struggling comedienne

I don’t want to work a 9-5, I want to go hiking and be in love

spring is so crazy you go outside and youre like damn its green

i enjoy the simple things in life like sleeping, daydreaming, ignoring reality, listening to music, being delusional, recklessly spending my cash, being a disappointment to my family and eating fruits

hes so hot

I wonder if people notice that I wear the same pair of jeans literally all the time.

me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,

I CANT BREATHE

holy shit can we be thankful that there are only like, 2 types of phone chargers nowadays? if youre phone died in 2007 you were fuck outta luck

this shit had to be a fuckin fire hazard or something i swear to goddd

they beat jesus with that

certified iconic post

today is not my birthday

reblog if your birthday is not today

APPLES NO FUCKING POOP YOU STUPID SHIT APPLES IS FRUIT.

I sat here… like an absolute dumbass…

mom, dad, these are my newborn twins. their names are mom and dad. i named them after you. what do you mean ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ aren’t your real names? what the hell? i already named these kids thanks for telling me now

do most people on mobile tumblr know you can hold down the reblog button to fast reblog a post to your blog? you know you can reblog things with one click right? please please reblog things if you enjoy them, lack of exposure is killing content creators on this site 

WHAT

please reblog art/content if you genuinely like it! it’s the best thing you can do for us artists/content creators!