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this lamb keeps trying to sacrifice itself even though no one really needs or wants it to do that

i'm sexually interested in whatever's wrong with you

does getting cursed by a witch show up in drug tests

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

[very clearly enamored AND elated] He fucking bit me.

Sex is great but have you considered hitting me as hard as you can

(bloodstained and bruised) how am i? im pretty good just a little tired

Yesterday my little brother told me something very sweet and touching, that when he was a kid and had nightmares about monsters chasing him or whatever he would be able to end the nightmare by finding me in the dream and I would protect him by fighting off the zombies, or carrying him away. This is adorable, and makes me feel like the greatest older sibling in the world, but the hilarious thing is that when I was a kid I had nightmares of needing to save him from zombies and such. so many dreams where he was in trouble and I needed to save him. Like my nightmares began where his ended. Low key I think he mastered the ability to psychically transfer his nightmare to me as a child and I'm kind of annoyed with him.