my “people skills” are “rusty”

can you imagine how good shows would be if writers thought of women as human beings

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere

The dead horse beats me

penultimate is such a good word. its like....maybe the second best word

Oh. Ilya isn’t being nice to all the gay hockey players he meets by tripping them into the arms of their love interests because he wants them to be happy. He’s tripping them away from his love interest. He’s gonna make sure those hot rich men are otherwise occupied so they don’t go sniffing around Mr. Hockey himself, Shane Hollander, who they may or may not have heard a rumor about him being gay and probably available— Quick! Diversion attack! Go flirt with the cute social media guy! Look! Attractive bartender! Sexy musician, go go go!

I just don't think we ever wrapped up the Clown Sightings of 2016 in a satisfactory way.

there should be a second type of honk for for telling other drivers that *you* fucked up and are currently trying to fix the situation. a mea culpa that sounds like Womp Womp or something. yeah i got confused by the new lane lines they painted and now i’m way too far in the intersection at a red light, sorry folks, Womp Womp i have to cut you off