#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies
wallacepolsom
Peter Solarz
ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation
JVL
styofa doing anything
shark vs the universe
PR's Tumblrdome
@theartofmadeline
Three Goblin Art
Not today Justin
occasionally subtle
Origami Around
oozey mess
Xuebing Du
if i look back, i am lost
Show & Tell
romaā
ā
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Maldives
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from TĆ¼rkiye
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
@asdfcrazyghjk
"Guy" and "man" have different connotations with adjectival nouns. Like "tree guy" = arborist but "tree man" = he lives in a tree, or maybe he is a tree.
"I know a guy" = "I have a useful contact."
"I know a man" = "I am about to tell you a story."
āHeās a great guyā = he is pleasant and fun and well-intentioned
āHeās a great manā = he has saved countless lives and changed the world irrevocably
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"we live in an uncaring universe." sorry the special planet full of beauty and animals and food literally growing out of the ground isnt good enough for you. i guess
We live in an uncaring universe. But the specific part we live on, well, thatās the part of the known universe that has all the known hope, and love, and art, and pancakes.
we've got a life to love living.
sydney carton is low key such a boy failure like heās an alcoholic he cries himself to sleep heās pathetic he wastes all his potential on purpose he works for a boss that treats him like shit and is okay with that he begs to be friends with charles
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Normal things to say while having a drink with a new acquaintance:
"I begin to think we are not much alike in any particular, you and I."
"Is it worth being tried for oneās life, to be the object of such sympathy and compassion?"
"Do you think I particularly like you?"
When I finish this whale shark lamp all 4 of you are gonna be So I'm pressed
She glows now, just so you know, and she's full of string deliciƶusee string
Are you gonna show us the lamp? š
Good news! WhƤle shark lƤmp š„°
This utterly GORGEOUS. Goes to show you should just MAKE THE THING because who else would do it? This is unique and beautiful and exists because someone imagined it and then made it happen.
change does not come from a place of comfort
I find pennies and nickels in my couch all the time, so I donāt know what you are talking about
trinity santos managed to attract every hot woman in the er, uncover a drug diversion scheme, infiltrate princess and perlah's chismis operation, perform a successful reboa that all the senior residents and attendings are now gossiping about, and put a roof over a homeless sopping wet kitten's head, all on her first day on the job
make your own foot scrub
feet are pretty hard to make
dont call me a scrub ever again
please stop making me read this
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one of my fav parts of thg was whenever peeta was like āyou have no ideaā¦ the effect you can haveā¦ā to katniss while giggling and blushing and twirling his hair and katniss was like āidk what he means by dat but its probably EVIL and AWFUL and the effect i have is HORRIBLEšhes MALICIOUSā like girl
and on the pedestal, these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias--hope you're enjoying my kickass sculpture of two vast and trunkless legs of stone and a shattered visage! I built it in this desert to prove an important point about Society
omg itās dr. roberta bobby, author of one of my favorite tweets ever written
Omg she wrote one of my favorites also
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word āburritoā to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and Iām surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
Youāre an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burritoās end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise.Ā That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you donāt stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans canāt usually dislocate their jaws, and Iām not a fucking pelican. But you must think thatās how itās done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably canāt guessĀ anything, because Iām pretty sure youāre just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, hereās what:
Humans also donāt eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS IāLL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS ITāS JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG IāM IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE ITāS NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And donāt even fucking think Iām about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THATāS HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THATāS BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
Whatās that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DONāT WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DONāT WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
Youāre the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID āJUST EAT IT WITH A FORKā:
A fuckingĀ fork?
I DIDNāT ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
Thatās like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKERāS GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. Theyāre called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I havenāt cried since I was six, but Iām fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
(Source)
I always need this on my blog.
I canāt be laughing this hard in the morning.Ā
Yes
Happy Ten Years to the Bad Burrito Post
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
ITS BACK ON MY TIMELINE!!
Italian Nirvana
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I get so sad every time someone says they couldn't get into TLT because they got lost so I MADE THIS. enjoy. Please let me know if Im missing anything or anything is wrong!
EDIT 3/15: UPDATED SOME INFORMATION IN THE BoE SLIDE
Link to all the artists' websites/blogs below!
When she griddle on my harrow till I hark. Is this anything
