ashendandelions2

There is something festering in my bones.

I can feel it: the maggots invading.

Cutting my skin open reveals

the holes in my system where the

maggots got in.

I can’t help but wonder

how much of my structural

integrity

has been compromised.

Do you understand the

impermanence

of the knife?

He fills my ribcage with dandelions,

my eyes with sunspots,

my brain with fluff.

The warmth filling my organs

forces tired, dazed loopiness to creep

deep into the brain.

The feeling of being full,

bordering on gluttony,

The illusion of protection,

acts of grandeur, performative power

in the hands of the one undeserving.

Silver shiny stars spoken to

in the softest voices every night

(soft compared to the thunder

of the celestial country they consume)

Contrast the brown, broken, boiling

Earth falling faster out of reach

from the speed of light

keeping stars in the sky.

Ribs so soft,

Skin so thin,

Nails get the perfect grip.

They slide right in between

Each step ladder,

Climbing higher,

Closer to the heart.

I begin to rip apart.

Not much effort must go in:

Your anger is perfected to drown out

All the things you wish you forgot about,

As if it could cancel out.

And you shout your words louder than

The action of leaving open your hand,

As if it could cancel out.

Look at those curiosities of your being!

I will follow your mind, as your heart is fleeting.

But your heart still can’t be cancelled out.

I personally fall under the aromantic umbrella, and it took me a very long time to learn this. I am demiromantic, which wasn't too hard to realize once I learned the term, but I am also aroflux. There are multiples definitions online, but for me being aroflux means that the intensity at which I am capable of feeling romantic love varies day to day. It's like a slider on a scale. Sometimes I'm even fully aromantic, and before realizing I was aroflux, I thought that there was something wrong with me. I thought I was unlovable. Thanks to online spaces I finally found the term aroflux and came to accept that it was a part of who I am, and not something I need to feel ashamed about. I have a wonderful partner who loves me no matter what, and I love him too, more than life itself. Even when I am fully aromantic I still love him in every single other way that there is, because aro-spec people are still always going to be capable of love. Happy aromantic day, everyone. Here's to discovering who we are. I even made a new demiaroflux flag, because the old one that I was using was very similar, but the center stripe wasnt centered with the point of the triangle and it was driving me crazy.

Remember that you are loved.