Ashanti.S Poetry

Feel nothing

I dare you just try it

How can you feel nothing?

It’s nothing

Language is funny

Although it’s describing nothing

Nothing becomes something to describe

But there’s nothing to describe

It’s void

It makes absolute sense in a senseless way

But with sense

I feel nothing all the time

But why would you and I most likely describe it as feeling?

When we feel it’s always something

So how exactly do we feel nothing

And we actually feel it?

It’s fascinating

But perhaps we’re feeling the absence of feeling

Which is no feeling

Then again that means we’re feeling no feeling

We feel nothing to feel

We feel nothing, to feel

We feel no feeling

So is it not?

Or are we just not yet adept to our emotional universe?

It’s both I guess

And the crazy part is I feel both perspectives

I understand them so well that I embody them

Feeling nothing

Feeling everything

All at once

And never

How can I?

It should be impossible

At least if that’s what you believe

But it’s language

Language fails to describe to you that it is possible

Or rather you refuse to feel that it’s possible

Always has been and always will be

You just happened to be deceived

By the system of language

Or by yourself

Both really

How is it possible that you can smile?

After all that you've done

Why do you think you even deserve to have eyes?

To see all of the crimes you've committed and hold not a single regret for?

Huh tell me

You lying behind that soft harmless mask

Constantly lying and hiding the monster you are

Are you happy about who you are?

With what you’ve become?

I mean tell me

Sin is silk wrapped on a rusting spear

Strikingly beautiful that it hurts

On the inside it’s only a decaying void

An incomplete shallow whole

Twisted thorns twisting sins form

An endless flowerbed death

That’s what you were

You were everything you tried to hide

The terrific imperfections you performed into perfection

The organised structure you presented to stand in your way

Your chaos

The hungry shadow consuming yourself and others in

The ego you seen from me

That’s what it was

That’s what I seen

I just didn’t know

Or rather I didn’t want to know

And I guess that’s why it hurt

Because even though you were so beautiful

You weren’t really

You were my danger

My spear

And you knew it

Of course you did

You knew everything

That’s why you did all of this

So I could be yours