Nonbinary Mocha Frappuccino

was thinking about how you can work out your tongue to make it stronger and went, you know, I wonder if there's a competitive sport for that, so in a brief blissful moment I forgot all outside context and googled "tongue wrestling" and I'm going to be honest, even accounting for that, what came up on google images was completely unwarranted

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

**to the tune of the alphabet song** twinkle twinkle little star

You might've noticed my new tone

And you might have noticed my new tome *casts fireball*

there are days where NO ❌️ video games are played and there are days where video games are played for 10 or maybe 14 hours straight

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

Bloopers are movie aftercare and it’s fucked up that we got rid of them

The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

I had a dream about getting stuck in an elevator 4 times in a row and I work in a place with an elevator that I avoided until I realized that was stupid and took the damn thing and you'll never guess what happened when I reached my floor