Arlo’s Shit And Stick

Written in - Primordial

I have never been the kind of person to keep a journal, but this is probably the best way to stop myself from going crazy. I genuinely can't tell if any of this is real, but hey this journal will be some kind of proof, if we ever get home that is.

This year at Killian has actually been going pretty good, when I first moved out to Scotland I was convinced I have made a mistake, especially going to such an expensive school and not knowing anyone. That first year was rough, but I actually started finding my place this year. My professors seem to like me (enough at least), I'm getting good grades, and I have friends, and yet there is part of me that still wants to run away. But I have been powering through, and I think it was going very well.

This semester I'm taking a couple of boring gen-ed classes, one of them being Scottish history – 101, that class is where this complete fever dream of a day started. Prof Pen teaches the class and her effort for it has never been that much, but its certainty went down as the semester went on. This class, she announced our final projects and groups, in an absolutely iconic outfit. She was wearing an old basketball short, pink bunny slippers, and a t-shirt with a mustard stain on it, they said I Heart Milfs. Honestly a lot of people don't like Prof Pen, but I don't mind her, she minds her business and I mind mine it works out well.

Anyway, she paired us off into groups of four and assigned us what part of Scottish history we would be doing research on, and god my group couldn't have been messier. Of course Florian, and I was grouped together (extremely awkward), that other painting student Charles (he only does portraits of himself and it really weird (I kind of respect it)), a business major named Chelsea (very obviously high or drunk), and she had this little purse dog Pomeranian she introduced as Ms. Fluffles. Professor Pen told us our topic was Killian University and the best place to start would be archives, she gave us this old medieval key then left.

I can't remember who brought up the idea, but we decided to go to the on campus café to get some coffee before we started researching. Charles (who instated on being called Charles the Charming) offered to pay while waving an expired credit card around, Florian ended up paying for our drinks. I tried slipping a five dollar bill into his bag (I didn’t want him paying for my drink) and I did, but he totally caught me, and he totally had a deer in the bag, which is way more insane than a Pomeranian.

We did some bullshit icebreaker (which I totally was not prepared for and came up with) I don’t know why I do that to myself lol. Then I realized not a single one of us has any idea where these so-called archives were, so Florian and I went back to professor Pen's classroom to ask. It was awkward to say the least, to say the most I tried to apologize, and he totally blew me off (justified). Ms. Pen told us they're in the back of the history building so we headed over, at least after Charles and Chelsea finished their nonsense conversation and blue blunt (which I'm totally wondering what it felt like, but honestly if had anything other than caffeine I would've passed the fuck out, since I have not slept more than three hours in the past two days, more proof that I'm totally just going crazy.)

It took us a while to get there since The Charming was leading us around a building that it was painfully obvious he didn't know, but when we did the door was this crazy medieval looking thing. I unlocked it to reveal a dark dingy staircase (creepy af) and also to find out that Ms. Fluffles had eaten a flashlight not very shocking among the other fucked up thing Chelsea had revealed about that dog, like it being the third Ms. Fluffles and also getting high constantly.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs we were greeted by a janitors closet door that looked just as dusty as everything else around us, it was clear that no one had come down here for a while and if these were supposed to be the archives then why in the world is there a janitor's closet door? And also why in the world is there a light on through that door? While I was sitting there overthinking, The Charming was sobbing and begging for their person in there to come out so he could see their "beatified face" this guy is a lot weirder then I thought he was. Instead of turning on my heel and leaving like I should have, I moved him out of the way (I haven't totally lost that boxing strength yet) and open the door.

That room was certainty an archive of some sort, but not a formal looking one. It looked like an old fantasy tavern and there was a sign that said something like Killian Tavern. Except it was super dusty and had shelves of book, boxes of files, and random papers everywhere. And turns out the light coming from this room was actually coming from yet another room through yet a different door. We all separated doing different shit the Charming found an old bottle of wine he totally flubbed opening, Chelsea took some selfies with me (called me prop (this chick is weird)), the dog was running and scratching at shit, and Florian was the only one actually working, feel bad about that for sure.

That is until I noticed that other door shaking, like vibrating, like it was going to open at any moment, when I walked over to get a closer look Ms. Fluffles tried walking up to it, but I grabbed her before it could open into her everyone else just kinda crowded around, and we sat their watching it.

That’s when Prof Johnson came down asking what we were doing down there like we weren't supposed to, for a moment I thought he didn’t recognize me which I guess would be fair we don’t interact much even to he is one of the heads of my Dig. Once again things got loud with people talking over each other, then the door opened and revealed this swirling colorful portal thing and everything went black. Ok this is where shit started to get really weird and if someone is reading this after I like died or whatever, I swear to I don’t know whatever god you believe in I saw all this shit, I don’t know if that makes it real, but I definitely saw it, and I am still living it so... just keep your mind open I guess.

