❛ HEIR APPARENT.

   ❛ a whole ‘nother year, huh. ❜ mused idly, casually. this time, he’s careful not to reveal how momentous he finds the occasion, gaze only just drifting across the familiar range of a friend’s face, from the toffee-colored speckles beside his mouth to the ones in satellite about green eyes. noctis cocks his head a moment, a brow arching as his scrutiny lingers, and then says, ❛ coulda fooled me. you sure don’t look any older. ❜

     it’s a good set-up, or so noctis thinks, because there’s his opening ( ❛ wait a sec, ❜ as though he’s spotted a new, phantom crease ), and he has all the reason in the world to lean in, feigning inquisitiveness up until the point where they’ve no more room for this jig — no more room for much of anything with noctis lifting to the tips of his toes, gifting the press of his lips to where ignis’s mouth draws him, warm and impeccably bowed.

     when he eases back onto his heels, noctis doesn’t apologize and he doesn’t stammer out filler noises all soft and round with vowel clippings, doesn’t say he didn’t mean to, because he did and he wants ignis to know it; this isn’t accidental, not to be framed as such, like in the way he used to roll over some nights and curl close to the curve of ignis’s spine as if it were sleep itself which had marionetted him near rather than the absence of rest, of restfulness, coupled with an abundance of trust. he supposes that’s what this kiss was, too. an intimation of faith, —

     — as well as a celebration. 

   ❛ happy birthday, specs. ❜ ( note it’s noctis’s eyes that have grown so crinkled now, if only with the brightening touches of a smile. ) ❛ and many more, yeah? ❜

       seems as though he could count the days like candles from a time before when the heir apparent stepped outside of the realm of his comfort zone and into the confectionary unknown; the saccharine sweet of the memory as vivid in his mind as it had been to the palate of his tongue—a pleasant surprise, that ( but none so much as the inspiration behind the act. ) the days accumulate alongside years, and he’s more willing to attribute them to sworn fealty; that which he is devoted with every fiber of his being, than he is toward his age. 

       liken that to the foundation of his youth: an intensive upbringing, the fast forward to maturity, enlightenment. the development of a mind never quite focused on the triviality of his birth when forging the tactical acumen that would be required of a gifted and talented young lad to one day be fit to serve and protect the crown, to become part of a movement greater than himself or his family’s name. a childhood he finds difficulty loathing when it allows him much to give an equally young, up and coming king as the days ( years ) unfold between them. opportunities abound, and reasons plentiful. his unbidden pride to becoming advisor to the king—this king—is as much as his privilege of becoming his friend—noct’s friend. 

       an arrangement as simple as it is complicated,        when they invariably weave between the two. 

       a whole ‘nother year, noct says, and the tactician quietly delights, taking silent reverie to recount where all the soles of their shoes have left their mark in the year gone by. not every venture has been pleasant, much less smooth ( at least, in comparison to ebony that fills his mug to the brim, as steady in warmth as it is smooth in flavor, fragrant and fulfilling to his senses. his travel mug, of course. a reminder that the road ahead of them is long still yet, and that this shouldn’t feel like home. ) he hums his musing with that first faithful sip. 

       “where does the time go?” he provides with as much informality, unfurling his arms from their casual fold just beneath his chest and sets his coffee down to his right on the surface of their camping equipment. “just yesterday we were celebrating prompto’s, and your own before.” yesterday and some months, of course, and pastries are far from exclusive to birthdays. while noctis regards him with certain intent, it doesn’t strike him as particularly uncharacteristic until it lingers long enough that he begins to wonder if something has gone unnoticed; if perhaps, there’s something on his face that would be so terribly distracting—feels himself beginning to ask—but dutifully waits as requested of him, until there’s suddenly no room left to wonder.

       the heat emanating from the fire, the balm of evening’s breeze, it pales in comparison to the warmth budding beneath his breast bone when noctis lifts to meet him in a chaste kiss. what begins as one segues into a test of calculated control, careful to not draw from noct’s mouth a second tender indulgence that is well beyond his station, the warmth passing through him like light through his skin, an apparition of the sun. while fingers of his right hand curl against the table just beside his mug, those of his left find purchase beneath prince’s fatigues against the frame of his waist ( remains subconsciously poised even as noctis draws back on his feet ) ; finds himself looking from uplift of noctis’ mouth, adorned with boyish charm, to pale blue eyes.

