Ask Shi'vanu Legacy

Don’t say it was “delightful”; make us say “delightful” when we’ve read the description. –C.S. Lewis

I found this great piece of writing advice from C.S. Lewis on twitter today.(courtesy of @thatboycanteach)

I know the phrase “show don’t tell” confuses a lot of people who are new to critiquing/workshops, because all writing is telling… isn’t it? 

But this is exactly what writers are talking about when they use that phrase. 

This is also why, when critiquing your work, writers might tell you to remove adjectives and adverbs, or why you might hear that those two types of words are “bad writing.” It’s not that you’re never allowed to use an adjective or an adverb, but that–like Lewis says–it’s much more preferable to be terrified, than to be told something is terrifying. 

Borrowing the two adjectives he uses (Delightful and Horrifying)

Sandra was giddy with joy to the point that she practically skipped with every step. The evening with Brandon was one that she felt could have only happened in her wildest dreams! They danced and sang and giggled the night away, enjoying soft, tender moments in between fits of guffawing laughter and meals so delicious that they defied description. She couldn’t wait to tell Odette everything, and more importantly, she couldn’t wait to see Brandon and his cute button nose again.

(This just screams delightful! Or at the least, it gives the impression that Sandra had a very delightful night with Brandon and would like to have another with him)

(Now to try one for horrifying)

Peter could feel his heartbeat thunder in his ears as each erratic beat crashed and hammered against the inside of his chest. The air around him felt cold as ice and bit into his lips as he hobbled deeper and deeper into the woods. Anywhere… He thought. Anywhere but here, anywhere has to be safer than here! His eyes were darting back and forth, watching the swaying trees and the weakening beam from his torch as the leaves rustled and branches swayed overhead. “I told them…” Peter whispered as he grasped the metal crucifix hanging from his necklace. His grip was so tight that he felt every groove and etching bite deeply into the skin of his palm. “I told them not to take anything from the Arkham library… b-but. But they didn’t listen. Dear God, save me, please.” Peter pleaded as tears rolled down his face. He froze as he heard a sound from behind him: a twig breaking, something thumping onto and scattering leaf litter, and a low, gasping rumble that blew hot, moist air over Peter’s entire body. “Oh god NO!!!” Peter screamed as he was thrown to the ground before silence filled the inky darkness of the forest.

"White people" or "white person". I do not have to get upset when someone says "white people do _______". Does literally every white person do _______? Seems unlikely. But do most/many/enough as a social class for the commentary to be accurate? YEAH PROBABLY. That commentary is not about me, it is about my social class (unless it IS a behavior I do and/or way I think, in which case I can then work some more at the racism that is unavoidably in me without a shame spiral because that helps literally no one

So excusing inaccurate language and making it the audience's problem and fault for not knowing or understanding what you mean is not the answer. If you are unclear in your message, that is in fact your fault. If you are going to say "all men" and later insist you meant "Men, the class," then you're moving the goalpost and creating a bad faith situation. And that's your doing, not the audience.

Many people do mean all men. Many people want to hate every last person of whatever majority class they deem oppressive. There's so many in fact, that no one has cause to take ambiguous "all men" language in good faith. There's no reason to suspect that the individual complainer is objective or sensible. Many are simply not; they want payback and they don't care who they throw under the bus to get it.

On the subject of AI, I have a confession to make: I use it. Not to write for me, but to help me check for inconsistencies, to brainstorm ideas, to write outlines, to give me a couple of lines when I've been stuck for hours, to be my beta reader, if you will. Generative AI is bad? Yes, but it also a useful tool if one isn't lazy. I don't ask: write me a story. I go with my story and ask: help me with continuity. Look, this paragraph is clunky, how do I make it better? The demonization of generative AI is fair, but to be honest, I also understand people who use it. Maybe they're afraid of writing themselves, maybe they're insecure and don't trust their prose. Maybe they have brilliannt ideas but they need help to make them become fics.

To me, this is very much connected to my last ask where I was talking about how we don't have enough mentors in fandom to support the influx of people entering it.

All of the things that you're asking AI to do used to be done by a beta reader (or more than one!). A fandom friend (or even a random stranger who volunteered) would read through your work and help you with those issues.

Betas are amazing. They can help with grammar and spelling. They can regionalize language. They can provide sensitivity reading if they're from a marginalized community that you're writing about and aren't a member of. They can track canon, help with research, even just be a sounding board to discuss ideas with.

And sometimes, they're just a cheer reader - someone reading your story and telling you how awesome it is because they love it just as much as you do.

I understand turning to AI if you 1) don't know beta readers exist or 2) don't know how to obtain one. The need for that kind of support doesn't go away just because you can't access it.

But for anyone out there who needs this kind of help and wants to avoid Gen AI, you can write a post on your blog, add it to an author's note, check out resources like @needabeta or - if the time of year is right and you have the funds - place a bid on beta reading services during @fandomtrumpshate

Beta readers are often involved in fandom events like big bangs and exchanges, and if anyone is looking to host such an event, it's a great way to get people involved who aren't writers or artists but would love to help out.

Beta reading isn't anything particularly special that you can't easily do on your own if you can't find a beta reader. If you want to outsource to AI, that's a choice you can make, but you're failing to get any good about it, and AI isn't trustworthy. If you're sabotaging yourself by using AI, how do you expect to be competent enough to know whether or not to take its "advice?"

It's like using grammar/spell check (except worse). You have to actually know what you're doing. These tools don't help you if you don't already know what's correct and what you need for your writing.

You have to learn how to write good paragraphs yourself.

I don't care if you're afraid or insecure. Get over it. YOU chose this craft. What for, if you're gonna punt to AI? Practice. Learn. Get good. I'm not interested in a "writer" that "doesn't trust their prose."

I'm here for prose coming from a real person, not AI. Your brilliant ideas are not brilliant if you're not writing them yourself. Ideas are a dime a dozen. That's the marketing BS that AI bros like to barf out, how it's all about "but my ideas are SO GOOD!! Praise me for my ideas I didn't actually do anything with myself!!"

The art is about actually transforming ideas into a real thing. Everyone has ideas; not everyone bothers to do anything with them. The people who bother are the artists, and that does NOT include AI.

junicorn

day 07

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

Contrary to modern advice fads, you can literally do whatever you want. Your writing is YOURS and that's the whole point. It's about painting YOUR vision YOUR way. That's art. That's what every other notable writer ever did.

Advice is just tools in a box. Take it or leave it. Use some, use none. When you understand your language and grammar, you can do everything.

As a rule of thumb, if you have to dig it up it's a crime, but if you can just yoink it then it's a-okay.