I Am, I Am, I Am

"I protect the family" I sing as I fall down the stairs, without a single trait that hints I am capable of protection

i'm sorry i wiggled your skinny boyfriend like a sheet of metal. weeop womp weeoop womp weeeoop womp

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

You Have a Friend Request in MyChart

billionaire citicism is always important and welcomed but what do you mean you geniuenly can't tell the difference between taylor swift and elon musk rich. what do you mean you think both of them hold the same power. what do you mean you think both of them are equally threatening to our society.

we should give disabled people all the money they need to buy endless drugs and prostitutes and a boat and a sugar baby and they should be able to write any hobby equipment off on their taxes and get DoorDash every night and if you think im joking fuck you for real. 

not to be rude but some of y'all need to look on the bright side sometimes. like, yeah sure the world is fucked and people suck and we all die whatever, sure, but like. go outside.