normal and not exhausted

One of the best things about being a writer is thinking of something small you can add to your work that’s just. Devastating. Like you’re sitting there going. Oh. That would be diabolical. People would get really riled up about that. Exquisite. Let’s do it.

i need to come up with a way to say “i mean like, movies for grownups” that doesn’t make me feel like a villain

*peeks in the replies* *gets really nervous and locks my house up and leaves*