Nonbinary Mocha Frappuccino

Migraine sufferers will be like "it's not like I'm disabled or anything, it's just that if I do any of these normal everyday things other people do all the time, my head explodes. But I'm fine honestly, as long as I avoid doing anything ever and my environment and the weather never changes, then my head explodes a little less"

underrated friendship stage is the "testing the waters to see how much of a freak you are" stage. let me microdose being feral to see how you react. i have one large eye on you at all times waiting for you to give me Secret Permission to be a pervert or a weirdo. when will the shameless whore dam break. The Freak Rituals are sacred and time honoured and their importance cannot be overstated

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

I NEED TO WRITE FANFICTION <- guy who is perfectly capable of writing fanfiction <- guy who is not writing fanfiction

was thinking about how you can work out your tongue to make it stronger and went, you know, I wonder if there's a competitive sport for that, so in a brief blissful moment I forgot all outside context and googled "tongue wrestling" and I'm going to be honest, even accounting for that, what came up on google images was completely unwarranted

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

Me, pointing to the mirror: Do NOT become The Joker about this. This isn’t even a Condiment Man situation.

**to the tune of the alphabet song** twinkle twinkle little star

You might've noticed my new tone

And you might have noticed my new tome *casts fireball*

there are days where NO ❌️ video games are played and there are days where video games are played for 10 or maybe 14 hours straight

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs