Grim

why are art museums the only museums with cafeterias? imagine if you just got done walking through a civil war museum and there was a place offering hardtack and soup beans and really bad coffee based on the rations of a union soldier

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

My grandmother tells me that she thinks I drink too much water but that woman also seems to live off of half a cup of water and a can of Diet Coke a day and just sucks on hard candy when she feels thirsty so idk if it’s growing up in the 40s and 50s that made her like that or if that’s just how she is but I’m pretty sure she’s been dehydrated for the past 70 years or so

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

i really genuinely wish I could hit chatgpt with my bare fists and hear its pityful electronic voice fade into glitched robotic gibberish and choking beeps as I hit it before I smash it for good and it shuts the fuck up forever

why are so many people wondering if I'm horny for chatgpt. it's like the most unfuckable robot ever created heeell NO

First test flight of a flying car by Mazda partially a success

I feel like the Arizona license plate should take some place in our analysis of whatever in the goddam fuck we’re looking at here

extremely funny when students get really into some harmless "vintage" activity to the point of absurdity. right now it's hacky sack, which is not something i ever thought i would see my students playing en masse. and yet here they are organizing competitive hacky sack teams. taking over any space they can to kick a hacky sack around. i had to chase a group to morning assembly today because they were busy playing hacky sack. just saw one of my students sending an email that said "stop adding randos to our team they're the worst sackers." 2026 year of the hacky sack ig

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

Theyve been dead for seven slutty slutty years

cliff marleau is the kind of homie who shuts down instances of the f-slur by saying shit like "only cocksuckers use slurs, dick"

After finding out what gaydar is cliff loudly points people out on the street that he thinks are gay to ilya. He does not have an inside voice and he points directly at them, so can be heard by anyone in the vicinity saying 'that guy looks gay'. Ilya would intervene but he does quite enjoy showing off his gaydar skills to an interested audience, so he doesn't.

I feel like pirating media that isn’t sold or offered anywhere legally anymore shouldn’t be called piracy. Girl thats archaeology

they want you to make fried rice

who is "they"

the wok left

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

skillet issue