       ❛ happy birthday, specs,         the smile, his gift ( the kiss left uncategorized as another entirely. ) 

       he returns the earlier expression of certain intent as he knows he should; knowing that it should not consist of the furtive curl at the corner of his mouth that he’s unable to suppress. despite taming words that sit tight on the edge of his tongue, he steps closer with a forward lean as though intended to trade quiet words, and he does, 

‘  when i was a kid, whenever i’d feel small or lonely, i’d look up at the stars. wondered if there was life up there.  ‘

‘  tens of thousands of lives were lost.  ‘

‘  this was just the beginning.  ‘

‘  to fight monsters, we created monsters of our own.  ‘

‘  we got really good at it. winning.  ‘

‘  hey, kid. don’t get cocky.  ‘

‘  please, after you. age before beauty.  ‘

‘  you know what i’m thinking.  ‘

‘  worry about yourself, kiddo!  ‘

‘  ___, listen to me!  ‘

‘  suits and ties, flashy smiles. that’s all they are.  ‘

‘  bad news: three guys died yesterday.  ‘

‘  well, orders are orders. what else am i supposed to do?  ‘

‘  took me a while to find you.  ‘

‘  i can’t have anyone else in my head again. i’m done.  ‘

‘  haven’t you heard? the world is coming to an end.  ‘

‘  so where would you rather die? here, or ____?  ‘

‘  oh, no, call me ___. only my mother calls me doctor.  ‘

‘  he was 2,500 tons of awesome. or awful. you know, whatever you wanna call it.  ‘

‘  shut up. i don’t love them, okay? i study them.  ‘

‘  things have changed. we’re not an army anymore, we’re the resistance.  ‘

‘  i didn’t know it was this bad.  ‘

‘  sorry about your brother.  ‘

‘  you haven’t told me what i’m doing here yet.  ‘

‘  numbers do not lie. politics and poetry, promises, these are lies. numbers are as close as we get to the handwriting of god.  ‘

‘  politics and poetry, promises, these are lies.  ‘

‘  and this… is the point where he goes completely crazy.  ‘

‘  fortune favors the brave, dude.  ‘

‘  they won’t give you the equipment, and even if they did, you’d kill yourself.  ‘

‘  she’s one of a kind now.  ‘

‘  i think you’re unpredictable.  ‘

‘  you take risks that endanger yourself and your crew. i don’t think you’re the right man for this mission.  ‘

‘  wow. thank you for your honesty.  ‘

‘  one day, you’re gonna see that in combat you make decisions. and you have to live with the consequences.  ‘

‘  you promised me.  ‘

‘  vengeance is like an open wound.  ‘

‘  to me, you’re dead weight. you slow me down, i’m gonna drop you like a sack of shit.  ‘

‘  i’ve raised him on my own. he’s a smart kid, but i never knew whether to give him a hug or a kick in the ass.  ‘

‘  it’s a dialogue, not a fight.  ‘

‘  better watch it.  ‘

‘  i’m not crazy. you felt it, right?  ‘

‘  this is worth fighting for.  ‘

‘  if you’re listening to this, well, i’m either alive and i’ve proven what i’ve just done works, in which case, ha ha, i won. or i’m dead and i’d like you to know that it’s all your fault. it really is, you know, you drove me to this. in which case, ha, i also won. sort of.  ‘

‘  are you gonna say anything?  ‘

‘  you look good.  ‘

‘  like when you blink your eyes over and over and over again and all you really see are like, frames. it was emotion.  ‘

‘  i’m okay. just let me control it.  ‘

‘  you are a goddamn disgrace. you’re gonna get us all killed.  ‘

‘  why don’t you just do us all a favor and disappear? it’s the only thing you’re good at.  ‘

‘  so, what, you’re grounding us?  ‘

‘  one: don’t you ever touch me again. two: don’t you ever touch me again.  ‘

‘  now, you have no idea who the hell i am or where i’ve come from, and i’m not about to tell you my whole life story.  ‘

‘  you know, you live in someone else’s head for so long… the hardest part to deal with is the silence.  ‘

‘  well, that’s classified. so i couldn’t tell you. even if i wanted to. but it is pretty cool, so i might tell you. i’m gonna tell you.  ‘

‘  jesus, we can’t just sit here and watch them die.  ‘

‘  let me in, i’m a doctor!  ‘

‘  we have a choice here. we either sit and wait, or we take these flare guns and do something really stupid.  ‘

‘  as harsh as it sounds, there is no time to celebrate. we lost people. no time to grieve.  ‘

‘  how sick are you? and why didn’t you tell me?  ‘

‘  i haven’t exactly had a very good day, okay?  ‘

‘  we’re gonna own this bad boy!  ‘

‘  by jove, we are going to own this thing for sure!  ‘

‘  today, at the edge of our hope, at the end of our time, we have chosen not only to believe in ourselves, but in each other.  ‘

‘  today we are canceling the apocalypse!  ‘

‘  as for you, well, you’re easy. you’re an egotistical jerk with daddy issues. a simple puzzle i solved on day one.  ‘

‘  i just don’t want to regret all the things that i never said out loud.  ‘

‘  well, my father always said, if you have the shot, you take it. so let’s do this.  ‘

‘  all i have to do is fall. anyone can fall.  ‘

‘  i can’t find his pulse. i don’t think he’s breathing.  ‘

‘  no. don’t go. please.  ‘

‘  you’re squeezing me too tight. i couldn’t breathe.  ‘

❛ i don’t regret it, he tells in the half-light, eyes glimmering with something ancient and painful, and what he means is: i wouldn’t take it back.