aspec

Image 1: a person is drawn with an angry expression and a speech bubble saying “HURR HURR *EXCLUSIONIST SHIT*” a person with short hair wearing a hoodie yells “SHUT UP” and kicks the exclusionist in the face. the exclusionist responds with “ouch” the person wearing a hoodie is shown up close with a confused expression and their hands held up in a shrug, they say “have exclusionists ever been in IRL queer spaces???”

Image 2: the person wearing a hoodie holds their hand up to explain with a more neutral expression. they say “I straight up know * 7 * IRL aromantic people and 7 aces!!” someone with long hair in a bun and large hoop earrings is drawn on the right, smiling with sparkles are her. to the left of her is writing saying “one of these person is one of my elder queer mentor! her place in the community as an aroace agender is not questioned.

Image 3: the person wearing a hoodie is once again drawn with their hand up to explain. they say “I know polyamorous aros in a QPR!” “In fact, polyamorous are accepted, and we often talk about our crushes, platonic or not!” the person in a hoodie is drawn again with an excited expression, they say “same for nonbinary people!”

Image 4: the person wearing a hoodie is drawn in a dramatic pose with their hand out. they say “I know people who use neopronouns, lots of pronouns, or no pronoun at all!” “I know people who changed their name, sometimes more than once, and some people who kept their given name!”

Image 5: the person in a hoodie is drawn with a happy expression and their hand held up. they say “I know people who use microlabels, many labels, and no label” someone wearing a dress who has long hair and glasses is drawn with an expression of glee and hearts around her. the person in a hoodie points to her with a happy expression, they say “and guess what? my bi friend has a boyfriend! and we love hearing her gush about him!”

- you enjoy the idea of sex but don’t want to experience it in real life

- you have sexual fantasies but would never want to be IN THEM and the fantasies don’t involve you

- you enjoy reading erotica/ smut fanfics

- - you enjoy absorbing sexual content but it’s never about yourself

- - you like reading smut in third person but find first person to be a huge turn off. And second person is literally The Worst

- you daydream about sexual situations but the people in the daydreams aren’t yourself (or typically even other real people- but your OCs or fictional characters)

- you find yourself looking at attractive people thinking “yeah they’re hot but I don’t want to DO ANYTHING with them”

- imagining the sensory experience of sex makes you question whether it could really feel good as good as it is in your mind

A few years ago there was a person who had cultivated an entire list of acespec identities and lists of common traits. I can no longer find those traits or posts.

Okie I guess it warrants its own post. I tried to go for a four circle diagram for aspec identities. Mobile makes the outline... difficult. That's a queer flag and the rainbow flag in the middle, and an aspec flag I liked by @aspecsupport (sorry for @-ing you twice) is between and ace and aro bubbles.

I might try and remake this better on my hypothetical new laptop later.

I need ace and aro representation. In fact, I need widespread ace and aro representation.

I need ace and aro representation because even in the queer community I keep hearing things like this isn't all to life, you're still young, when you know you're in love, you know, Relationships aren't scary once you get into one, you're just naive (I'm 26), etc.

I need ace and aro representation because we are wonderful, incredible human beings who love who we are and need others to know that we are complete as people.

hey guys, so there have been some versions of an aspec flag but none that are very widely used. and as someone who wants to identify as just aspec and i’m sure there are many others of you who agree out there, i wanted a flag that would fully represent the ace identity!

To the aro gay men: youre not feeding the predatory gay stereotype. Its not your job to end the belief that gay men are predatorial 💚

To the aro bi and pansexuals: youre not emotionally manipulative or abusive for being aromantic. Its not your job to end the belief that bisexuals and pansexuals are sex hungry and emotionally null. Youre deeply emotional and complicated and no one can take that from you 💚

To the aro heterosexual men: youre not inherently mysoginistic or a “fuckboy” for not being interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with a woman youre sexually attracted to. Its not your job to single handedly tackle the belief that men who like to have sex with women but not engage in a romantic relationship with them are predatory misogynists. You identity is not problematic because it overlaps with these negative stereotypes 💚

