no sex or love here

ultimately the problem is that it’s always phrased “aro people can still be in romantic relationships” and not “aros in romantic relationships are still aro”. and if you don’t get that then i can’t help you any further

i feel like we've "aros can still date" and "aces can still have sex" and "it's a spectrum"-ed ourselves into an ecosystem where a character has to look directly into the camera and go "i do not experience any romantic/sexual attraction under any circumstances and i have zero interest in dating/having sex at any point in my life" for people to even consider the idea that they might be anything other than romance or sex favorable. it's like people don't know what to do with a character who just doesn't want to date or fuck with no wiggle room

if your response to, “I wish there was more sex repulsed asexual representation,” is to point out not all aces are sex repulsed, maybe first stop and ask yourself why you are doing that. We live in a society that’s constantly telling us we need to have sex and I’m so glad there are aces who aren’t bothered by that, but it doesn’t invalidate those of us that do not want to. This isn’t a competition, I want to see all kinds of aces, being upset with a lack of respect for sex repulsed aces doesn’t mean I think the rep that’s already there for sex favorable aces should be changed. I am capable of wanting both, why aren’t you?