I could feel my insides hollow out, and a fire light with my chest slowly getting hotter and hotter until it was bursting out of my hard, dehydrated skin. At the time it felt like an eternity, but really as soon as it started it stopped, and I was crashing into a table. A table that myself and the rest of the group broke, unfortunately. The first and most shocking thing was how we all looked. It was honestly kind of hard to tell who was who at first.

Charles the Charming looked basically the same, besides his ear getting longer and pointier and his hair becoming all sorts of pastel colors, plus the fact he was absolutely convinced he was shorter (he very much looked the same height, maybe he's missing an inch). Something he was so upset with, he insisted we don’t call him The Charming anymore as he is "no longer deserving of the title" and started sobbing.

Florian looked about the same as well, his ears got a lot longer, he grew these little devil horns and his legs are all horse like, like think of a satyr. And that deer that was in his bag turned into a unicorn! Like, yeah, an actual unicorn.

Ms. Fluffles was the first to start talking, which yes I understand how insane that sounds, and he introduced himself, in a rather curt way as Mr. Fluffles and that he hates every one of us (which again fair), he was I got to say the least shocked out of all of us, and immediately started smoking a cigarette that I have no idea where he got it.

A giant, ugly humanoid catfish started sobbing and mourning her appearance, which is how we realized that was Chelsea. She was slimy and dripping in weird mucus, plus everything in her bag was turned into, in her words "weird nerd shit." Including her vibrator that turned into a staff of some sort.

Professor Johnson turned into... well moth man basically, moth man dressed up in a nice suit and cloak, that is.

And for myself I turned into this weird empty blue shell of a body, with four arms, with (pink) fire burning inside of me like... constantly.

Besides our new and upsetting appearances, we were on our asses in a bright and colorful living room of some sort. Besides the broken glass and wood table strewn around the floor, there was neon orange, orange shaped couch, neon pink hard wood floors, the kitchen in the next room had an aquarium that looks very similar to a fridge, poppies growing out of the walls, and the room lit by a giant glowing orchid growing out of the ceiling.

I for sure thought I was going insane, or we were having a collective fever dream due to like a gas leak in the archives, and I was definitely on the verge of panic attack when a loud voice asked us what they were doing in their house. Turns out that guy is Pascal, he has large horns, and was dressed in a pink bathrobe and some tighty whities. Pascal told us that we are in a different universe, specifically the city Astralveil in said universe and the table we crashed into and broke was the only way out. So we borrowed some old clothes, some food that looked very similar to astronaut ice-cream (that tasted a lot like Aunt Reagan's homemade three cheese mac and cheese).

Then we left to go find Pascal's buddy Lucky, who apparently knows a lot about Earth and humans, and the only other way for us to get home. This place is genuinely insane the streets are filled to the brim with creators that are all shapes, colors and sizes, there are tiny sidewalks on the sidewalks for people that are like a couple inches tall, and the group talked to some colorful people like a frat looking guy that actually thinks read is cool (I know crazy) and this very tall intimidating women with bedazzled nails.

Everyone else is being insanely "calm" about this situation messing around and talking to people, I've been trying my best not to lose my god-damn mind and run off into the distance. We just need to get to this guy Lucky and get out of here. Of course there is a reason all their building are fireproof and that reason turns out to be dragon giant dragons that seem pretty normal since everyone in the street knew exactly how to clear out, and now we are sitting in a shoe store while a DRAGON is breathing fire at the goddamn window. All I can say is this is insane, and I really need some sleep. I am also wishing I had taken more writing classes to write about now, since I am sure this is a nightmare to read, I'm just impressed I was even able to get it this legible.

Please have a moment of silence for the people who were killed instead of freed when news of emancipation finally reached the furthest corners of the american south.

have another moment for the ledgers, catalogs, and records that were burned and the homes that were destroyed to hide the presence of very much alive and still enslaved people on dozens of plantations and homesteads across the south for decades after emancipation.

and have a third moment for those who were hunted and killed while fleeing the south to find safety across the border, overseas, in the north and to the west.

black people. light a candle, write a note to those who have passed telling them what you have achieved in spite of the racist and intolerant conditions of this world, feel the warmth of the flame under your hand, say a prayer of rememberance if you are religious, place the note under the candle, and then blow it out.

if you have children, sit them down and tell them anything you know about the life of oldest black person you've ever met. it doesn't have to be your own family. tell them what you know about what life was like for us in the days, years, decades after emancipation. if you don't know much, look it up and learn about it together.

This is Juneteenth.