To the aromantic heterosexual women: Your aromanticism is not an obstacle for men to hurdle and “defeat”. You are not a prize to be won 💚

To the aromantic asexual people: you’re aromanticism/asexuality does not make you a waste. Your companionship is no less valuable than that of alloromantic allosexuals 💚

To the aromantic people who feel broken: you’re not, aromanticism isnt the character flaw that media makes it out to be. It is a valid identity, not a quirk or mistake. Its an identity 💚

To the aromantic minors: youre not immature, you wont “realize when youre older”. Aromanticism isnt a childish thing that you grow out of as you mature. Your identity is just as valid NOW as it will be in twenty years. Just because people get up in arms about a-spec identities in minors doesnt make you any less aromantic. 💚

To the aromantic abuse survivors: whether your aromanticism is related to your trauma or not does not invalidate it. Whether youre aromantic because or despite your trauma youre still aromantic and no less than those who arent survivors 💚

To the romance repulsed aromantics: its okay. YOURE okay. Romance being shoved down your throat every way you turn is hard, and people ignoring your feelings about it hurts but youre just as valid as those who dont experience it. You deserve to be as comfortable as everyone else 💚

To the autistic aromantics: your autism doesnt discount your aromanticism whether theyre closely entwined or not. You deserve better than allistics policing your identity and how it interacts with your autism 💚

To the popular aromantics: its not a competition as to who can be .~*the one*~. to “fix” you no matter how much it may feel that way. You are so much more than a challenge for people to overcome 💚

1. Eros (erotic love). This is, simply put, the sexual attraction you feel towards someone. In its best form, passion can be transformative… but it can also become destructive if not kept under control.

2. Philos (friendship). This is the love we treat as lesser in the modern world. Ironically, the Greeks considered it superior to eros as philos was considered a love between two equals and free of the animalistic pull of sexual desire. Philos is the kind of love two warriors who’ve shared a foxhole feel for one another.

3. Storge (familial love). This is the love and pride we take in our kinsmen and lifelong friends. For those who are deeply attached to their family name, who remember family members who pass on with great fondness… This is the name the Greeks, a culture based very much on accruing honour to one’s name and descendants, bestowed on this form of love, as it was so very important to them.

4. Ludus (playful love). The affection between young lovers, this is what we modern folk call “puppy love.” The flirting, teasing and childlike euphoria at being in a new relationship is all part and parcel of this form of love. The Greeks felt that love should have a sense of fun and play; it need not be serious 100% of the time.

5. Mania (obsessive love). This is what happens when love gets scary, and is the purview of stalkers and the most deluded among us. The Greeks believed that this occurs when there’s an imbalance between the presence of ludus and eros in one’s psyche. Those who experience this form of love also become codependent, and may be perpetrators of abuse of their loved ones.

6. Pragma (enduring love). This is a mature form of love, having aged like fine wine with time. It’s commonly seen in couples who have been married for decades, and is something we all secretly yearn for – the companionship that looks beyond our limitations, yet loves us for our frail humanity. A love where we are accepted unconditionally and will never stray from us. It’s hard to find, and takes a lot of time and patience to cultivate.

7. Philautia (self-love). This is where having a “positive mental attitude” and engaging in self-care comes in. The Greeks understood that, in order to care for others, we must first tend to ourselves. This is not a sense of vanity, but an awareness and acceptance of who you really are, showing yourself compassion in darker times.

8. Agape (brotherhood). This is the greatest form of love there is, and the hardest to aspire to. It demands nothing less than feeling love for all human beings, compassion for all creatures, an acceptance and forgiveness of the flaws of humanity, and the desire to ease the pain of those who suffer. To see in the eyes of every human being your brother, your sister – when humanity, in your mind, becomes your extended family. It’s not about paying lip service to religions that preach compassion, it’s about showing love for others in every word and deed.

Uniattraction: Feeling attraction towards one person and one person only for advanced periods of time or one’s whole lifetime. You are attracted to them regardless of their gender/sexuality/changing appearance etc.