I write Fallout 3, NV, and 4 - possibly multifandom in the future. Inconsistent but passionate ā„ļø Welcome to my evil lair. There will be dead dove content, but not everything I post is in that category. I enjoy heavy love ā obsessive & possessive behaviors, stalking, codependency, unhealthy relationships, and things of that nature. Have fun here lalala~
Characters such as the lone wanderer, sole survivor, and courier 6 are usually intended as self- or oc-inserts/readers!
My favs in no particular order: Craig Boone, Ulysses, Joshua Graham, Dean Domino (Donāt make that face at me.), Desmond Lockheart, Deacon, Nate & Nora, Porter Gage, Nuka-World and its bosses, Coursers, Sierra Madre as a setting, NCR, Caesarās Legion, and the Fiends as factions.
(btw I like a lot of Fo characters in general, so Iām not limited to the ones listed!)
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Porter Gage is so funny because a major part and appeal of his character is that he's middle aged southern man living in an amusement park. They took a carny and made him the vice manager of disney land. That greasy, violent, old man lives surrounded by the mickey mouse clubhouse and he's the most competent guy in that entire park rip
deacon and maccready arguing like a pair of angry cats but then the scene abruptly cuts to deacon violently thrusting into his face behind a sketchy building at night. thereās also a dull thunk sound when the back of maccreadyās skull collides with the building.
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i love sosu/deacon/maccready trio but i also think theyād be the most annoyinggg guys ever to travel with. a liar AND a whiner with some lovehate thing going on we might just have to die bruh
Somebody give Deacon a sole that sided with the institute that he can torture
This doesnāt have nearly enough torture but I'm taking too long. I usually don't like listening to betrayal voice lines but he sounds so good when he's cussing and speaking lowly⦠I love his damage, I want more bad Deacon!
CW. Dead Dove, mean Deac, kidnapping, themes of abuse, (non-violent) torture, and dehumanizing acts.
Deacon leans back in a chair, his posture mimicking relaxation while his appearance screams otherwise. He never acknowledges spatters of still-warm blood staining his wrinkled clothes, the disheveled state of his wig, nor the claw marks dragging down his arms. Sat back in his seat so that one arm hangs over the top rail, his other hand resting on his thigh, legs spread and head hung to the side as if he's appraising you behind his sunglasses. Itās routine.
You, laid pathetically on the bunker floor, hog-tied and gagged. You should've never taken his shifty ass to HalluciGen, their products hit like a bitch. You look equally worse for wear, covered in grime, blood smeared around your recent wounds and stuck underneath your nails. You can feel the bruises his grip on you left taking shape already.
To betray Deacon of all companions for the Institute, a small and buried part of his brain whispers to him you're askingā hell, begging for it. What were you thinking backstabbing the one person who very well knows you better than yourself? Returning too clean after giving yourself over to them.
Thereās something about it, he just loves the sight of you all dirtied up. Like this, you canāt hide behind your strict rituals of hygiene to lord it over common peoples. He calls it a "guilty" pleasure of his (lying). Itās like one of those motivational kitten hanging from a tree postersā you're just too fucking cute for your own good, even when youāre being degraded. He wants to shove your face into the dirt. Funny, you used to bond over the pre-war world and its cleanliness together.
He's got a lot of range. If thereās anyone who could play the long con itās Deacon, but is there any real reason to do so? He's got you right where he wants you while you've been abruptly ripped from your sanitized paradise with only Deacon to turn to. Being stuck in the same room as that deeply angry man heās repressed for years.
Deacon wants to bash it into your skull that youāve screwed up beyond what you can handle. He favors psychological-based methods over physical punishments. They line up eerily well with his tradecraft already. Things like humiliation rituals, sensory deprivation, sensory overload, restricting to outright incapacitating your limbsā he focuses on awkward, uncomfortable, and occasionally painful sensations mixed with a highly paranoid air based on his own perception of the world. He tends to make lessons out of it, with a coin toss of a guess on whether or not you'll be particularly condescended to that day.
There are so many methods to disorient you without laying a hand on you. Maybe one day you could wake up blindfolded, handcuffed but with your legs left untouched for you to roam around. To leave you with the privilege to freely move yet still unable to escape him could mess with your mind in the way he likes. Oh, and it wouldnāt be Deacon if he wasnāt pretending to be entirely different characters. You never know who's going to greet you that day and you might miss one more than another.
Thereās still an odd yet familiar gentleness to him. I think the part that teaches and guides still wants you to follow a certain path, if now with a forceful hand. Attempting to tread softly did the opposite of work, so maybe a push of terror is what you need instead. He doesn't trust anyone else to give it to you. It's attached to Deacon's touch only, so that you come to associate his flesh with something kind and safe despite the paranoia-induced nightmares he puts you under.
Deacon wants you to return to being that abandoned doe stumbling around in the grass, the same one that exited Vault 111 that fateful day. If he canāt fix you, then heāll take responsibility of you.
The gorgeous Simon merrells (Spartacus: War of the Damned, Knight Fall, Good Omens) is my live action Joshua Graham for A Mirror Darkly. If I could pick anyone to play Joshua Graham IRL, it would be Simon Merrells. He was absolutely phenomenal as Marcus Licinius Crassus in Spartacus, even as playing the antagonist of the final season)
I don't think Deacon would expect for Sole to be sad in response to his lying ("I'm a synth" affinity dialogue in mind) even if he can handle said response. He's committed to his identity as a liar and what that'll bring him, but the reactions he receives are usually either annoyed or angry or both. Wastelanders are basically guaranteed to have their guard up and get pissed by his antics. As for his fellow Railroad members, they're well used to it by this point, often find it irritating and know not to take it seriously. But for Sole, not only is it a rare moment of vulnerability for Deacon to witness but it signals to him that he's already gone past the point of treating them like a common waster. He may have had his walls up but Sole is risking their life everyday and trusting him to watch their back while they're at it. Their sad puppy eyes will have him thinking about their dialogue long after it's ended...
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Stealth boys being stunted tech in America is actually beneficial for Deacon/Sole because is they had a good, long runtime, a worse Deacon would be stalking you in the comfort of your own home. God knows how long heās waited to āaccidentallyā catch you masturbating. He'd be your shadow, then come knocking at your door to say hi around dinnertime as if nothing ever happened.
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fo4 writing is known to be bad but if there's one thing i do like about it, it's the sense of implied codependency between sosu and their companions. i'm dead sure it wasn't intended but it's still such an interesting way to look at their relationships. sosu pulls everyone out of the mud in one way or another, and while they likely learn to regulate themselves and maintain a standard of healthiness regarding their mental state, they're still inexplicably tied to sosu who was/acts as the barrier between despair and hope. all together they're like an organism, linking back to the single person who seemed the most out of place of them all yet is now their core. and as well put together sosu may seem, they're still a relic from a looong lost time that was ripped away from every human they ever lovedā even just known, all in a single sequence of unfortunate events. unless they just don't fucking care (which is honestly how fo4 writing makes it seem, excluding their spouse and shaun), that is inevitably going to bleed into their relationships. going from pre-war ideals family and love to a society that keeps a gun under its pillow every night, forming a true connection is no small feat. there's few reasons holding both sosu and their companions back from expressing the extent of their love for each other, knowing the wasteland could take it away at any moment, knowing how much the other party needs deep down under layers upon layers.