Ash's Ashes

I’ve had this thought before. My cats aren’t allowed in the bedroom, and sometimes I hear them try to come in and just shout “No thank you!” at them. How hilarious would it be if I was really yelling at a poor ghost, trying to spook me.

Between my cat and my ADHD (wait, where did I put my purse? Wasn’t just here? Oh it’s in the pantry. Eh, must be a brain fail. Again.) I would never know whether or not my ass was haunted.

Spirit: (pulls out a tablecloth, everything on the table crashing onto the floor) Cat Owner: CUT IT OUT! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE DINING ROOM? Spirit: (nervously moves to the kitchen)

RESPONSIBLE-black-unicorn

So tired of the fake sugar daddy bot accounts on my posts and in my inbox when my Patreon (x) and Ko-fi (x) are right there. 

get a job

I’ve got four, but thanks for trying.

All of these stories of CEOs cutting their salary to pay employees are supposed to be feel-good stories, but if cutting one salary is all it takes to pay all of them, there’s something wrong.

Damn just shower thoughts didn’t come to play today

this is literally how i dance

This went from “wow that’s pretty neat” to “WTF ITS ALIVE” real quick

she did that

Scenario: You are watching this puppet show, and then after the song is over, the puppeteer smiles at you as if to thank you for your support, then her and the wooden mouse depart in opposite directions. 

If this thought hadn’t crossed anyone’s mind watching this already, re-watch it taking into consideration that gravity exerts an unpredictable chaos on dangling objects, that the puppet’s own wobbliness is most of the movement we see here and this woman simply has that flawless of a feel for how physics will continue moving the limbs at the slightest single twitch of her finger. This is a real deal fucking puppeteer no matter what her background or how long she’s been doing it. That wooden mouse is an appendage of this woman’s soul.

Listen, if on the one hand you worship a boundary-transgressing, plane-shifting, one-eyed god of madness and death, but on the other hand you’re still caping for all this normie bullshit like institutional racism and “top kek there’s only 2 genders lololol,” then you’re a joke and I'ma laugh at you. Git gud.

He’s legit blood brothers with the genderqueer god of bottoming, when will yall learn

Racism is cowardice.

Racism is cowardice and there are no cowards warming benches in the Corpse-Hall

ETD: Have you tried….*rolls d20*…turning it off and on again?

This speaks to me on so many levels and i hate it

Jaskier would have written all the ballads and bops about Renfri, just saying. She’d have been his muse. Nothing but Witchers and Black Sun Princesses.

Stregobor, that caterpillar eyebrowed bastard, gets exactly what he deserves

From the infamous bard Jaskier, known most widely as the creative force behind the popular piece, “Toss a Coin to Your Witcher”, comes what is sure to be another classic: “Throw a Rock at That Wizard”.

[for context, the plague doctor is scatting/humming the intro to the song ‘Come and Get Your Love’ by Redbone, transitioning into the beginning lyrics that the offscreen voice accompanies them on]

I gotta say that since COVID-19 hit I have been surprised by the number of people who just seem to have plague doctor masks and cloaks just...lying around?

I’m put out because work won’t let me use a plague doctor mask, even though I assured them I can insert pm 2.5 filters to make it functional.