And that's the way the cookie crumbles

tumblrs not a blogging or social media or whatever platform. its an aquarium.

and brother, i’m a stingray who wants to be petted

snoopy goes grocery shopping at . at the snoopermarket

Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted

Wait what.

Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid

My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.

My college was next to an assisted living facility and one time we went over there to draw people’s portraits so we could get practice drawing older people. The lady I was drawing idly told me that she "dealt quite handily with her first husband” while making a stabbing gesture. Five minutes later she requested I make sure not to draw her double chin. I honored that request.

So when I was a child my grandmother told all these great stories about growing up in the Alaskan wilderness. Amazing bad ass stories about her and my great-grandmother. I recently asked my mom why my great-grandmother moved from Texas to Alaska in the first place. Turns out my Great-grandfather was abusive to my great grandmother for years and she lived with that until the first time he hit my grandmother, who was like three at the time, my great-grandmother got him very drunk and beat him to death then moved to Alaska to hide from the cops.

Mans was literally so respectful he never assumed every turquoise platypus he met wasn't automatically going to be the one and only turquoise platypus he's ever met 😂😂😂

It’s crazy how we put pro athletes and singers on a pedestal and they make millions, while the people who actually help make the world function everyday are left with pennies.

evil infodumping where you just tell lies

older brother