The Signs As...

Aries: Jess Mariano

Taurus: Luke Danes

Gemini: Emily Gilmore

Cancer: Sookie St. James

Leo: Lorelai Gilmore

Virgo: Paris Gellar

Libra: Rory Gilmore

Scorpio: Ms. Patty

Sagittarius: Logan Huntzberger

Capricorn: Richard Gilmore

Aquarius: Kirk Gleason

Headphones: Aquarius, Cancer, Aries, Libra, Taurus, Pisces

Aries: Flo

Energetic and sociable

Easily excited but also easily bored

good for gaming and physical activity

Taurus: Skywalker OG

relaxing + like a warm hug

named after Star Wars (a known Taurus love)

the best when you want to marathon movies with snacks and loved ones

tendency to couchlock (which is perfect b/c Taurus’ are strong af and love a good nap)

Gemini: Chernobyl

Energetic, coffee buzz

Alert and witty head high

can easily veer into paranoia during social situations (Gemini’s anxiety over how others perceive them)

Cancer: Thai Haze

Produces strong emotions of happiness

Incredibly creative, tends to indulge in nostalgia

Ranges from energizing to relaxing 

Leo:  Blue Dream

Well-regarded, distinct

Personable in social situations

Gentle euphoria which eases stress like how Leos are adept and determined to put loved ones at ease

Virgo: Grapefruit

Incredibly productive, great for doing work

Effective at fighting migraines (Virgo value on health)

Amazing fragrance (like idk what it is but Virgos always smell fucking fantastic. Whatever demon y’all sacrifice to for that: keep it up)

Libra: Super Lemon Haze

Uplifting, quick to laugh

Become passionate and talkative about interests

Harmonious and easy-going, reduces tension through increased empathy

Scorpio: Orange Crush

evokes a heady high that initially energizes but can leave you exhausted

great taste

makes you thirsty af (strong cotton mouth)

people usually either love or hate it

Sagittarius: Durban Poison

makes you enamored with the possibilities of the future

PERFECT companion when traveling, exploring, road tripping

generates a warmth and enthusiasm that only Sags can produce in loved ones (honestly, they somehow always know how to make you feel better, even when you’ve had the shittiest day)

Capricorn: Headband

should not be taken lightly, will  fuck you up if you go too far

intensely focused and determined head-high

often evokes a physical feeling that the crown of one’s head is being hugged  (not only fitting its namesake, but the Capricorn’s strong intellect)

Aquarius: Lamb’s Bread

creative and expressive

intense joy in laughter and humor

also great for smoking alone (Aquarius’ independence)

Pisces: Jack the Ripper

cuts deep. (honestly THE strain for reading poetry)

intuitive, highly influenced by surroundings and mood

polarizing extremes in emotion: either a) delighted with the universe or b) in the midst of an existential crisis

“It’s Glah-day”:  Gemini, Capricorn, Scorpio, Cancer, Libra, Pisces

I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Sagittarius, Aries

It’s Not Right But It’s Okay - Capricorn, Gemini

I Will Always Love You - Scorpio, Leo

Greatest Love of All - Aquarius, Virgo

How Will I Know - Cancer, Taurus

Aries: Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters

Taurus: Star Tours

Gemini: Matterhorn

Cancer: Peter Pan’s Flight

Leo: Splash Mountain

Virgo: Thunder Mountain Railroad

Libra: Pirates of the Caribbean

Scorpio: Roger Rabbit’s Car Toon Spin

Sagittarius: Indiana Jones, Temple of the Forbidden Eye

Capricorn: Space Mountain

Aquarius: Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

Aries: Claire Dunphy

Taurus: Jay Pritchett

Gemini: Lily Tucker-Pritchett

Cancer: Phil Dunphy

Leo: Hayley Dunphy

Virgo: Mitchell Pritchett

Libra: Manny Delgado

Scorpio: Sal

Sagittarius: Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

Capricorn: Alex Dunphy

Aquarius: Luke Dunphy

Pine Sol: Leo, Aries, Sagittarius, Taurus

Clorox: Capricorn, Virgo, Cancer, Scorpio

Aries: Bobby Briggs

Taurus: Donna Hayward

Gemini: Jocelyn Packard

Cancer: James Hurley

Leo: Lucy Moran

Virgo: Deputy Tommy ‘Hawk’ Hill

Libra: Audrey Horne

Scorpio: Laura Palmer

Sagittarius: Sheriff Harry S. Truman

Capricorn: Norma Jennings

Aquarius: Special Agent Dale Cooper

Pancakes: Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn, Leo

Waffles: Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius, Pisces

Ilana Wexler: Aries, Scorpio, Aquarius

Abbi Abrams: Virgo, Libra, Leo

Lincoln Rice: Taurus, Sagittarius, Capricorn

Aries: Jake

Taurus: BMO

Gemini: Marceline

Cancer: Tree Trunks

Leo: Lumpy Space Princess

Virgo: Lady Rainicorn

Libra: Cosmic Owl

Scorpio: Ice King

Sagittarius: Finn

Capricorn: Princess Bubblegum

Aquarius: Lemon Grab

Aries: Burger King

Taurus: Taco Bell

Gemini: KFC

Cancer: Yoshinoya

Leo: McDonald’s

Virgo: Veggie Grill

Libra: Wendy’s

Scorpio: In-N-Out

Sagittarius: 5 Guys

Capricorn: Subway

Aquarius: Arby’s

Aries: Hanna Marin

Taurus: Toby Cavanaugh

Gemini: Mona Vanderwaal

Cancer: Caleb Rivers

Leo: Ashley Marin

Virgo: Spencer Hastings

Libra: Ezra Fitzgerald

Scorpio: Alison DiLaurentis

Sagittarius: Emily Fields

Capricorn: Jenna Marshall

Aquarius: Aria Montgomery

Aries: Fruit Loops

Taurus: Cap’n Crunch

Gemini: Honey Smacks

Cancer: Rice Krispies

Leo: Cocoa Pebbles

Virgo: Kix

Libra: Life

Scorpio: Boo Berry

Sagittarius: Frosted Flakes

Capricorn: Honey Nut Cheerios

Aquarius: Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Aries: Sea Watchers

Taurus: Cape Cod Evening

Gemini: Chop Suey

Cancer: Automat

Leo: August in the City

Virgo: Morning Sun

Libra: Nighthawks

Scorpio: Excursion into Philosophy

Sagittarius: Summertime

Capricorn: Office in a Small City

Aquarius: Soir Bleu

Pisces: New York Movie

Heathers: Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Jawbreaker: Aries, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn